Heartstopper(38)

I feel like the worst person in the world. I swear I've almost had a  mental breakdown over what happened. Starting a fire in the club,  feeling responsible for Sophie getting in a crash, the music guy telling  me I was done, and I feel like I've lost Jake. I'm just ready to give  up. "I'm sorry," I whisper, tears trickling down my cheeks. "I just feel  terrible for causing a shit storm."

Mindy reaches down, pulling me to my feet. "Well, we're changing everything starting now. Do you know what today is?"

"What?" I ask, and Mindy wipes a tear from my cheek with her thumb, just like she used to do when we were kids.

"The day you said you were going to the studio to record that song you wrote."

I immediately shake my head, trying to pull back. "No way, not that. What's the point? That's a waste of time."

Besides, the man I love and wrote it for won't even be there. He's never  going to hear it. It hurts to even think about Jake. When Mindy says I  haven't eaten, that's why. I think about Jake, and my stomach hurts so  much that I can't even imagine food.         

     



 

"Yes, you are. You're going to shower and eat, and we're heading downtown to record that song."

"There's no point!" I protest. "You heard that asshole. That was my one and only chance!"

Mindy grabs me by the shoulders, looking into my eyes. "The point is,  you owe it to yourself. Do it for you. Fuck everything and everyone  else. You go in there, and you put that thing on disc for you. Or so  help me God, I'm going to introduce you to realms of pain you can't even  imagine!"

Her corny line breaks through, and I smirk. "Oh, how's that? I've already heard you sing."

"Yeah, but you've never heard Gavin sing," Mindy says. "Don't make me get ugly on you."



You better bring it, boy,

I've only got tonight

I'm leaving town tomorrow, I can't stay the night

Have places to go, Catching an early flight

If you want me to stay, you gotta come correct

My heart's almost yours, take that final step

Heartstopper, Heartstopper

Can you feel it in my chest?

Heartstopper, Heartstopper,

Fingers on my breast

Your touch is electric,

Has been from the start

Give it to me, baby,

Or I'ma stop your heart.

I let out a breath, gasping for air as I sing the last note and the club  banging beat plays in the background. I don't know how they got the  music mixed so perfectly so quickly, but it's amazing.

Maybe I'm wasting my time. Maybe this is nothing more than a final  middle finger to anyone who's doubted me. But for the past hour and  forty-five minutes that I've been in the recording booth, I've felt a  change coming over me. All the worries and pains I've been going through  fell away. It was just me, the music, and my heart.

"That's the one!" Oliver shouts in elation to the studio engineer, a  nerdy looking blond guy with tiger-striped wide-rim glasses sitting  beside him in the system room. "You got what you need. Get to work!"

I tilt my head, watching as Gavin and Oliver start chatting together  excitedly while the studio engineer gets his computers together.  Scowling, I pull off my headphones and talk into the mic. "What the hell  are you two so excited about?"

I seriously don't know what these two are up to. They're nearly buzzing as they come into the studio.

They both grin at me like a pair of mischievous school boys, not saying a word.

"Spit it out!" I beg as their smiles become infectious. "Or I'ma make Mindy come up in here and sing Barney."

They both laugh at me, but Oliver is the one to speak. "Gavin and I have  decided to invest a little in you using what I like to call ‘fuck you  money'. Tomorrow, in ten different time slots on the local radio,  Heartstopper is going to be played."

"Yeah," adds Gavin. "Not only that, but we're going to release it on  iTunes, Amazon, all that. You don't need a label to self-publish."

I blink, shocked. "You two . . . you're batshit crazy!" I exclaim heatedly. "You realize this isn't going to sell shit, right?"

"Who cares?" Gavin says with a shrug. "This isn't about the sales."

"I care!" I protest. "Guys, I tried iTunes already. I put a whole album  on there. It sold exactly one hundred copies, and I suspect five of them  were you guys!"

"Seven," Gavin says matter-of-factly. "I wanted it to be a round number."

"See!" I say. "You prove my point!"

"Girl, stop with all that fussing. You're amazing," Mindy, who's been  out in the hallway and talking with the sound guy, says, coming in.  "It's going on there or so help me God, I'm going to turn into Iggy  Azalea and treat you guys to my first rap song."

I throw my hands up in immediate surrender. "Oh, hell no. You win!"

Everyone in the studio laughs and Mindy says, "Girl, I promise you,  Leigh's going to be singing all the lyrics and copying her auntie's  twerk routine by lunch tomorrow."

I grin, the first one I've had in awhile. It feels unfamiliar on my  face-that's how down I've been over the past few days. "Well, someone  has to teach your daughter some life skills."

Everyone laughs while we close up the studio, turning in the keys to the front desk.

"Mindy," I say as we leave the studio. "Wait up."

"Sure," she says, waving Oliver and Gavin on. "You two go. We'll see you  at the hotel." The guys leave, and she turns to me, smiling. "What's  up?"

"I can't go back to my job," I say, shaking my head.         

     



 

"Is it the job or is it Jake?" Mindy asks, and I shrug. She pulls me in  for a hug, and I gotta admit, it feels good. "I see. Well, if you find  that you can't, why don't you quit your job and come back home with us?"

"After what happened, I feel so guilty. I can't face Jake. I just can't.  Not only because of the club, but it will just be so awkward after what  we had going."

Mindy nods. "We can help you back on your feet. Hell, I might even have a job for you in the cafe."

When I think about it, what is here for me if there's no Jake? Work is  going to be so awkward. I just can't imagine it. I want to go to Jake,  but now I can't bear to look at him, not after destroying his hard work  and his relationship with his sister.

"I think I might take you up on that offer. Give me the weekend to think about it."





Chapter 28





Jake





Coming into the office Friday morning, the first thing I do when I get off the elevator is look over at Roxy's desk.

Empty.

Again.

I sigh and go into my office, setting my briefcase down on my desk  before slumping into my chair. I rub at my temples. It's only eight  forty-five and I've already got a headache. I know why, too. Sure,  Sophie's talking to me and the club's cleaned out now, but there's an  aching hole in my chest. The same hole that's in a cubicle just outside  my office.

Elena drops off something for me to look over. I don't really give a  damn. A familiar figure goes by the office, and I look up, but it's just  Hannah. I can't stand this any longer. I pick up my phone. "Elena?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Have Hannah Fowler report to my office immediately, please."

"Of course, sir," Elena says in that tone of voice that says Great, he's doing something crazy again. FML.

Still, Elena's a professional, and fewer than five minutes later, Hannah knocks on my office door. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

I nod at the chair. "Relax, Hannah. I think you know what this is about.  How is she doing? I haven't seen her all week and she isn't answering  my texts. I miss her."

"There isn't much I can tell you," Hannah says. "Mindy dragged her out  of the apartment Wednesday, and she hasn't been back since. Honestly,  I'm sort of glad she's out for a while. Her room was getting funky."

I nod, and it breaks my heart to hear that. "Do you have any idea what she's doing?"

Hannah shakes her head. "Sorry. She sent me a text last night saying to  keep my ears open and that she'd have more information for me today, but  that's it."

I swallow, leaning back. "Okay. Well, if you see her, talk to her, whatever . . . tell her I'd like to get in touch?"

"Of course," Hannah says. "Will that be all?"

"Yes, thank you," I say, when suddenly, my office door opens, and Elena's there.

"Turn on the radio!" Elena says, running over to the old-fashioned FM radio that came with my office. "You have to hear this!"

She switches on the stereo, punching in 97.3, the local pop station. She  cranks the volume and turns, giving me a look as the DJ goes on. " . . .  so after the recent fire, Roxy decided she needed to say she was sorry  for the incident. And as a thanks to her fans from Club Jasmine, here's  the song that she was going to debut a week ago. Heartstopper."

I jump to my feet as the background track that I'd heard only once  before starts bumping and thumping on my stereo. Seconds later, Roxy's  pure, sensual voice fills my office.