Hell And Back(60)

My mother.





Chapter Thirty-Nine


Bella





When I hear the knock on the door, I want to cry or maybe scream. Either way, I’m just as frustrated as Jackson.

When the door opens, staring in at us is Jackson’s mother. Adam’s mother.

I knew I would have to face her eventually. I just didn’t think it would be this soon. I certainly didn’t think it would be as she interrupted her son kissing the life out of me.

“Mom, what are you doing here?” he asks her as the smile falls from her lips.

“I tried sending you a message. You didn’t answer me, so I came to see you,” she says, wringing her hands anxiously. She is obviously nervous to see her son and because she’s forced that by showing up unannounced.

Looking past him, her eyes, bright with surprise, land on me. “Oh, Bella,” she says, pushing past Jackson. She comes right to me, taking me into her arms for a hug.

My arms are glued to my side. My eyes find Jackson’s.

She finally pulls back, holding my arms in her hands. “I was so worried about you and Lilah.” When she says Lilah’s name, my head snaps. My spine goes straight as do my shoulders.

Jackson must sense the change because he makes his way over to me. Putting his arm around me, he tries to give me strength.

“Mom, now isn’t a good time. I don’t think Bella is ready for a family reunion  .”

I lean into him, and he takes almost all of my weight, practically holding me up.

“I’m so, so sorry. Please, I won’t take much of your time.” She looks at me. It’s a look from one mother to another, pleading with me to give her the time.

“Mom,” Jackson starts.

“It’s okay,” I say. “It was bound to happen. Might as well get it over with now.” My arms wrap around his waist.

“Fine, but when I say it’s over, it’s over.” He looks from me to his mother. “She’s healing, remember that.”

She doesn’t say anything and just nods.

We walk into his living room where she sits down on one love seat, and we sit on the other one facing her.

“I don’t know where to start,” she says. “I had this whole speech planned out. All the words ready, but the minute I saw you, my mind went blank.” She looks around for the Kleenex box, finds it, and grabs one.

“He wasn’t always a monster,” she starts, and I know exactly who she is talking about. “He was a terror, that is for sure. I’m telling you, by the age of seven, he already had four broken bones. He was afraid of nothing,” she says while she dabs her eyes.

Jackson pulls my hand into his, intertwining our fingers in a show of unity.

“He took his father’s death the hardest. It was at a time in his life where he needed guidance, and there was no one there for him.”

Jackson clears his throat, drawing her gaze to him.

“I mean, Jackson did try, but it wasn’t the same. I admit I checked out a little at first. Losing Frank was devastating. He was the love of my life, and continuing my life without him was so hard, but I had no choice. I had two boys to raise. Or, really just one.”

Tears fill my eyes at the sound of her voice cracking when she tells me about their father. The love they shared is clearly apparent even after all this time. Their shared devastation made them into the people they are today.

I don’t say anything because, frankly, there isn’t anything to say right now.

“I saw changes in him, but I ignored them. I just thought he was going through a phase. He was angry at first, so very angry. He punched a couple of holes in the wall.” She looks over at Jackson, the surprise of her admission evident on his face.

“I never told you because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.” She shakes her head. “I’m not making excuses for him. I’m just trying to show you he’s not the Adam we knew. The Adam you met, he isn’t the sweet little boy who used to pick dandelions and bring them home and profess his love for me.” The image of Adam she is painting is nothing like the man I knew.

“He’s not the monster you think he is. It’s the drugs that make him like that. He needs help.” It’s the last thing she says before I interrupt her.

“The first time he hit me was because Lilah was crying too much, and he hadn’t had a hit for a few hours,” I say, my voice strong. “There were a few good memories, in the beginning, but nothing could possibly outweigh the bad. I’m sorry, but there isn’t anything you can say that will make what he did to me okay. There is no excuse for it, and drugs weren’t to blame.” I look over at Jackson, silently asking for permission to tell her why I left. He silently nods at me.