Hate to Love You(70)

I pointed at the bathroom, signalling for him to turn off the light and stay hidden. He saluted like a soldier and scampered inside. My back hit the nearest wall and I stared into the dark. This was where I kissed my chances with Ryan goodbye forever. They don’t let minors into jail for visits, do they? If James caught me violating the restraining order, and in his bedroom no less...

Panicked sweat pooled under my wig as I listened to the voices in the sitting room.

What the hell?

I would recognise that snobbish, falsely cultured voice anywhere. It was Caroline. I was nonplussed until I remembered she was married to James’s cousin. It was Francesca’s sixtieth birthday party so it made sense she be invited along with the rest of the family.

But why was she here with James?

This warranted risking a peek. I peeled myself off the wall and edged closer to the door, peering through the gap. Caroline and James faced each other in front of the three-seater sofa. James’s expression was wary and Caroline’s looked as coldly beautiful as I remembered, harder, but still poised and classy. Her hairstyle was different though; it was cut man-short, making her look like Annie Lennox. In one hand she held a glass of red wine and she clutched something in the other, but I couldn’t make out what it was.

Caroline surveyed James’s flat like she used to our mother’s kitchen. “You should bring Paisley here,” she said. “She would enjoy a step up from the council flat she probably lives in.”

I whipped my eyes to James. He looked as startled as I was and Caroline...well, she looked as though she was shifting gears, accelerating straight from spiteful cow to vicious bitch. I recognised her attack expression and braced myself.

“Reginald told me Paisley is your new secretary,” she said, dripping disgust. “I see you’re happy to continue your sordid affair with my doppelgänger. She obviously meets your poor professional standards and your vulgar personal tastes.”

James didn’t lose his cool. “Why did you want to talk to me? I’m co-hosting tonight.”

“You’re not even going to deny it, are you?” she said angrily. “You never felt bad about what you did to me. Humiliating me, sleeping with my sister when I thought you were faithful. Making me a laughing stock on my wedding day.”

James’s long sigh sounded resigned. “Of course I did, as I told you many times.”

“You said you wanted Paisley more than you loved me.”

“That is not what I said.”

Oh? Well what the hell had he said? I waited, breath hitched.

Caroline tossed her head back. “I told you how promiscuous Paisley was but you didn’t listen. She slept with anybody who would give her money and then she blackmailed them. She did as much to our uncle Manuel before she was fifteen, luring him into sex with her slutty ways.”

Instant, debilitating shame ploughed through me. I clutched at my abdomen as sharp cramps clenched me tight. I hadn’t thought about Manuel in a long time but now the past flooded back, dark and terrifying. Locked doors and heavy hands on my head, holding me in place. Why had Caroline told James about Manuel? He was the last person I wanted to know about my uncle’s abuse.
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I wanted to retreat to a place that didn’t fill me with anguish but couldn’t, so I tied myself to James’s face instead, concentrating all my energy on his strong jaw and wrathful green eyes.

Hold on a second...wrathful?

James’s brows were drawn into a furious V, his fists clenched as if he wanted to punch something. The childish part of me hoped it was Caroline.

“My aunt Isabel almost left Manuel because of Paisley. He was besotted,” Caroline said.

James’s nostrils flared. “Then he’s a pervert who should be locked away.”

Caroline recoiled, suddenly aware that James’s disgust wasn’t directed at me. I shrank back also, surprised at his reaction.

“Never mind that,” Caroline said. “Everybody knew what Paisley was and how she supported herself in London when she ran away. You were just another deluded man in a long, disgusting line of customers who paid for her services. Pathetic, really.”

James’s eyes glinted. “I was Paisley’s first.”

“And you loved telling me how much you’d enjoyed it, didn’t you?” she spat.

“You goaded me into saying it,” he said quietly.

Caroline narrowed her eyes. “Do you realise how humiliated I felt when you couldn’t...perform?”

Huh? My roller coaster ride of emotions swung around another loop. Shame over my past with Manuel was replaced by happiness that James had never slept with Caroline. I still felt queasy though. There really is such a thing as too much information and I wished I didn’t have to hear the sordid details of their honeymoon.