"Not anymore," Roan added, his tone still rough with disappointment.
"Right. Not anymore." Because Seg had announced to the world-and all of his teammates-that he was gay.
He still didn't know how things were going to go at practice tomorrow. Hell, he might end up boycotted from the arena by the same guys he'd considered family for all these years. Seg wasn't sure which he was more scared of. Them ousting him … or them accepting him.
He'd spent so long pretending to be someone he wasn't in order to appease everyone else. The idea that all this hiding could potentially be behind him filled him with as much fear as elation. No one knew how this would play out.
Locking eyes with Roan, he held the man's stare.
He now had someone to live for. Someone who didn't deserve to be in the dark with him. He wanted the world to know that he was in love with Roan.
"So, you talked to Phoenix?"
Seg nodded, holding Roan's gaze. "I did. He was dragged into this mess because of my stupidity. Plus, I'd intended to talk to him before this happened." Seg knew that if he'd done that, they probably wouldn't be in this position.
Looking back on it now, it was easy to say that he'd been an idiot for not trusting Phoenix in the first place. He should've done what he'd originally intended and he could've bypassed all this pain. For himself and everyone around him.
"And your mom?" Roan's eyebrows lifted in question. "Is she doing okay?"
Seg liked that Roan was concerned about his mother. He was close to her, and knowing that Roan would be the type of man who would worry about her the same way he did gave him a sense of peace. It was another reason he loved this man.
"I sent her home. I didn't want her getting mixed up in all of this."
It wasn't as simple as sending her back to the house he'd grown up in, but Seg knew that having her here wouldn't help matters any. Mostly because she wouldn't be able to hold her tongue. With reporters practically camped out on his porch, she would've eventually lost her cool, and Seg didn't want her to go off on a tangent. Not that she wouldn't have put them in their place, because that would've been one hell of a dressing down, but still.
"You need to know that she's disappointed in what I did," Seg told Roan. "She's already come to care about you and Liam. I've spent my entire life working to put a smile on her face, and she's never openly admitted her disappointment. So, not only did I let you down, I let her down too."
Seg needed to man up and own this, and by admitting as much, he felt as though he was. He didn't need his mother's protection. Seg had to show the world-and himself-that this was how things were going to be. It was the only way he'd be happy.
"What do we do now, Seg?" Roan leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. "Do we start over? From the beginning?"
Seg couldn't stop the memories from flooding his brain. Those from the very first night they were together. The smile took over before he could stop it.
"That's not what I meant," Roan noted, but there was a small smile forming on his succulent lips.
Before Seg could close the distance between them, Roan's phone rang.
Seg watched as Roan pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen.
"It's my dad." Roan's eyes were wide.
Seg nodded, knowing Roan needed to answer the call. He turned and walked into the kitchen, offering Roan a small amount of privacy.
"Dad?"
Unable to help himself, he watched Roan. The expressions that moved across his face were a mixture of fear and concern. The conversation seemed mostly one-sided since Roan's responses were all single words.
But then Roan sighed dramatically, followed by, "Yes, Liam's fine." His brows lowered. "No, we're good. No issues."
The conversation continued with Roan frowning more and more. Seg had no idea what was being said, but he could see Roan's irritation level rising.
Finally, Roan ended the call with an abrupt good-bye and then turned to Seg.
"Everything all right?"
Roan shrugged. "With him, I'm not sure anything's ever all right. But yeah. It's fine."
Seg heard the silent for now but he didn't push for more details. There was evidently something wrong, but Roan wasn't going to share. Since they had other things to deal with, Seg steered the conversation.
"Where's Liam?"
"With Cam and Gannon." Roan sighed. "And I really should get back to him."
Seg nodded. "I don't suppose I could talk you into bringing him back to my place. The two of you stay the night with me."
Roan immediately shook his head. "It's late. I have to work tomorrow. You've probably got practice."
It was clear he was losing this war, even if he'd won part of the battle.