He gave her a look of disbelief, but would he call her on it?
"Do you drink coffee?" she asked quickly, not letting him take the conversation further.
"Yes."
Tension continued to build, evident in the way his back went straighter and he crossed his arms. His jaw twitched.
"Let's fill our plates here then take them outside," she said, undaunted. "Everything will get too cold otherwise."
She grabbed the carafe of coffee she'd already brewed, and added cream and sugar and maple syrup, placing everything on a tray. "Butter for your pancakes?" she asked lightly, as if not noticing how distant he looked.
"No. Thanks."
"Would you mind carrying the tray out? I'll fix our plates."
She nudged the edge of the tray against his midsection. He grasped the handles. "I know what you're doing," he said, his eyes almost a forest-green they'd darkened so much.
Well, she never thought he was stupid. "Is it all right?"
He made her wait an interminable amount of time. "I'm not sure yet."
She rubbed his arm. His warmth penetrated his sleeve to heat her palm. Her heart raced.
"This is a bad idea," he said quietly.
She pulled her hand back, disappointed but also surprised. She thought she'd begun to understand him.
"I don't mean your touching me," he said. "Although that's part of it … ." He let the sentence fade away. "I need you here. I don't want to do anything that would make you feel like you had to leave before everything is settled. I know you're here because of Danny."
"Partly," she said honestly. "I'm always a champion for kids. But … ."
"But?"
"There's you, too." She couldn't say more than that, because she didn't know what more to say. The jury was out on him. She only knew that she was drawn to him for a lot of complicated reasons and a few simple ones.
"I'm not attracted to you because I've been without a woman for so long," he said. "You need to know that. Women come and go in my life, business contacts, like you. I've never felt this-this need, especially this fast."
"So, we need to be careful."
"Yes," he said quietly.
"So, no touching."
He hesitated. "I don't want to make rules. Do you?"
No. She didn't need the guilt that would come if they broke any rules. She shook her head.
He seemed to relax all at once. "Okay. We'll take it slow and easy. Deal with the issues at hand first."
"Then when life settles down, we'll see where it goes from there," she said. Although he was wrong, she thought. "Slow and easy" wasn't going to work for them. The tension between them ratcheted up another notch hourly, it seemed. "Breakfast is getting cold."
Awkwardness accompanied the meal, not only because of their discussion but because he was sitting outdoors. As they finished their second cups of coffee she closed her eyes, wishing the sun could find its way through the gloom surrounding his house.
"What would you be doing today if you weren't here?" he asked.
"If I'm not working, I spend Sundays volunteering at the O'Connor Children's Home."
"What do you do?"
"I counsel mostly. Been-there, done-that kind of thing."
"They'll be missing you today. Maybe you should-"
"No. I called in already. They know they can't count on me every week. My job takes me out of town quite a bit, but it's also just a matter of working very long hours."
"You enjoy it, though."
"No question. ARC takes on such a variety of cases. Well, maybe that's not exactly it. It's the clients that make it so fascinating. Celebrities, executives, politicians-they have a high-powered list, and the work is rarely routine." She looked at him over the rim of her mug. "I heard you'd actually wanted my boss for your case."
"I generally get the person at the top."
"But you got me instead."
He toasted her. "Even better."
"Thanks."
"I don't think your boss would've moved in and helped out with the baby."
She thought he smiled. His eyes seemed to twinkle. "You wouldn't have asked him," she countered.
"True." He set his mug on the table and leaned back. "This has been nice."
"I'm glad."
"Were you worried?"
"Nah. I'm a pretty good cook when I set my mind to it." She smiled. She knew what he meant, but chose not to respond to it. Of course she'd been worried that he would balk at sitting outdoors, but worry never stopped her from doing what was necessary.
Through the portable baby monitor they heard Daniel fuss.
"I'll clean up the kitchen," Heath said. "You can get the baby."
She pushed back her chair. "You just don't want diaper duty."
He grinned.
Silence swooped in like a huge, noiseless, hovering bird. Her heart stopped. Triumph grabbed hold of her. She'd done that. She'd made him smile like that.
Now she needed to figure out how to do it again, and again, and again.
A couple hours later Heath wandered over to a window in his office and lifted a slat. He couldn't see Cassie and Danny, who were out enjoying a walk. Cassie had invited Heath along, but he wanted to use the time to get some work done. Or so he told her.
It was mostly true. He had plenty of work to do, although not much interest. That was a first.
He walked to the other end of the office and lifted a blind there then spotted her. She was standing still, although swinging side to side. Heath wondered if Danny was awake.
He dropped the slat and stepped away, tunneling his fingers through his hair. His jaw hurt. Everything hurt. Stress was his constant companion, although not for a few minutes now and then today.
Cassie relaxed him just by being there. Except when she aroused him just by being there.
If he joined her and Danny outside he might be able to touch her, to put a hand under her arm when she came up the stairs. She wouldn't pull away over a simple touch like that, would she?
He liked how she stood up to him, liked the fire in her eyes when she did-and the way her posture changed. She stood a little taller, put her shoulders back and her chin up. A sexy stance, emphasizing her breasts. Yeah, he definitely wanted to join them in their walk.
He made the decision too late. The front door opened and closed.
He went down the stairs anyway to greet them. Danny's eyes were open. She plopped him in Heath's arms, said, "I'll be right back," then headed toward the downstairs powder room.
He watched her until she disappeared, his gaze on her very sexy rear. He imagined his hands there, lifting her higher against him as they kissed-
He stopped the thought cold. Ideas like that could only lead to complications.
"Did you enjoy your walk?" he asked his tiny son, turning toward the living room, his attention solely on Danny. He didn't see any yellow tinge to Danny's complexion. The open drapes made it seem almost as if they were outdoors, which had been his original goal when he designed the house for the property, and why he'd named it Raven's View. He didn't focus on the surroundings, however, but on Danny. "She's something, isn't she?" he whispered to the boy. "A natural-born mom. And one beautiful woman."
Danny arched his back. His tiny hands came out from under the blanket. He tucked them under his chin. Heath bent down and kissed the little fingers curled into fists, then his forehead, then each cheek, as his baby scent imprinted on Heath's brain. An image of Kyle flashed in his mind. His eyes burned. His throat ached. He barely remembered him as an infant, an unbearably sad realization. As a little boy he'd had hair as blond as Mary Ann's, but Heath's nose and mouth and green eyes.
Heath would've liked to compare the brothers, but he couldn't because Mary Ann had taken all the photo albums, leaving him nothing. Nothing except memories, and those were tainted by the final one. Dad-dy! Kyle's voice haunted him. Would always haunt him.
"Did you get some work done?"
Cassie had come up beside him.
He didn't want her to see him like this, but he couldn't escape, either. He lifted his gaze to her.
"Oh. Oh, Heath."
The sympathy in her eyes was like a gut punch. She lifted a hand. He pulled back. Pushy as always she didn't back away. After a second she stroked his hair, her touch soothing. Too soothing. He didn't want to break down with her. He hadn't broken down. It was going to be ugly when-if-he did.
"Don't," he said quietly.
As usual she didn't listen to him. She went up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his, lightly, just a brush, really. He cupped the back of her head as she would have pulled away and drew out the kiss a little bit longer, then he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him, so that her head rested against his shoulder. Ah, the simple pleasure of human touch, of human warmth. It had been so long. So very long.