Hell And Back(78)

“You love my little girl as if she were your own. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that she has you and your love in her life, Brenda. It means more than I could ever find the words to explain. You love me unconditionally, with your whole heart, and other than my Nan, you’re the only person who has loved me like this.” I lay my head next to her hand. “I never said goodbye to her. I never got a chance to thank her for loving me like she did. But then I come home, a broken shell of a woman who had nothing but the love of a little girl.” I bring the back of my hand to my face. “Then almost as if we were meant to meet you, you were there and took one look at me, at us, and instead of turning your nose up at us, you held out your hand and gripped mine. You never let go, Brenda, not once.”

My breath is catching in my throat, and my words are punctuated with hiccups. “I’m a mother, so I know, I can recognize it. You love me like a mother loves a child. You love my daughter like a grandmother loves a grandchild. You love us so much that you didn’t hesitate to put yourself between us and our monster, to put your life on the line for ours. I know why you did it, but I’m so mad you did that.” I lick my lips and continue, “You can’t leave us now. You can’t leave your little heart. Please, Brenda. Please don’t go.”

I lay my head back down on the bed next to her, and I break down. I cry for her, the woman who I consider a friend, the woman who is the only maternal figure I have left in my life, and I cry for the woman I pray will be here by my side, guiding me and cheering me on.

I feel fingers in my hair, and at first I think it’s my imagination until I hear a whispered, “Don’t cry, Bella.”

I raise my head to see the eyes of the woman I just poured my heart out to. “Oh my God, oh my God. My God, Brenda.” I wipe my nose and try to stand, but my legs are still like jelly from the drugs in my system.

“Was…” She tries to speak, but she’s so weak, it’s a bit of a challenge for her. “…so scared. Little heart?”

This woman went through the same terrifying experience as we did, but she was the one who was shot. She lost a lot of blood and had to have major surgery. She just woke up in the hospital, and the first thing she asked wasn’t what happened or where she is, but how Lilah is.

I look over my shoulder at the door, knowing Jackson’s right on the other side of it waiting for me. “Jackson.” I raise my voice a little to call out.

Just like I knew he would, Jackson opens the door and walks in with Lilah still wrapped around him like a monkey.

“Lilah.” Brenda tries to open her eyes and sit up, but she moves too quickly and cries out in pain.

“Don’t you move!” I practically yell at her.

“Ms. Brenda, you have big ouchies?” Lilah asks.

“No, little heart. I’m okay, this is nothing.”

It doesn’t surprise me Brenda tries to pretend this isn’t a big deal. “Lilah, Ms. Brenda was very brave,” I tell her.

“Braber dan Ackson?” she asks.

“Just as brave as Jackson. She loves us very, very much.” I squeeze Brenda’s hand, watching the tears now fill her eyes. “She loves you like Nan loved me.” I turn to look at Brenda. “Right?”

Brenda doesn’t say anything, instead just nods her head in agreement.

“I think it would be very special if from now on we call her Nan. So she knows we love her just as if she were our Nan.” Looking at Brenda, I ask her, “Would that be okay?”

“I lobe you, Nan,” Lilah says, not even giving her the chance to say no.

“I love you, too, little heart, so very, very much.”

“Ackson, I have a Nan and a Nana,” she tells him like she just discovered the secret to a Caramilk bar.

“That is because you are so very loved.”

“She is. Now I’m just going to rest my eyes a bit, okay?” Brenda says.

“We should go, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I bend down, placing a kiss on her hand because I can’t reach her cheek.





Chapter Fifty-Two


Jackson





Two weeks have passed since that fateful day.

Our physical wounds are healing, but it’s our emotional ones that cut the deepest. Those are going to take some time to heal.

Mom claimed Adam’s body and had a funeral for him. Not wanting to upset us, she did it by herself.

But when Bella found out about it, she forced me to put on a suit and be the man she said she knew I was.

Even with the sun shining, I couldn’t help but feel the sadness around us when we got to the cemetery.

I saw the coffin, white flowers lying on top of it, poised above the empty grave. But it was my mother who really got to me. Standing there alone beside her son’s coffin, dressed all in black, head bowed, and crying.