“I love you, Sam Hudson. I always have,” she answered with a smile in her voice.
“We’re getting married. Soon.” He pulled her tighter against him and grunted with satisfaction as her warm body melted into him. “Don’t move.”
“I think you’re the most stubborn man on the planet,” she said indignantly.
“You love me. You know you do,” he grunted.
“Yeah. I do,” she breathed softly against his shoulder.
Damn. Her answer is so much better than Simon’s.
Sam yawned, his eyes fluttering closed. He could feel the tempo of Maddie’s breath slowing against his shoulder, knowing she was falling asleep. He lay there for a moment, his eyes closed, savoring the feel of happiness and inner peace, and then he slept.
Chapter 14
Several days later, Sam entered Maddie’s silent house, flipping on the lights as he went, determined to make it back to his house before she arrived home from work. He was cooking a special dinner for her and he had finally found the perfect ring to put on her finger, a heart-shaped diamond surrounded by smaller stones and set in platinum. He had picked it up from the jeweler today, and he was eager to put it on her finger, branding her as his forever.
Looking around her cozy home, he could almost feel the warmth of her personality flowing through the living room, and he was positive he could scent her essence in the air.
This house feels like Maddie.
He wandered the home for a few moments, taking in the mementos and figurines she must have collected through the years, things that would soon find a resting place in his house.
She makes my house feel like a home.
Maddie had stayed with him since his accident, catering to his every need except the most urgent one. He wanted her so badly, needed to bury himself inside of her warmth so desperately, that he was restless and edgy. His body was healed. Although he was still black and blue in some places, he didn’t hurt anymore. The only thing aching was his cock, and Madeline was the only person who could take care of that particular ailment, one he planned on curing tonight before he went completely insane.
Making his way to her bedroom, he pocketed Maddie’s daily planner and some earrings from her jewelry box. There were a several personal items that she had wanted before the movers came the next day, and he tracked down every one of them, stopping in a small bedroom that had been made into a makeshift office and library. He grabbed the novel she was currently reading and turned to leave when his attention was caught by a large collection of untitled books on one of the shelves. Curious, he pulled one out and looked at the cover.
Madeline’s Journal - 1998
Flipping the cover open, he looked at the writing, knowing it was penned by Maddie’s hand. He’d never known Maddie had kept a journal, and it was obviously a habit she had followed for years. There were at least thirty journals on the shelves. The entries were sporadic. Sometimes she went for several months without writing anything, and sometimes something was entered every day. He was about the close the book when one particular entry caught his eye.
I lost my virginity today. Lance and I have been dating for five months and I honestly didn’t feel I could deny him anymore. I wish I had. It hurt, and even though it only lasted a few minutes, it seemed like forever. I just lay there and prayed for the whole experience to be over. Lance didn’t tell me he loved me. He never has, and I really don’t think he actually does. Why am I in this relationship? Am I so desperate to forget Sam, so incredibly lonely that I’m settling for something I really don’t want? I feel so damn confused. I hate Sam Hudson, yet as I was hoping for a quick end to my first sexual experience, all I could think about was the fact that it should have been Sam.
Sam’s jaw clenched as he read, his fingers tightening on the journal as he read the next entry two weeks later.
I broke it off with Lance. I couldn’t take it. Other women think I’m insane because he’s handsome, wealthy and popular on campus, but that doesn’t matter to me. All I know is that I can’t bear for him to touch me anymore. I have to get totally drunk to even let him have sex with me. It doesn’t feel right. It isn’t right. Maybe sex is good for other women because most of my classmates rave about it, but it isn’t for me. Lance told me I’m not a sexual woman and that I’m cold and frigid. Maybe he’s right, but I can’t help but think that he just isn’t the right guy. Anyway, I’m done with sex. Until I can find a guy who makes me feel the way that Sam used to make me feel, I’m not having sex again. It makes me feel so lonely and hopeless, even worse than actually being alone.