Heart of Dixon(26)

Here I lay in my bed, in the Bahamas, bawling my eyes out over Dixon Fucking Beaumont. The world’s biggest douchebag, heartbreaking man-whore! How the hell is it possible to love and loathe someone so strongly at the same damn time?

Then there’s Jax, who has the biggest heart and always there when I need him. Sure, he doesn’t make my heart beat out of my chest when we’re together but he can please me just as good in the bedroom. Shouldn’t that be what matters the most? Having a guy who’s loyal and also amazing in bed? Who needs butterflies, and dancing hearts to be happy with a guy?

Maybe I’ll say: 'Screw all men,' and go back to my old ways of working my ass off in the day and meaningless hookups at night. Life was a whole lot simpler that way. Maybe moving to Texas was a mistake. I thought moving with Savannah would be an adventure down a new path for us full of possibility, but in the end, it’s been my undoing. The idea of moving back to Los Angeles is looking very appealing at the moment.

I’m too exhausted and too spent from crying to think anymore. I’ll decide what to do once we return to Houston. For now I need to try and sleep and forget about Dixon. If only I could forget ever meeting him and especially forget ever falling in love with him.



Between all the wine I drank last night and staying up late with Savannah while watching a Nightmare on Elm Street marathon, I woke up today feeling like road kill that’d been run over a good dozen times. After an extra-long hot shower, I popped a few aspirins before working up the courage to drag my ass downstairs for coffee. Thankfully everyone was asleep still but Jax, who was sitting outside reading emails on his phone while drinking his coffee. We spent almost a half hour out on the deck enjoying the peacefulness of this place.

After finishing my coffee, I asked Jax to join me down on the beach for a stroll and to look for some unique seashells. I’ve collected them since I was little and found some pretty amazing ones since we’ve been here. Jax was super sweet putting all my shells in his cargo shorts pockets until we went back up to the house to clean them.

Thankfully, he never brought up the topic of Dixon because I’m not in the mood to discuss Dixon and me...us...not that there is really an 'us' anyway. That is why I like Jax so much. Because he’s very laid back and chill. He goes with the flow and takes life as it comes. He doesn’t stress over every little thing, and he’s really good at reading people. It must be from his days in the Australian military because it feels like he knows exactly when and when not to pry.

Not long after we had returned from the beach, everyone else began to wake up. Just as Kayden and Savannah came strolling down the stairs, someone rang the doorbell at the back entrance of Kayden’s house. I practically dry humped Kayden’s leg when two masseuses walked through the door with massage tables telling us they were here for massages down by the water. Savannah was beaming as we followed the women down onto the beach with our tiny white robes on a few minutes later.

I so needed that massage after last night. Kayden has no idea how grateful I am to him today for that special treat and for this mini weekend getaway. Sure, it's not been the greatest with the few minor bumps I’ve had with Dixon. Though, overall, it's been an amazing getaway with my best friend.

Right now, we’re all outside enjoying the last few hours of paradise we have. I’ve spent the last hour in the pool floating and tanning but feeling the need to warm up in the hot tub.

Savannah and Kayden are working on getting everything together for s’mores down on the beach. Kayden, Jax, and Dixon are supposed to start building a big bonfire in the next hour or so once the sun gets closer to setting.

Climbing out of the pool I run up the wooden stairs leading up to the large wrap around deck where the hot tub is. I fire up the jets and reach into the outdoor fridge at Kayden’s massive grilling area grabbing a bottle of Twisted Tea. Popping the top off I toss the cap into the trashcan before finally climbing into the hot tub. Just as I’m sinking down into the water and bring my drink to my lips to quench my thirst, Dixon comes strolling out onto the deck in nothing but board shorts.

I almost choke on my drink as I watch him stop in the doorway and lift his arms, stretching as the warm sun glistens across his insanely defined body. Holy hot! He’s attempted to try and talk to me all morning and afternoon, but I’ve given him the silent treatment all day, not once giving in and speaking a single word to him. He went too far last night.

Dixon is going to know by the time we leave here this evening, I’m not fucking around. The damn games between us are over. I’m beyond pissed off at him. I will not let him see me weak and broken ever again. That was the first and the last time I will ever cry over Dixon.

Dropping his arms down to his sides and resting his hands on his hips, he turns toward me after sensing me beside him. We’re a good six feet away from each other, but the electric charge between us is strong enough to jolt the breathe straight out of my lungs. I bring the bottle back to my lips, taking a long pull, as I attempt to distract myself. I divert my eyes towards the water below...hoping he’ll go away. It’s taking every ounce of self-control I have to not fly out of this hot tub and go all Kung Fu Ninja on his fucking ass.

‘It’s only a few more hours’ I keep repeating to myself. Then we’ll fly back to Texas and go our separate ways. If I’m lucky, I’ll never see his ass ever again. God, now all I can think about is his hot ass...naked. Why does he have to have such a nice ass? I seriously hate him so, so much right now. But at the same time, that overwhelming love I feel inside of me for him is still prominent too, making my head spin.

“Brooklyn. I didn’t know you were up here. I thought you were still down in the pool, tanning.”

I stare blankly at him as he speaks, not making a sound or even nodding my head. He doesn't deserve a response from me after the shit he pulled last night...parading more of his slew of skanks around and screwing them right in the same house...near my freaking room! I may seem like the biggest bitch right now, but I really don’t care.

It hurts too much to look at him. I turn my head back towards the water and sink further into the hot tub, leaving only my head out of the water. I hear his feet approaching the hot tub, and it makes my breathing accelerate and my body tingle with fear, lust, and anger. It’s a dangerous concoction to be feeling right now, especially when I’m holding a glass beer bottle that my brain keeps saying ‘Bash it over the fuckers head. Make him hurt like you hurt!’ But, of course, I don’t, because I’m not that crazy.

I hear him let out a deep sigh, making it apparent he’s getting frustrated with my silent treatment. I have to force myself not to smile because I’m enjoying this show of making him feel like shit way too much right now.

“Brooklyn, come on! You can’t ignore me forever. I don’t understand why you’re so pissed off at me. We’ve been nothing but two people who’ve fucked a few times. Savannah and Kayden have enough on their plate right now they don’t need to worry about this, with all of us together because you’re acting like you have a raging case of fucking PMS.”

Oh, fuck him and the rusty ass pole I’m two seconds away from jamming up his ass.

Taking him by surprise I swipe kick my feet hard splashing water all over him. “Fuck off, Dixon. Take a freaking hint! I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk. To. You.” I say slowly and with an extra dash of bitch just to prove my point. “I’m not PMSing, you asshole. Now get the fuck away from me before you end up going to the ER for stitches because I bash your head in with my beer bottle.”

I’m fuming right now. He’s lucky we’re not alone because I’d say a whole lot worse and keep my promise of beating his ass. But I don’t want to upset Savannah, so I’m going to behave myself.

Dixon opens his mouth to speak, but I shout into the house startling him and causing his mouth to snap shut quickly.

“Jax! Come join me in the hot tub! I need my snuggle buddy to soak with me.” I slide my gaze from Jax in the living room back to Dixon and give him the biggest, brightest smile I can muster before sinking back comfortably in the water. Jax is outside in a matter of seconds kicking his flip flops off climbing in beside me.

“You gettin’ in, Dixon?” Jax asks as he drapes his arm behind my head.

He looks from me to Jax and runs his fingers through his hair. “Nah, I’m going to do some fishing off of the pier for a bit. Yell at me when y’all are ready to build the bonfire.”

“Will do, bro. Catch us some nice fish to fry up while you’re down there.”

Forcing a smile, Dixon says, “That’s the plan, bro. See ya in a bit.”

As Dixon is turning to walk towards the long stairway leading down to the beach, I move fluidly across the water rolling onto my stomach before gripping Jax’s shoulder, pulling myself onto his lap so that I’m straddling him. I bite my lip as I run my hands over his shoulders, spreading water over them. He is extremely sexy and the perfect distraction from Dixon. Plus I know it’ll piss Dixon off, so it’s a win-win for me.

“Thanks for joining me. I was getting lonely,” I tell him seductively as my hands begin to trail over his pectorals that are glistening with water droplets.