And frankly, neither are long-distance relationships. When I was eighteen, I was dating a guy named Tom, and he cheated on me after he went off to state college. Granted, I was kind of relieved, since it meant I didn't have to keep spending hours on the phone each night listening to how much he missed me, but still . . .
And Mike is going to have so much more opportunity than a frat house at state college. He's going to have girls literally lining up. They'll be in single-file outside of his clubs. They'll be screaming his name in the front row of his shows. They'll be standing outside of his bus, in short skirts and skimpy tops.
"What would giving us a shot entail?" I surprise myself by asking, and even though I haven't answered yet, Mike is already smiling.
"Let me date you," he says. "Don't date anyone else while I'm gone. Just me."
"You'll be on the other side of the world," I point out, and he brushes his fingers over my arm, sending goose bumps dancing over my skin.
"I could be on the other side of the universe, Hailey, and it wouldn't keep me from you."
Butterflies swarm in my stomach at the sincerity in his words, at the promise in his eyes, and in spite of my dry throat, I nod and manage a tiny "Okay."
"Okay?" he asks with hope glinting in his eyes.
This is probably the wrong decision. I'm probably going to regret it. But I started falling for Mike Madden the moment I made him laugh beside me on his tour bus, and I don't have the strength to break my own heart. Not today, not with his eyes shining with happiness, not when I'm the one who put it there.
"Okay," I say again, and Mike seals the promise with a kiss that wraps itself around my worries and makes them disappear. They'll matter tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, but for now, this morning, there is only Mike Madden-rock star, gamer, pizza lover, drumstick twirler, beer drinker, sex god.
My boyfriend.
We'll have to say goodbye soon, but for better or worse, I know this is just the beginning.
Chapter 36
Dee: Hailey, please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD tell us you had mind-blowing sex with Mike last night.
Rowan: And that you two weren't axed to death in the woods. . . .
Dee: Mike's truck was missing!
Rowan: Maybe the axe murderer took it.
A schoolgirl smile consumes my face as I sit alone in Mike's empty house and type back, I had mind-blowing sex with Mike last night.
Dee: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
Rowan: OMG!
Kit: Why am I in this conversation?
My face flames hot as I realize it's more than just me, Dee, and Rowan in this group text.
Unknown number: YASSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Me: Who is that?
Unknown number: HOW CAN I BE A PROPER FAIRY GODFRIEND WHEN NO ONE KNOWS WHO I AM?
Dee: Calm your tits, Leti.
Rowan: Is your car still in the parking lot back at the woods, Hailey?
Kit: Hailey, did Mike leave yet?
I finish plugging "unknown number" into my phone as Leti, and then I rub a line between my eyes and tell Rowan that yes, my car is still back at the woods, and Kit that yes, Mike just left. I know he's running late, since we dragged our goodbye out longer than we should have, but it hurt to let him go, and I could tell how much he struggled with leaving.
He gave me a key to his house before he left, insisting that he wanted me to have it just in case Danica kicked me out again. And then he told me that he'd be performing in a time zone two hours behind me tonight, and promised to call me before his show. He offered to make himself even later by taking me to pick up my car, but I insisted I could find someone else to take me, so he left me with a kiss that lingered against my lips, and I stood in his driveway watching his truck disappear down the road.
Me: Rowan, can you pick me up from Mike's place?
Rowan: Already on my way.
In Mike's shower, I let the water wash the scent of him from my skin, and my eyes begin to sting. He's going to be gone a month and a half, and my heart already aches at the thought of it. I remember how hard it was when I avoided him for the week after I realized I'd developed a crush on him, and now I have to multiply that by six.
At least we'll be able to talk on the phone . . .
I close my eyes under the water and see the way he smiled at me this morning as he lay beside me, playing with my hair. I won't see him again for six weeks. I won't feel his fingertips on my skin or his mouth on my lips, and after learning how good those things feel, it hurts. He's only been gone for forty minutes, and my entire body already aches from missing him.
When I answer Rowan's knock on the door, my hair is still wet and I'm wearing my borrowed leggings from last night under one of Mike's smallest T-shirts. I'm swimming in it, but it wraps itself comfortingly around me in spite of the hole in my chest and the stinging in my eyes. Rowan stands on his doorstep, taking in the sight of me before wrapping me in a tight hug.
Her eyes looked red like she'd been crying on the way here, so I hold her just as tightly. "He'll be back soon," I assure her of Adam, and she nods against my cheek.
"Mike too."
When she pulls away, she gives me a sad smile and wipes a tear from my cheek that I hadn't realized had spilled there.
"Is it always this hard?" I wonder, and she nods as she finishes drying my skin with her thumb.
"Every time."
"But you make it work?"
She nods and wipes her fingers under her own damp eyes. "It's worth it."
"How is Dee?"
Both of the girls are in the same position-left behind while Adam and Joel tour the world. Shawn is the only one who didn't have to leave someone, since Kit is part of the band.
Rowan gives another weak smile, her normally dark denim-blue eyes a shade brighter with unshed tears. "She can't really talk about it. But she'll be okay." She picks at my T-shirt, a teasing grin sneaking onto her face. "I'm pretty sure details about last night would be just the distraction she needs." I blush furiously, and Rowan laughs as she squeezes me in another hug. "I'm so happy for you."
I want to tell her that Danica is going to kill me, that dating her ex is a terrible idea, and that I'm pretty sure I've made a huge mistake. Instead, I force a smile when she pulls away, and I try to stop falling apart.
In her blue Honda Accord, she doesn't press me for details about what happened after Mike and I left the party last night. Instead, we talk about the video shoot, we talk about Dee's dress, we talk about how she met Leti and how Leti ended up dating Kit's brother. I laugh when she tells me the story of her and Adam-how she, Leti, and Adam were all in the same French class, and how everyone in the world, including Leti, had swooned over Adam Everest. But Rowan and he had history, and when they were forced to spend a weekend on tour together, they both fell and they both fell hard. Their story is one made for books, and I find myself asking how Dee got with Joel, and how Kit got with Shawn. Rowan gives me all the details over strawberry pancakes at IHOP, and when we're finally on the way to pick up my car, she turns to me and asks, "Hailey, can I be really honest with you?"
I nod, and Rowan gazes back out at the road.
"When I went on tour with the band after meeting Adam, Mike was the first one of the guys to really make me feel welcome. I was so out of my element, and I think he could tell, because he went out of his way to make sure I felt comfortable and safe." She glances over at me, and the serious look in her eyes ensures I pay close attention. "Mike is one of the nicest, most considerate, most hilarious, most selfless guys I know. He's not like other guys, Hailey. He's special."
I simply stare back at her, silently agreeing with everything she's saying.
"Anyway," she continues, looking back out at the road, "after one of the shows that weekend when I was on tour with them, he and I went to this little pizza shop and got a pizza, and we somehow ended up talking about his ex-girlfriend."
I swallow hard, and Rowan asks, "He said her parents owned a pig farm that had a strawberry patch?"
I nod, confirming that he was talking about Danica.
"We talked about her for a little bit, and I eventually asked Mike why none of the guys had girlfriends. I wanted to know why Adam didn't have one, and he told me that Adam, Shawn, and Joel didn't want one." I crack an amused smile, since they have all very clearly changed their minds, and Rowan mirrors it before she says, "But do you know what Mike said about himself?"
I wait for her answer, and she holds my gaze. "He said he hadn't found the right girl yet."