"When Ferris got sick, I shouldn't have kept the children here. It was just so nice having a family that I didn't want to part with them. She's sick because I was selfish."
"They wouldn't have been any safer running around with me."
"We should have found someplace else for them to stay."
We. He was glad she wasn't taking all the blame. "That wouldn't have been easy, Jane. Almost every family has someone down with this stuff. And may I remind you, most of them are recovering."
"I know. I believe you. But it's easy to be frightened. Especially when you're not here."
He smiled a very self-satisfied smile he hoped she couldn't see in the dark. "Well, I'm here. So stop worrying."
She fell silent, making no promises, he noticed.
"When I was Peggy's age," he said sometime later, "I would have jumped at the chance these children have, to come out west and find a family. By the time I was Johnny's age, I had convinced myself I was better off without one. I think that's how Johnny felt when he first came here."
It didn't occur to him until he said it that he still wanted the family he had dreamed of as a little child. And that family was right here in this house.
"I think Johnny's afraid to hope for love for fear of being disappointed," she said.
"I suspect he's coming around."
He had piqued her curiosity, which was his intent. "What did you two talk about?" she asked.
"Oh, we struck a couple of bargains."
She scowled at him. He wasn't sure how he knew in the low light, but he did. She turned after a moment, wet the cloth and smoothed it back over Peggy's forehead, evidently deciding not to ask.
He was dying to tell her what Johnny wanted. It would be smarter to try his own proposal first, though. Proposal. Over a sick child in the dark. To a woman who had already said she didn't believe he loved her. And Jane thought she was scared.
Before he had decided on the proper approach, Jane said, "You can have the house."
The change of subject was so baffling it took him a moment to even ask her to repeat it.
"You can have the house. My boarders left yesterday. I won't be able to make the next payment."
"You think I want your house?" He was so incredulous he forgot to keep his voice down.
Peggy tried to sit up. "Docka Hart?"
"Right here, honey." He lifted her onto his lap. She was slightly warmer than she should be, but nothing like some of the cases he'd seen.
"Peggy's Docka Hart," the little girl said.
"That's right, honey." He was surprised to find a lump in his throat "Maybe you're right," he said to Jane. "Maybe I do want this house. But I can't imagine it without you in it. Or my life without you, either."
"You, either," Peggy mimicked. She yawned, then coughed, whimpering at the soreness in her throat.
Jane passed him the glass of water, and he got her to swallow a few sips before passing it back.
"What I'm getting at," he said, very softly, "is I'm in love with you. I think I fell in love with you even before Doreena was wise enough to break our engagement."
Jane's voice was even softer than his had been. It was almost a hiss. "If that's true, if you loved me, why would you keep me from getting Peggy?"
"I was afraid you'd work yourself into exhaustion."
She was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Are you still?"
"Oh, certainly," he said without hesitation. "But I've seen a good many mothers the last few days. It seems to go with the territory."
"So what are you saying?"
Adam stood and eased Peggy back onto the bed. "We're not helping Peggy, we're just keeping her awake. Let's move into the kitchen."
Jane was reluctant to follow him. She fussed with Peggy's covers until Adam took her arm and drew her out of the room. He suspected she was less worried about Peggy at the moment than what he had to say. He directed her to a chair at the table and moved another. close to her.
"I'm saying," he began, "that I was wrong. Peggy's yours and should have been from the beginning. I told George to stop advertising for families right after we met Mr. and Mrs. Dobbs."
He was glad Peggy was sleeping in the next room. It kept Jane from yelling at him. Her voice still conveyed her anger. "That was more than a week ago, Adam."
"Johnny was the problem by then," he said. "I won't go into detail, but there was an incident that gave me serious doubts about him."
"Johnny? He's just a boy like any other."
Adam had to laugh at her assessment. "No, I think he's a little unusual. But he and I have come to an understanding."
"You said 'bargains' before. Are you going to tell me?"
"Yes, I need to do that." Adam found himself smiling again. "But first I want to ask you to marry me."
She looked a little more stunned than he had expected. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
"You want to marry me? Even after I said I didn't trust you?"
"I'm hoping you'll learn to trust me."
"I do, Adam. I was wrong before, and my grandmother lied to me." She waved her hands in front of her. "Never mind that. Why do you want to marry me?"
"For the house, of course." He grabbed her hand, laughing. "I'm teasing. Jane, I love you. I need to be able to come home to you."
Tears came to her eyes, and he felt a wave of alarm. He had messed this up before; he didn't want to do it again.
He was immensely relieved when she threw herself across the small space between them. He treated himself to a kiss while he had her on his lap. She. was a willing participant and the kiss turned slow and seductive. It almost made him forget what else he wanted to tell her.
When she finally sat back she was breathless. She smiled a little shyly. He thought she was beautiful. "I suppose I should admit," she whispered, "that I've been in love with you for quite a while, too."
He grinned. "Yeah, I know."
She opened her mouth in mock outrage. "How would you know that?"
"Johnny told me. My marrying you was one of the bargains we struck." Her outrage was starting to look real. He added quickly, "I had already decided to ask you at the earliest opportunity. Your greeting tonight was very encouraging. Feel free to throw yourself at me anytime you want."
She chewed on her lower lip. "You better tell me all the bargains."
He tore his eyes away from her tempting lips. "His first request was that I spend the night here to keep Peggy safe and to keep you from worrying. In exchange he's never going to steal again, which will be hard on him since he's convinced he's quite good at it"
"Steal. When did he ever steal anything?"
Adam scratched his cheek, which was starting to feel a little rough. "That's the second thing. I'm not supposed to tell you."
"And that's when you struck a bargain to marry me?"
Adam laughed. "Johnny thought if I spent the night, it would be the right thing to do."
"Oh, but." He watched her cheeks turn pink, enjoying every second of it. "He's just a boy," she said, but she looked toward the parlor as if she wasn't so sure.
"He's had to grow up too fast. He doesn't want you to get the reputation his mother has."
"Has? He's an orphan." She glanced again toward the parlor, probably thinking, as Adam did, that there was a lot yet to learn about Johnny.
Adam shook his head. "He overheard his mother and her boyfriend plan to leave Peggy on a busy street across town. They were going to keep Johnny because his job. and other activities were bringing in a few cents. He took his sister and ran."
Adam watched Jane's face as she tried to imagine what the children had been through. Of course, Peggy's early behavior had already given her a few clues.
But they had strayed from the subject, and he didn't have his answer yet. "So. Will you marry me?"
She brought her attention back to him and a smile slowly spread across her face. "I want to sleep on it."
"Sleep on it?"
Jane watched Adam's handsome face register bewilderment, as if he thought she might turn him down. She took his face between her hands, feeling uncommonly bold, and whispered mere inches from his lips, "Let's sleep on it."
Realization dawned slowly and quite readably. He took her lips in a quick kiss and pulled her to her feet.
A hand on his chest stopped him from kissing her again. "Is it all right to leave Peggy?"