Serefina was trying to enjoy the dinner and conversation with old friends. Each time she found herself engrossed in the subject, she had the tinge of guilt deep within her belly. It was always there, that question of why she was alive. Different things triggered it. She ran the tip of her finger over the rim of the glass of wine she’d only sipped twice since dinner.
The place was lovely, set out on the boardwalk, nowhere near the rides and attractions just on the outskirts. It was a step up from the other places on the boardwalk that were a bit more rowdy and crowded. The live music was another special addition.
She looked at the woman singing on stage. She kind of appeared nervous. Serefina remembered the days so long again when singing brought her joy and pleasure. As a teen she and her friends sang for special events around town and in school. Serefina always landed the role that had the most solos. She swallowed hard. She hadn’t sung a song, or hummed a tune since losing Matt.
“Hey, Serefina, that’s our song,” Tasha stated, interrupting her thoughts.
“Oh my God, it is our song,” Mel added.
“You know what this means, don’t you?” Catalina asked.
“No, what does it mean?” Serefina asked, practically feeling their excitement trying to break down her walls of sadness.
Serefina felt her cheeks turn a shade of red as Tasha began singing the first line of the song. Then Mel followed. Here they were, grown women in their twenties, out of college, working on careers, and they were in a restaurant starting to sing and draw complete attention to them.
Serefina started laughing as Catelina joined in and they raised their eyebrows at her to prepare for her part. They looked so happy, so excited to do this, and as Serefina’s part from years ago came up, she went to sing and got only the first line out before her voice cracked, tears filled her eyes, and she stopped.
She couldn’t help it. Every time she began to feel happy, the guilt brought her down.
“Serefina, it’s okay,” Tasha said as she wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight.
“We’ll get through this,” Mel whispered, joining in.
“We’re a team, remember? Nothing has changed. You’re back and we’re here to help you,” Catalina added. They were hugging tight until they heard someone yell out “cut them off.”
The four of them burst into laughter as they sat back down in their seats.
Serefina wiped her eyes and then looked up at her three old friends.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your good time.”
“Ruin it? Are you kidding me? This is the first of many nights we’re going to be hanging out. We’re going to help you get through this. It’s what you would do for any of us,” Catalina stated. They all smiled, and Serefina wondered if it were possible. Could her friends help her to move on and gain control of her emotions? Or was it simply too late?
* * * *
Ace walked into Sullivan’s with his brothers, Eddie, and Lance. The place was crowded as usual, but a call ahead of time saved them a corner booth in the back of the restaurant. They all said hello to their mother who greeted them with a huge smile as always.
They headed toward the booth and nodded hello to some other people they knew, and of course Ace saw the group of young women hanging by the bar staring at them. He shook his head. There were always women hanging around the restaurant day and night looking to land a firefighter. But the bunch of them weren’t biting tonight. Their shift was long and busy. They wanted to eat a good dinner, to blow off some steam, and then head home to bed for a good night’s sleep.
Before their drink orders came, platters of wings and nachos were brought out to the table by the waitress. They immediately dug in as their beers arrived next. The others were talking about the day while Ace spoke with Junior. Eddie was a good guy. He had hopes of filling his father’s shoes one day as chief of the firehouse.
Ace on the other hand was fine being a Lieutenant for now. He’d only arrived four years ago after his multiple tours in the Marine Corps. Being one of the oldest, most experienced in the group, he took his role seriously. Which was another reason why his brother Marco’s death hit him so hard. If his brother had only let him know that the arsonist had been haunting him, then maybe they would have handled entering that blaze a bit differently.
“So, what’s going on? Remembering how to be an overprotective brother is getting to you?” he teased and then took a bite of the boneless buffalo wing.
Junior chuckled then lowered his head shaking it. “It’s more than that. She’s been gone for more than five years. I guess I’m trying to make up for lost time. It’s just different.”
“Believe me, I can relate.”
“Oh yeah, how?”
“Look at these two boneheads I have to keep an eye on. If I don’t keep their asses in order, they wouldn’t make it to roll call.”
“Fuck you. Your rank doesn’t mean shit outside of the firehouse, bro,” Bull stated, and now Lance and Eddie chuckled.
Ace gave his brother a firm look. “The hell it doesn’t. I’m your lieutenant. That means I’m watching over you whether you like it or not, both on the job and off.”
“Got it, Lou,” Ice mumbled but never took his eyes off the two brunettes staring at him winking and waving.
Ace threw the napkin at Ice. “See what I mean. The man is thinking with the wrong head right now. I’m just going to remind him that roll call is early, and grabbing some more beers, hooking up with two chicks, and staying up all night is not a good idea.”
The others laughed.
“Hey, I’m human. They’re over there waving and blowing me kisses. What am I supposed to do, be rude like you, blowing off every possible piece of ass because they’re not good enough?”
“Not good enough? What’s this all about, Ace?” Lance asked.
“You pipe down there, lucky. My brother is full of shit.”
“Not so. You’re the pickiest bastard I know when it comes to women.”
“I just prefer a more sophisticated woman. Not some buff, trying to rack up points, or notches in her garter belts. You want to be a number on her wall, a guy she fucked just to say she did a firefighter from Engine 19?”
Ice looked back over at the two brunettes, who were winking and rubbing their hands up one another’s thighs. He turned back at the guys who saw the whole show.
“Hell yeah, Ace. I’ll take one for Engine 19.”
They all started laughing and the waitress brought over their steaks.
“Now this is the only piece of meat that’s on my mind right now,” Lance said as he rubbed his palms together. They continued to laugh, enjoying their friendship and being in this crazy profession together.
Chapter 5
After talking to her friends for hours the other night, and them sharing some of their thoughts and advice, she decided to do what they said. They mentioned her going back and engaging in activities she did when she first lived here. The things she enjoyed doing that gave her peace of mind. She had started off slowly yesterday morning, leaving the house and going for a walk down by the beach. After seeing the different runners using the jogging track, she decided that today she would do the same thing. Running always brought her peacefulness. It made her relax her mind and to think of meaningless things.
After she laced up her running sneakers and pulled her hair into a ponytail, she headed out toward the track that bordered most of the boardwalk. Once she came to the end of it, she ran on the sand, remembering this was what she always used to do when she was a teenager. The ocean air was cool this early in the morning, but the waves were small, the water much calmer than when high tide came in. As she headed toward the dunes, she saw a runner heading from the opposite direction. Her time alone on the open beach that led to the lighthouse was coming to an end.
She ran up the dune, planning on running to the lighthouse to avoid the runner’s path when her foot landed on something long and hard. She lost her balance and fell to the sand, bracing herself as something cut into her ankle. “Ouch,” she stated, recovering from the fall and looking down to see the damage. Her ankle was bleeding, a stick from an old wooden fence post used to line the sand dunes stuck out of the sand.
“Are you okay?” someone asked as she was dusting off her thighs.
She looked up. The bright sun was blocking her view of the man’s face. He was huge. Not just big, but wide like a linebacker, filled with muscles and tall. Taller than her brothers by inches.
“Yes, I’m okay.”
“You’re bleeding.” He leaned down and reached for her leg. The moment his fingers touched her skin and she locked gazes with his big blue eyes, she gasped. He was gorgeous to boot.
She pulled her leg away, and attempted to get up. He touched her shoulder, against her skin. She was shocked at her body’s reaction. “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you,” he stated.
She swallowed hard. “I’m fine. I didn’t see that damn wooden stick in the sand.”
He helped her get up, his hand was big enough to wrap around her arm and then some. Where the heck was he from anyway? She had never met a man so muscular, good looking, and tall. It was intimidating to say the least. She placed her hand over her eyes to shield away the sun.