Heat Wave(75)

Oh. No wait.

It wasn’t a dream. The truth comes sliding in like the sunrise.

I open my eyes to see a warm glow filling the white walls of the room. This unfamiliar room. Without meaning to, I hold my breath, like I’m afraid to breathe, and then turn my head.

Logan is asleep beside me, sprawled half out of the sheets, his muscled thigh and firm ass naked and on display.

Oh hell he’s gorgeous. I blink at the sight, taking it all in. This isn’t the seductive glow of night - this is the unfiltered reality. And it’s beautiful. His body really is a sight to behold, manly perfection in every way, and I’m in bed with him.

I lift up the sheet and look under. I’m completely naked. I think my clothes are somewhere on the living room floor. I think Logan owes me a new pair of underwear.

Did we really do that? The way he took me on the floor, my head pressed against the rug while he fucked me, raw and real, from behind, that moment was the moment I knew I was his, like I always should have been, a moment neither of us can escape from.

And do I want to escape? That’s the next question. Here I am, sleeping in Juliet’s own bed after I’ve been thoroughly fucked by her husband. What kind of person am I?

What kind of person was she? my conscious counters. For the first time it seems to be arguing against her. She cheated on him and then lied to me about it, covering her own ass.

“What are you doing?” Logan murmurs into his pillow, causing me to jolt in surprise.

“Um, staring at you?” I tell him. “Wondering what the hell just happened?”

He raises his head and looks at me. His dark hair is all rumpled and falling across his forehead, making him look way younger than he is. “Nothing just happened, Freckles. It happened three times. Last night. You’ve had hours of sleep since.”

I bite my lip, feeling bashful and out of my element. He couldn’t blame me. This was the last thing I saw coming.

“Hey,” he says, easing himself up on his side. He reaches for me, grabbing my hand. “I can’t tell you what to do, lord knows I’ve bloody well tried. But please believe me when I say you have nothing to worry about.”

I nod, though I know his words won’t reach as deep as he hopes. Because, I mean, how can they reach the reserves of guilt I seem to have an endless store of?

“Veronica,” he says and my eyes snap to his. “I mean it. Please don’t lose your mind over this.”

“What makes you think I’m losing my mind?”

“I know you enough to tell. You’re seconds from storming out of here and never looking back.” He sighs, frowning. “Look, neither of us planned on last night, but it happened and I’m glad it did. It was overdue.”

“You can’t…you can’t say things like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because of she who will not be named.”

He scrutinizes me for a moment. “Listen to me carefully. I don’t know about you, but last night wasn’t a one-off thing for me. It was the prelude to an ongoing thing. Meaning, I don’t just want to fuck you, Veronica. I never wanted just that. I want a lot more. So whatever is going on right now with us…I can’t have that be the bloody end of it.”

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to feel. I know he’s saying everything I ever wanted him to say and I know it’s doing something to my heart. It’s making it warm, it’s making it swell, it’s making it so it’s hard to breathe. But when I take a moment to look beyond the two of us being in bed together…how could this ever work?

“And then what?” I ask him, flipping onto my side, holding the sheet up to my chest and propping my head up with my elbow. “Then what happens?”

He stares at me and sighs. “I don’t think it’s rocket science.”

“Logan,” I tell him. “I’m not just some girl that you want to fuck and you’re not some guy I want to sleep with; there are layers here.”

“I know about the layers.”

“Well the layers are what can prevent us from ever…moving forward.”

“Tell me what you’re afraid of,” he says, adjusting himself against the pillow. “Tell me all your fears and I’ll carry them for you.”

That’s unbelievably sweet but…“Jeez, I don’t know, everything?”

His frown deepens, that line showing up between his eyes that I want to press my finger against and smooth. “Are you afraid of me? That I’ll hurt you? That I’ll leave you?”

I have to take a moment. Until, well, last night, I would have said yes. Once a cheater, always a cheater. That I knew from personal experience. If he cheated on Juliet, he would cheat on me. But after last night, now that I learned the truth…I don’t know. Of course the fear of having my heart broken is there but that would be true with anyone you’re falling for. Every time you have the chance to climb high, you also have that chance to fall.