Serefina thought about their size next.
Bull, Ice, and Ace were huge. That was the only way to describe them. They were tall, over six feet, and gorgeous. Ace was definitely older. That was another issue. She was twenty-three and he had to be in his thirties. Same for Ice and Bull. They were definitely in their thirties. So why would they be interested in a woman as young as her? Why would they want to share a woman?
That was assuming they wanted to share her.
She felt her cheeks warm, her nipples harden, and her pussy awaken just from the thought. Holy shit. This isn’t happening. I’ve never even considered such a relationship. Why would I now?
It was crazy but the idea of liking all three men felt natural. It didn’t seem so strange or ludicrous. Maybe because she knew such relationships existed, and especially around here. Hell, even back in North Carolina there were such relationships. But still it didn’t seem right. She shouldn’t forget about Matt so easily. It was wrong. She was a terrible person.
The tears hit her eyes as she looked at her reflection in the mirror.
“I don’t deserve three men. I shouldn’t even be alive. Why did you take Matt and not me?” she asked for the umpteenth time since the fire.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and her heart ached.
Serefina walked out of the bathroom and climbed back into bed. She heard her phone buzzing but she didn’t care. She felt confused and tired.
She lay on her bed in her shorts and tank top until she had no more tears left to cry. When she heard the knock at the door, she wanted to ignore it. But then she heard her mom’s voice.
“Come in!” she yelled, knowing her mom knew where the spare key was under the flowerpot by the door. A few seconds later she entered.
“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?” she asked, walking into the room carrying two travel mugs of coffee and a covered plate.
“Tired.” She sat up from the bed.
“How is the shoulder?” Her mom passed her one of the mugs of coffee.
“Hurts like a son of a gun,” Serefina replied and then took a sip from the mug while holding it with two hands.
The phone on her bedside table vibrated again.
“Who keeps calling me?” Serefina asked. Her mom walked closer, gently moved her daughter’s hair over, and looked at the bruise. She gasped and Serefina moved her hair back.
“I know. It looks ugly. I’ll be wearing blouses for weeks to cover that.”
“No, Serefina. I mean, yes, the bruising from the fall is bad but what about that scarring by the back of your neck and head?”
Serefina looked at her.
“Mom, when you, Dad, and the boys came out to see me after the fire and you were so worried and wanted me to come home, I kind of lied about the injury. It wasn’t just a bad cut. I was burned during the fire. I fell, on the landing, but flames shot up from below and singed my skin.”
“Serefina, why wouldn’t you tell us? I mean you hadn’t even explained what exactly happened and how you got out.” Her mom sat on the bed beside her.
She stared at her as tears filled her eyes. “Matt saved me.”
“Oh God, baby. Can you tell me about that night?”
Serefina shook her head.
“Maybe it might help you if you talk about it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Living through it was enough, Mom. I’m just confused right now. Or maybe feeling sorry for myself.”
“Feeling sorry for yourself? Why would you feel that?”
“I don’t know. I’m embarrassed by what happened yesterday at Sullivan’s. I think I’m going to call Florence and tell her to find someone else.”
“No, why would you do that? You were enjoying the job, and you seemed happy there.”
Serefina stood up and walked over toward the desk. She ran her finger over the picture frame and stared at Matt. Tears filled her eyes as she remembered the day that picture was taken. They were dressed up, and had attended one of his friend’s weddings. It was a beautiful day and an amazing wedding. They were dressed up and looked good together. Matt was older than her by five years. That thought instantly brought on thoughts of Ace, Ice, and Bull. They were even older. There were three of them, too.
“That’s a great picture. I wish you had told your father and I about Matt.”
She looked at her mom, suddenly feeling foolish and guilty. “Maybe if I had shared more about him with you, then you could understand why this is so hard for me. For months now, I felt like I couldn’t go on without him. It’s been like life isn’t worth living because I can’t share it with Matt. I had seen him in everything that I did, and whomever I spoke to back in North Carolina. I walked through life numb, hollow inside here.” She whispered, placing her hand over her heart.
“I came home in all honesty as a last resort to hold on. To give life a chance at getting better, and to not feel so hollow inside anymore.”
“Honey, sometimes things like this, tragedies, happen in life and there’s nothing we can do about them. No one is saying to forget about Matt. With time, it will hurt less and less. There’s no reason to feel guilty about that.” Serefina shook her head as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I loved him, Mom.”
Her mother reached for her hand and covered it. “I don’t understand.”
“I loved Matt. I thought that the pain, the fact that he was my everything would always make me feel so empty inside with his absence. And yesterday…yesterday was the first time I found myself feeling something for someone else.” Serefina sniffled.
“This is what has you so upset?” Her mom turned Serefina by her shoulders and looked at her. “You met someone that you’re attracted to and feel guilty because of Matt?”
“Baby, don’t you think Matt would want you to continue to live your life? Wouldn’t he want someone to take care of you and love you? I may not have met him, but from what you told me, and the fact that he saved your life so you could survive, says a lot. I think he would want you to be happy, not sad.”
Serefina shook her head. “I still feel guilty. Besides, this situation is different. Maybe I’m just trying to latch onto something else in the hopes of getting rid of the emptiness and pain I feel in here?” She placed her hand over her chest where her heart was.
“I doubt that very much. You’re not the kind of woman to pretend feelings or emotions for someone. You’re not a liar. It’s just part of the process of healing. I’m sure that moment, when you felt the attraction, it freaked you out. The last person you felt attracted to was Matt. It’s perfectly normal to have guilt, but it’s another thing to let life pass you by and to feel like you don’t deserve to love again, or to be with another man.”
“Oh God, Mom. How do I say this?” Serefina ran her hand through her hair and put the coffee mug down.
Her mom chuckled. “Let me help you out. You gave Matt your virginity.”
Serefina turned around and felt her cheeks warm. “Yes. That was a huge deal for me. We dated for months and I really loved him. We talked about getting married.”
Her mother smiled. “So it’s the intimacy thing you’re afraid of?”
“Definitely a yes on that one.”
“Well, starting over again will be the same thing. You wait until you have strong enough feelings.”
“Mom, that’s not what I’m getting at.”
“Then what? Just spit it out already.”
“Well, about feeling that attraction to someone else? It happened three separate times.”
Her mom stared at her. “I’m not understanding you.”
“Oh, Jesus.” Serefina threw her hands up in the air and blurted it out. “Three men. Brothers. A ménage!”
“Oh God!” Her mom gasped and then sat down on the bed covering her mouth.
“See. It just. Oh jeesh. Just forget about it. I’m not going to entertain it. I’m not going to talk to any of them again.”
“Florence’s sons? She was right. Holy shit, she was right,” her mom blurted out as she stood up.
“What do you mean?”
“Florence called me last night to check on you. She told me about what happened and how her sons reacted both prior to the incident and after. She had never seen them so taken by a woman before and immediately. Then she found out that each of her sons had met you and felt the same way. She said you met Ice on the beach the other morning when you cut your ankle. Then you met Ace at the café and he called Bull so he could meet you. Florence told me that her sons have been having a difficult time since Marco’s death.”
“Marco?”
“Their other brother. He died in a fire. I don’t know all the details, but the four of them were very close and shared everything.” Her mom covered her mouth. “And now they want to share you.”
“Oh God. I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with my mom.”
“Who the hell else can you have it with? Tasha, Mel, and Catalina?”
“Maybe.”
“No. I’m glad you talked to me about this. It’s not something to take lightly. Granted, I only know of a few such relationships that have grown and continued over the years, but I’m old school. There has only been your father for me. But I must admit, the idea of having multiple men catering to my every whim does have a bit of appeal. I would never be alone. If I were worried, there would be someone to worry with me. I can see the positives.”