"None of that will fit you," I snapped as she hugged my favorite t-shirt to her chest.
"Sure it will. My boobs are bigger." She swiped my shirt and raced from my room.
Her boobs were not bigger and a week and a half of community college on Earth had worn me out. Playing dumb, trying to move slowly and making sure my eyes didn’t turn red was hard--plus nobody liked me. Myrtle, an outcast in Hell, had joined a sorority and had a boyfriend. Cute Guy, aka Timmy Smith the necrophiliac, was her man.
I was not asked to join a sorority and I was not popular. I was more of a smart nerd, but even the nerds seemed wary of me. I was grudgingly tolerated by the mean girls because I was Myrtle's cousin. They still thought I was after their gross human boyfriends. As if. I had a boyfriend. . .a soul mate. At least I thought I did. I was counting the minutes until I was allowed communication with Hell.
Even though Myrtle seemed quite happy being popular, a Demon was still a Demon. Besides playing dead in public places, she was also practicing her other bizarre hobby on Earth—shaving and dyeing people’s pets in the dead of night to look like wild animals. I had spotted a number of dogs and cats in town resembling lions and tigers and skunks. The townfolk of Eden were stymied. She also joyfully appeared to be pitting the popular mean girls against each other. I couldn’t say I minded that one.
As I wandered to my closet I hid my favorite t-shirts. "No way she's swiping these," I muttered to no one, since being alone seemed to be my new MO.
I missed home so much it physically hurt. Thoughts of Hayden made me feel short of breath. He was in my every waking thought. And my dad. Oh, my dad. Thinking of him made my heart ache. I knew he hadn’t abandoned me, but the irrational side of me was still hurt and angry. I was sure he was visiting me in my dreams, but in the morning when I woke everything was too hazy to remember.
So here I was, in a place I had no desire to be, with no friends and nothing to do but go to community college, come home to get my ass kicked by Carl during fight training and wait for the Balance of Chaos, Angels or the evil Rogue Demons I was supposed to kill. Good times, good times. I used to drive a Porsche, have gobs of friends, family and invitations to everything. This sucked.
I missed my Porsche, but dad had set me up with a cool little Mustang convertible. Driving around Eden had become my new hobby. I had to keep moving or I’d find myself a portal to Hell and go home to be with Hayden. I knew that was the worst thing I could possibly do. My dad would be furious. I owed it to him, myself and Hayden to be brave and do whatever the Hell I was supposed to do.
Again to say Eden, Kentucky was beautiful was an understatement of epic proportions. It was loaded with gardens. Exquisite flower gardens. Every residence, business, school and park boasted landscaping that left you breathless. I wondered if they tested potential residents for green thumbs. Blanche loved the gardens.
Speaking of Blanche, Grandpa hadn’t been surprised in the least that the book with the heartbeat turned out to be my invisible best friend. He thought that it was a lot more convenient to have someone tell me the rules instead of having to read them. I explained to him that she hadn’t taught me anything and I had no idea where she was and he laughed. Laughed. I almost punched him in his cute little head. However, he did show me how to cloak myself in invisibility and how to transport without a portal. Janet thought it was hilarious that I kept ending up in the bathroom no matter where I tried to transport. She thought possibly my magic system might be clogged. I turned her skin lime green for two hours for that lovely pun. If I was any kind of decent Demon I would have left her green for a week.
I might be a wussy Demon occasionally, but I certainly wasn't a wussy driver. Ever. I topped out at ninety-eight as I made my way down the long country road into town. I needed to kill a couple of hours before I got my ass handed to me by Carl, so I decided to go shopping.
***
The candle shop was cute. The whole freakin’ downtown area was cute. “Light My Fire”, I’m not kidding, the uber kitschy candle store was empty. So much for a bustling economy in Eden, Kentucky. It did smell lovely inside. I moved immediately to the grapefruit, lemony-smelling candles and started sniffing. I could spend hours in a candle shop sniffing every candle in the entire store. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I loved them all. Of course I’d leave with a raging headache and reeking of cinnamon and vanilla, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Stella and I used to do it at least every other week. Hades, I missed Stella.
“Can I help you?’
Crap, I knew that bitchy voice. That voice liked me about as much as I liked it. Damn it, now I wasn’t going to be able to sniff my way into a migraine. She was such a buzzkill. I willed my eyes to stay gold as I turned to find Blondie, aka Lucy Adams, glaring at me. Hands on her popular hips and peaches and cream complexion all flustered. All American golden girl and a big fat hairy bitch all rolled into one.#p#分页标题#e#