Heart of the Raven(27)

       
           



       

"Hello, Cassie."

"Hi."

"How've you been?"

She intertwined her fingers to keep from reaching for him. "Fine,  thanks. How about you?" Inane prattle. Why are you here? What do you  want?

"I've been to hell and back, frankly. Can I sit down?"

"Sure." She straightened, curious. He didn't look bad. In fact he looked  incredibly good. Some of the lines were gone from his face. And he'd  cut his hair.

He didn't sit across from her but walked around the table and pulled up a chair next to her. He set a folder on the table.

"I went to see my parents."

"In New Hampshire?"

"Well, yeah."

"Why?"

"Because I needed to finally face losing Kyle."

She saw fresh grief in his eyes. It was all she could do not to hug him. "How did going home help you do that, Heath?"

His hands lay loosely in his lap. "About four years ago I designed a  school for their community-my community, a private school that would  serve a widespread area and be modern and comfortable, with central heat  and air-conditioning, a computer lab, the works, although simple in  many ways, too. They raised some of the money. I got them grants and  donated the design. But I wanted to do more."

He paused. "I bought them a school bus so the kids wouldn't have to trek through the snow and rain during the winter."

Cassie went very still. Bus accident. Kyle died in a bus accident. "How were they getting to school?"

"Most walked. A few, a very few, were driven. The parents protested the  gift. Didn't want it. Didn't need it. It hadn't hurt any of them as kids  to walk to school. It wouldn't hurt their kids, either. When the snow  is really bad, they stay home. No problem."

Cassie kept quiet, letting him tell her at his own pace.

"My ego was pretty big, though. Big-shot, successful architect, earning  awards, making a name for himself, comes home to the commune and wants  to improve their lives. I pushed and pushed and pushed until they  finally accepted the gift. Arrogance," he said it like a curse word.  "Unbelievable arrogance."

She couldn't help herself. She put her hands on his. She knew what was coming.

"Mary Ann, Kyle and I flew back for the opening of the school. MaryAnn  was ticked that I'd pushed so hard for the bus, saying we didn't need to  spend the money when they didn't want it, but I didn't let her have any  input. Still, she came along, good wife that she was, but not on the  bus ride. Kyle and I got on the bus at the beginning of the route so  that we could welcome every student aboard. I was proud. I wanted him to  be proud of me. 'Look what I did!'" He squeezed her hands. "A tire  caught the lip of the road and the bus tipped. It slid down an  embankment. Everyone survived except Kyle."

"Heath." She whispered his name in sympathy.

"I couldn't save him. He called for me in that last second, and I  couldn't save him." He leaned closer to her. "You wondered why I  wouldn't open the blinds in my house. It was part of my penance. I'd  built that house for him and Mary Ann. We'd finished it just before we  left on the trip and had only spent one night there. We didn't even have  all the furniture in yet. I loved the view. I bought the property  because of the view, designed the house to take advantage of it. I  decided that part of my punishment was to live in the house … and not  enjoy the view. This morning for the first time I opened the blinds in  my office."

Cassie framed his face. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." He reached for her hands, taking them away and setting them in her lap.

She didn't know what to make of that. He didn't even want her to touch  him? She reached for her briefcase, covering her confusion. Why did you  come, she wanted to ask, if you don't want me anymore?

"What's this?" he asked, tugging the envelope from under her. He smoothed it out.

She felt her face heat. "We're returning your check."

"Why?"

"I can't bill you, Heath."

His gaze was intense, direct, all-searching, his eyes a deep  forest-green, reminding her of his house, of the memories there, of her  short time with him, then he blinked and changed his demeanor  completely.

"I brought you something," he said, reaching for the folder.

She could see there was more in the folder, but he pulled out only one  item and passed it to her. A picture of her, Heath and Danny. "Oh!" She  ran her fingertips across the print, looked at him, then at the picture  again. "Thank you. Thank you so much."                       
       
           



       

"I didn't know if you would want it, if it would only make it harder for you. I decided you would want to have it."

"Yes. Yes, thank you." She smiled at it. "He was such a sweetie."

"I've been in touch with Brad. He's doing well. They've given him a different name, of course. Do you want to know it?"

"No. Not now, anyway."

"Okay." He settled into his chair, his body relaxed, but his eyes sharp and focused. "You look beautiful."

He flustered her. She knew she looked worn-out, not beautiful.

"Have you been sleeping?" he asked.

She looked toward the view of the bay again. "Sure."

"Don't start lying to me, Cassie. Not now."

She met his gaze. "No, not well."

"Keeping the light off during the night?"

She shook her head. No angel to kiss me good night.

He eyed her in silence, then he reached for his folder and pulled out a  sheet of paper, passing it to her. "You wanted a house designed."

Her heart raced as she took it from him. She studied it, her confusion growing by the second. "This is your house."

"With an addition."

"I don't understand." Did he want to sell her his house? Were there too many memories of Kyle there?

"We would call it Kyle's House," he said.

"We?"

He nodded. "It would be a haven, a place to feel safe. A place filled with noisy kids and laughter, as it was intended."

"We?" she repeated, her pulse thundering.

Leaning forward he took her hands in his. "I figured out why you left me so suddenly, so coldly."

"You did?"

"Because you love me."

Her eyes stung. "Doesn't make sense when you put it that way, does it?"

He smiled. "Not at first. I was angry and hurt, but eventually I came to  realize that you wanted me to find myself. That's such a sixties'  phrase, more suited to my parents, but it's true, isn't it? You wanted  me to find myself."

"Yes." The rough, dry word dragged along her throat.

"And you figured once I found myself I wouldn't want you anymore."

"I wanted you to live. That's all I was thinking."

"I don't think that was all, but I'll let that go for now. You probably  also think I couldn't possibly have found myself this quickly, that ten  days is too soon."

She nodded. He was right. She did think that, even though a huge part of her hoped otherwise.

"Do I come across as a man who doesn't know his own mind?"

"No. Never."

"Then believe me when I tell you that I love you."

Her emotions had been close to the surface since he'd walked in the  door. They began to spill over now. Her heart swelled, closing her  throat, bringing fresh tears.

"I want to raise children with you, ours and any others who are sent our way. I found myself with you, Cassie."

"And Danny."

"Danny, too, but I've been able to make a place for him that no longer  hurts. I helped him out during his first three weeks of life. Who knows  what Eva would've done if I hadn't been there? And then there was you.  Without Danny there wouldn't have been you."

She smiled. Her heart surged with love and hope.

"Can't you say the words?" he asked.

"I love you. I love you so much. I wasn't whole without you, either."

"Yet you sacrificed. For me."

"Yeah, well, I'm a helluva woman."

He laughed then kissed her finally, pulling her up so that they could  hold each other close, feel their bodies touching. When the kiss ended  and he held her against him, he said, "I'm going to visit the sites of  all the buildings I designed but haven't seen in person. I'd like you to  go with me. It will give us time together, time alone together. We'll  figure out the rest of our lives."

"I'm in."

The words were casual, but the bright shimmer in her eyes told him how deeply she felt.

"You gave me back my life, Cassie. Now I want to give you yours. Something new and exciting. And permanent."

She looped her arms around his neck. "Happily ever after?"

"Shall I tell you how it'll be?"

"Please do."

"Okay. Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, a cross between Rapunzel and Wonder Woman … ."