“Me neither,” I sob and then I’m kissing him, my lips on his mouth, his cheeks, his forehead and he’s embracing me and people around us are erupting into applause.
I look around, smiling, crying, embarrassed, overjoyed. And I look at everyone, all my friends, my ohana, and I know things are going to be okay. Some of them are smiling, some of them are still in shock, some of them look suspicious. But in the end I know they stand by me, and stand by us, and if it’s weird right now, they’ll allow it to get better.
Eventually we get up, Logan hauling me to my feet, brushing my hair from my face, kissing me with tears in his eyes.
“It’s you and me, Freckles. Me and you.”
And then, then, the party really starts. The champagne is flowing, guests are congratulating us, the music is blaring. Johnny comes up to us, pulling us both into a hug, and says, “This is weird but you both know that. You’re good people and you both deserve to be happy. Even you, habut. No, especially you. God. Give the rest of us a break, man.”
Soon after, Kate and Nikki come up to see the ring, which I can fully appreciate now that my eyes have dried. It looks almost vintage, an asymmetrical pearl offset by diamonds that sparkle like the Hawaiian sky under these lights. Then they bombard me with questions about being bridesmaids and where the wedding will be held and all the things that I never dared to dream about but now is a total reality. The only person who is a bit stand-offish is Charlie, but I figure he’s drunk (still shirtless, too) and just needs some time to come around.
When it gets late and things start to wind down, the new day seeping into the night, Logan takes my hand and leads me home to his house.
There’s so much to discuss, so many things we’re going to have to face.
But we’re doing it together.
And for tonight, we’re the only people that matter.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I wake up in Logan’s arms. I wake up with a gorgeous diamond and pearl ring on my finger. I wake up with this man’s love. A pledge for endless love.
And I wake up afraid.
I take in a deep breath, turning my head to see Logan sleeping soundly beside me, snoring lightly. He’s so beautiful, the perfect face at first glance, but the closer you look, the more you see the imperfections. The acne scars on his cheek, the way his nose twists in the middle, a surfing injury from back in the day. When he smiles you can see a few crooked bottom teeth, and his grin itself isn’t fully even.
But all these little flaws only make him more gorgeous. They make him more mine. In our flaws, outside and in, we see each other and understand each other.
And yet I’m afraid. Afraid of what’s about to come. I love Logan with all my heart but I know there’s a world out there that won’t see that love and won’t understand. And while I’m prepared to fight them, I’m prepared to turn my back on those who will judge us, I’m worried that they can fight back harder.
I’m going to be Logan’s wife. It’s everything I’ve wanted and then some.
But this isn’t going to be easy.
I have to tell my parents.
“Are you watching me sleep again?” Logan mumbles, keeping his eyes closed.
“Yes,” I say, voice creaky from sleep. “Can’t get quite enough of you.”
“You’re going to get a lot more of me,” he says, slowly opening his eyes, fixing them on me. “I can’t believe I get to wake up next to you like this for the rest of our lives.”
His love is intoxicating, banishing the dark clouds I have threatening my heart. I kiss him softly as he runs his hands through my hair and we are lost to each other.
Eventually we get out of bed. A new year, a new life. The restaurant is closed for the holiday but Logan does have to go relieve Kate from reception later. She’s getting paid triple overtime out of the goodness of Logan’s heart, but I’m sure she’s raring to go back to bed and sleep. Everyone has to be a bit hungover.
It’s weird not to hide it anymore, but it feels good. And with everyone being so happy for us, it puts an extra bit of pep in my step. In fact, as we walk back to the hotel together, I’m practically skipping, swinging on his arm like a schoolgirl.
While he heads off to do some work, I head back to my place. We have plans to meet later for dinner, which either means a spot in Hanalei if any are open, or I’ll just cook for him again. There’s no one else I’d rather slave over the stove for, and how much he enjoys what I make is just icing on the literal cake (coconut is his favorite).
But the minute the door closes behind me, the rays of happiness start to fade. The fear is back, lurking behind the dark clouds, threatening the happy little life we’ve built with each other.