Lucy was speechless, but she nodded her head vigorously. I grinned as I thought about Lucy handing it to the nastiest of the Seven Deadly Sins.
"Good. That's settled," Mother Nature said as she adjusted the neckline of her gown that was showing an obscene amount of cleavage. "Now about you," she hissed as she turned to my mother.
"Don't," Rhonda warned shakily.
"Don't what?" Mother Nature asked pleasantly. "Don't turn your Dragon ass into a handbag and matching pumps? Or how about a skintight bustier and booty shorts for my upcoming pole humping competition?"#p#分页标题#e#
"Pole dancing," I corrected her.
"That's what I said."
Lucy giggled and I gave her a quick elbow.
"Gaia," Eve said, using Mother Nature’s given name. "She is just protecting me."
"From what? Yourself?" Gigi sneered. "You have played with my boys and my granddaughter. That gives me gas, but now you're playing with destiny. I won't even begin to tell you what malady that causes my lower regions."
"Thank Hades," I mumbled and Lucy choked.
"I have done what I needed to do to survive." Eve stood and faced my grandma. "I have done nothing wrong."
“No, my dearest temptress. . .you have simply done nothing at all. There's a big difference. While you've wallowed in your perceived pain, those that wish to destroy balance have been quite busy. Your lack of balls has put your daughter, my sons and the mortal world as we know it in peril. Plus," she hissed, "I'm missing my program. If I miss Long Island Medium, there's no telling what will happen to Asia."
My family's obsession with balls made me involuntarily check to make sure I hadn't physically grown any.
"What are you doing?" Lucy asked as I discreetly grabbed my crotch.
"I’ll tell you later," I whispered, relieved that I was still nutsack free.
"What do you expect of me?" my mother cried. Her distress was real, but it didn't move me. Rhonda went to her and held her gently.
"I expect you to do what you were created for," Mother Nature said in a voice that was chilling. "I expect you to dump your baggage and step up. Now," she roared as the tombstone bearing my name crumbled to the ground. "Your daughter is not dead. She will not die, but you, my little temptress, are walking very close to the edge."
"We will not listen to this," Rhonda said angrily. "Eve does not deserve this. We will take our leave."
The Dragon threw her huge arms in the air and my mother and her protector vanished.
"Well, that was stupid and shortsighted," Mother Nature quipped and giggled.
"What are you talking about?" I asked as Lucy's mouth gaped open.
"It's not wise to fuck with Mother Nature," Gigi said.
"I thought it was fool," Lucy whispered.
"It is," Mother Nature agreed. "But fuck is simply more fun to say. Don't you think?"
"Yes," Lucy acknowledged. "It is."
"My kind of girl," Gigi said as she patted a happy Lucy on the head lovingly. "Well, my job here is done." She lifted her arms and prepared to blast off to somewhere.
"Wait," I yelled. "Do you have anything else to tell me?"
"Absolutely not," she sniffed incredulously. "I have no intention of turning us all to dust. I won the last fifteen pole dancing marathons. I'm on a roll. Not gonna screw with those odds."
"But. . ." I stopped myself and swallowed back the words that had almost left my lips. The Kev was right. I was in charge of my own destiny. I would discover the rest of the journey. Alone. "I love you," I told her instead.
"And I you," she cooed. "And you too, Lucy. I take you on as a step-Gigi. Can you cook?" she inquired.
"Kind of," Lucy answered.
"Good enough," Gigi shouted as a funnel of turquoise glitter engulfed her. "I'll expect you next month. You'll teach me to cook and I'll teach you to hump a pole like a stripper. Dixie, you come too and bring your man. He has a wonderful ass and I'd enjoy grabbing it."
On those alarming parting words she disappeared.
"Holy shit," Lucy uttered.
"Yep. That about covers it."
Chapter 32
Lucy slept soundly in her new room after Janet fussed over her for an hour. Myrtle was on a date with Timmy the Bear shifter doing Satan knew what, Carl was sewing sequins on matching tutus for himself and The Kev and the baby Demons were watching a monster truck marathon and beating the Hell out of each other. All was right with my world at the moment. I was exhausted. All I wanted was my bed and my dreams about Hayden. The thought of Gigi grabbing the Angel of Death's ass brought a smile to my lips. I wouldn't mind grabbing his ass either. Another week till I could see him. I couldn't wait.