Heat Wave(56)
“And yet he hasn’t been able to appreciate it. His heart is broken and it was making him sick. They have a saying in Hawaiian you know…”
“Another one?”
“We have many. This one is pono. Which is making right your wrongs and practicing forgiveness. Once an apology has been made, it becomes your responsibility to forgive. If a grudge is held instead, it becomes kaumaha, a burden, and it will make you ill at heart.”
I swallow hard, staring at Logan again. “I don’t see what that has to with Logan.”
“Sometimes you can wrong yourself. Sometimes you don’t honor your own truth. Sometimes you forgive but the person isn’t alive anymore to accept it.”
I stare at Johnny for a few moments, weighing my words before I say them. “I don’t think you really know the real Logan.”
“Do you?” he counters. His eyes are glittering, trying to tell me something but I can’t quite figure it out.
“No I suppose I don’t,” I concede, wanting to drop the subject now.
Johnny just nods. “It’s a magical night. Breathe it in. Appreciate it. See people in a new light. The torches illuminate so much more than the surface. A luau is about thanks and celebration of family. Give thanks for being here. Celebrate your ohana. Your family.” He pauses. “And remember Shephard is your family too. Not just because of Juliet.” He finishes the rest of his drink. “More punch?”
“Yes please,” I tell him, handing him my cup. As Johnny goes off, I look around for Charlie, wondering where he’s gone. I spot him in the parking lot talking to to Kate about something heated. Kate’s throwing up her arms like he’s said something that’s gotten under her skin, which is a rarity, and Charlie is rolling his eyes.
I don’t mean to spy, though I do mean to grill Kate when we head back to the unit later.
Eventually Johnny comes back with more punch and we have a few more cups until it’s time to serve dessert. Despite all of us feeling tipsy, and now Charlie and Kate having totally disappeared, we manage to get out the buffet of mango and rice pudding, lilikoi cheesecake, and coconut pie.
As the night wears on, everyone is drunk and happy, guests included. Dan was right about making that punch extra potent. Johnny, Dan, Jin, and Logan put everything away after the guests leave, so the girls can relax. I have a few more drinks with Nikki and our Saturday waitress, Lucia, sprawled out on the coarse, spongey grass, tiki torches wavering in the breeze. Above us the sky is dark and open, the stars a dusting of sparkling sugar.
“Where is Kate?” I ask, rattling the ice in my cup.
Nikki laughs, throwing her hair over her shoulder. “Do you even have to ask?”
“Do you see Charlie?” Lucia asks wryly. “No. Put two and two together.”
“In other words, don’t head back to your apartment so soon,” Nikki says with a smirk.
“Figures,” I mutter. Fighting leads to fucking. Well, for everyone but me.
“Hey, can I ask you guys a question,” I ask after a few minutes, my voice low as Daniel takes in some of the chairs back to the restaurant.
“Sure, what?” Nikki asks.
“After my sister died…was there ever anyone else? I mean, with Logan?”
Nikki and Lucia exchange a furtive glance.
“What?” I ask because that glance sure as hell meant something. “One of you?”
“No, no,” Nikki quickly exclaims. “Not us. Nothing like that anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
There! Another sneaky glance.
“You guys! Come on. I need to know. I won’t say anything.”
Lucia sighs. “Well I don’t live here, so I don’t have much to lose. And anyway it isn’t a big deal. A girl Charlotte used to work here. She and Logan went out a few times.”
“Oh my god,” I exclaim, feeling somehow both jealous and angry. “When?”
“Maybe six months ago?” Nikki muses.
“Did he cheat on Juliet with her?”
“What?” Nikki asks, scrunching up her nose. “Cheat on her? Logan would never do that.”
How badly I want to tell her otherwise.
“No, it was short, maybe a few dates. Charlotte had a mad crush on him hey, and finally he gave in,” Lucia says with a laugh. She gives me a quick shrug. “I don’t know. I think he kind of needed it. It was really hard seeing him after she died.”
“Like he was actually upset?”
Nikki frowns. “What kind of person do you think Logan is?”
What kind of person? Once again, I think I have no idea.
We stay there on the lawn for a while longer, talking about Lucia’s newest boyfriend in Hanalei, a lifeguard, and some live music show playing at a lounge in Kapaa’a tomorrow. But all I can think about is Logan. Now this Charlotte woman. It’s completely possible that this was the person he cheated on Juliet with, especially if she worked here. Nikki and Lucia might think they know Logan, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t privy to anything important. Not like that. Juliet had a hard-enough time confiding in me, I’m sure she would go out of her way to make sure no one else here knew what was really going on.