Hell On Heels(32)

"You are killing me," he said as his hands grabbed my ass.
Heat traveled through me and landed squarely between my legs. I whimpered and tried to crawl inside him. His hands were everywhere and with each touch I climbed higher. . .closer.
Until he pushed me off of him and held me at arm’s length.
"Are you ready to commit to me for the rest of your very long life?" he demanded gruffly. His eyes blazed and his breath came in short spurts.
"Oh my Hell," I shouted. "You're a Demon. You're not supposed to have morals. How did I find a Demon with a conscience?"
"Answer my question."
"Can we at least get to third base before I have to answer?"
"Oh Dixie." His eyes crinkled and I wanted to slap the smirk off of his face. He pressed his lips to mine and I felt the kiss all the way to my toes. "I'll be back in a few hours to say goodbye."
***
Baseball sucked.
Sexually frustrated and ready to scream, I opened my suitcase and began to pack everything I owned. I wasn’t sure how different Earth would be from Hell. I was panicked. I picked my nail polish clean off and started on my cuticles. Blanche hadn’t been around in days, which was highly unusual. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t talk to my family about her absence. They didn’t believe she existed.
“Dixie,” a voiced hissed ominously.
“Grandpa?"
“It's Pee Wee Herman."
Pee Wee Herman wasn't dead. "Show yourself," I yelled. I was in no mood for this and I wasn't a hundred percent sure it was my grandpa.
"I've come to get you," the voice growled.
"Really?" I snapped. "You're not doing a very good job then."
“Dixie.” The voice sighed in exasperation. “Are you really going to have conversations with things that want to kill you?"#p#分页标题#e#
"Are you going to kill me?"
"Well, no."
"So your point is?" I asked the empty room.
"My point is that you should have tried to destroy me. What in the Hell are you going to do on Earth when your Uncle God sends the do-gooder winged jackasses down to kill you?”
“Grandpa, PeeWee Herman isn't really scary. I'd suggest you get up to date on pop culture if you want me to try and kill you."
"Point," my grandpa said as he materialized in a cloud of glitter.
My grandpa was the cutest man alive. He was part Sprite and part Demon. I pressed my fists into my sides so I wouldn’t squeeze him. He spent a lot of time in traction because my sisters had squeezed and loved on him too hard.
“You want to hug me and stroke me,” Grandpa informed me with great delight.
“Ewwww.” I groaned. “Do not say stroke. That sounds so wrong.”
“Oh, for the love of Mother Nature's rack, how did my son sire such a prude?” He shook his head and gave me a wink.
“I don’t know, but he did and don't say rack." I grinned and blew him a kiss. "I also happen to know that although you may protest, you love me to pieces.” Damn, I wanted to grab him and squeeze him. “Are your ribs healed?” I asked as I debated if I could at least pick him up and cuddle with him.
My grandpa was a tiny little thing, approximately the size of an Oompa Loompa. He was as irresistible as they come and almost as powerful as my father but not quite. His son was my dad, Satan. Dad and Uncle God were actually half brothers. They shared the same mother—Mother Nature.
“So, are you excited, my sweet?” he asked as he examined the contents of my suitcase.
“Um, no,” I said quietly as I sat down on my bed and shoved my hands under my bottom so I didn’t grab my grandpa and break him.
“You and your cousin Astrid are the only ones that can control yourselves around me,” he muttered as he refolded some of my clothes that I had sloppily thrown in. “The Balance of Chaos is missing and the Rogue Demons are out of control.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Grandpa loved dropping time bombs.
“The Rogue Demons on Earth are wreaking havoc and they must be stopped,” he relayed as if he were reciting a laundry list of chores. "Of course the one who should be stopping them is useless."
“Rogue Demons?” I asked, knowing for sure I didn’t really want the answer.
Grandpa clasped his little hands together and bowed his head. “They are Demons who don’t follow our rules." He paused and squinted.
“Don’t you dare sugarcoat.”
“Fine,” Grandpa huffed and rolled his eyes. “They are Demons that roam Earth killing and maiming mortals, Angels, Demons, Vampyres, Fairies. You name it. Basically they’re destroying the Balance of Chaos. They have become uncontrollable and it’s come to our attention they want to destroy your father and supposedly God.”