Because he loved Seg. He loved him and wanted to protect him from the world. He hated himself for it because he knew Seg had the power to break him. To shatter his heart.
Yet it was the truth.
"Do you love me, Roan?" Seg asked, tilting Roan's head just enough to force him to meet Seg's gaze. "Tell me you love me. Tell me there's a chance that I didn't ruin everything. I need to hear it."
Roan didn't want to admit it. If he kept that to himself, his heart stood a better chance of repairing the damage this one man had done.
"Please tell me," Seg pleaded, his eyes glistening.
And that was what broke him. Seeing this man so close to the breaking point was more than Roan could bear.
"Yes," he choked out. "I love you." He narrowed his eyes. "God help me, I don't want to, but I do."
Seg didn't move, their eyes still locked together. He could sense that Seg was searching for something. A second chance, maybe?
Roan knew he shouldn't give him one. He shouldn't.
But he would because he fucking loved him. He didn't want to live without him. He wanted everything Seg had offered before that stupid fucking reporter had stuck his nose where it didn't belong.
"I want to be with you, Roan," Seg whispered, as though realizing the battle waging inside Roan's head.
Roan swallowed hard.
Seg continued, "I want to be with you and Liam. I don't care who knows. Hell, I don't care if I get ousted from the league. None of that matters anymore because I know that the only thing that's important is how I feel when I'm with you."
He was so fucking weak.
Not Seg. Roan.
Roan wasn't strong enough to resist this man. He did love him, no matter how painful it was to accept it. Would Seg pull this stunt again? Roan didn't know. He would never know.
"I'm not sure I can trust you," Roan admitted. "I want to, but … "
Seg nodded, but he didn't leap into a million platitudes aimed at convincing Roan otherwise. Did that mean it was a possibility? Would Seg have another freak-out moment and end up in some woman's bed because he needed to feel better about himself?
If only Roan could predict the future.
Then again, if he could've done that, he would've done it when he was fourteen years old and he'd come out to his parents. He would've kept his secret to himself in order to keep his family together.
Or would he?
Knowing what he knew now, would it have made a difference? Would his entire life be different?
Would he own a marina with his best friends?
Would they have met Teague? Or Hudson?
Would Noah and Dare be together now?
Would Cam have even met Gannon?
Would Cassie still be alive?
Would Liam even be here?
Would Roan have been in that bar at the same time as Seg at that one moment in time?
It could all be different.
Did he really want that?
No. He didn't.
Seg leaned in again, slower this time. When his forehead rested against Roan's, Roan closed his eyes. The warmth of Seg's hands on his neck offered him comfort he hadn't known before. He felt whole when he was with Seg.
Even now.
Even after all this.
"I can't tell you that it won't happen again, but I can show you. I can prove to you that you are it for me."
"You came out to the world today, Seg," Roan stated.
"I did." He pulled back. "Did you watch?"
Roan forced his eyes open and nodded.
"I came out because I'm tired of hiding. I want to be happy. This … you and me … this is my happy. You and Liam are all I want in this world, and I'm prepared to prove that to you."
"It won't be easy," Roan told him.
"Probably not. But that's okay. I'm not looking for the easy way out. As long as you'll give me another chance, I'll endure whatever I have to in order to make this right with you."
Roan's defenses were crumbling. The pep talk he'd given himself on the drive over had been pointless. He was going to give in.
After all, he was in love with this man, and when he thought about spending the rest of his life without Seg in it …
Yeah.
He wasn't sure he was strong enough to do that.
Even if it was the best thing for him.
Then again, he wasn't even sure that was true anymore.
Twenty-Six
A SECOND CHANCE WITH ROAN?
Seg hadn't thought it would be possible, yet he could see the indecision in Roan's eyes. He wanted this as much as Seg did.
Sure, Roan had good reason not to give in, but Seg wasn't going to give up. He'd screwed up in a big way, but he could make this right. He could prove to Roan that he was worthy of his love. He had to.
"What do we do about these reporters?" Roan questioned, taking a step back.
Seg allowed him to move away, not wanting to make any assumptions just yet. Although Roan was acting as though he could forgive Seg, that didn't mean it was so. "It's not what you want to hear, but they will go away eventually. There's no story here."