Fuck. Seg took a step closer. Then another. His muscles were coiled tight, his body gearing up for a fight. He got the feeling this was going to be the fight of his life.
Roan's head snapped up, his golden eyes locking with Seg's as Seg closed the distance between them.
"I'm not straight," Seg admitted. "And yes, I had a moment of panic. I freaked out. I was fucking terrified."
"So much so that your new girlfriend helped ease your pain?"
Seg thrust his hands in his hair. "Nothing happened with her. I went home alone."
"You shouldn't've been with her in the first fucking place, Seg."
"I know." He tugged on his hair until pain shot through his scalp. "Trust me. I fucking know."
Staring into Roan's eyes, he prayed that Roan had an ounce of sympathy for him. Something to tie them together, because the thought of losing Roan forever …
That was worse than the idea of never being able to play hockey again.
Too bad he hadn't realized that before he'd gone and fucked shit up.
ROAN FELT AS THOUGH HE were suffocating. The pain wasn't confined to his chest either. It radiated outward, through his entire body.
It took everything in him, but he met and held Seg's gaze, needing this to be over because he couldn't take any more. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep until Seg didn't matter. Until everything they'd been through these past few months was merely a fuzzy memory. Eventually that day would come. It would probably take years, but Roan would endure. After all, he had no other choice.
"I love you, Roan," Seg whispered, dropping his hands to his sides as he took another step closer.
Roan knew he should step back. Hell, he should probably turn and run, because he felt his resolve crumbling from the tormented look on Seg's face.
He didn't want Seg's love. He wanted …
Fuck. Who was he kidding? He wanted Seg's love more than he wanted anything, but he wasn't about to let Seg know that.
"You should've thought about that before." Renewed anger sparked in his gut. "I fucking waited for you, Seg. I sat at your house and waited for you after the game. I was there. If you'd simply come home that night, I could've helped you through it," he snapped. "Instead, you ran off to the bar, sat some … woman … God. A fucking woman, Seg. You were so hard up to convince the world, and probably yourself-"
"No!" Seg moved so quickly Roan didn't have time to put space between them. Seg's hands cupped Roan's face, holding him in place, their gazes slamming together. "I wasn't trying to convince myself. I know what I want. Who I want. I've known it since the first night I took you back to my place." Seg's voice lowered as he continued. "I've known it since then, Roan. I spent an entire year thinking about you. Only you. I had one night with you, yet you consumed my every thought. I was desperate to see you again."
Roan swallowed hard.
"And then there you were," Seg whispered. "At the arena. And I tried to tell myself that I couldn't make it obvious, that there were people around who would see my interest, but I couldn't help it. I had to talk to you. I couldn't let you walk away again. I knew then."
Fuck. Roan wanted to believe him. Every word. He wanted it all to be true. Everything he'd felt these past months … He needed it to be real.
But he couldn't ignore the fact that Seg had hurt him.
"I can't do this," Roan confessed, his words laced with the gravel that seemed to be clogging his throat. "I can't wonder whether or not you're gonna run into the arms of a woman when you're scared. That's not how it works."
Seg leaned in, his forehead resting against Roan's. "I know. I fucked up. And I know it doesn't make it right, but I swear nothing happened. I didn't so much as kiss her."
Roan jerked back. "But you touched her, Seg. I saw the fucking picture. She was sitting on your lap smiling at you. It was what you wanted."
"No!" Seg once again grabbed Roan, jerking him closer, his hand clasping the back of his neck, his fingers massaging the tense muscles. "God no. The only thing I want is you. In that moment, I knew it was wrong because it felt wrong. But I won't lie. I was scared. I thought my world was crumbling down and I panicked." He swallowed. "But my heart belongs to you, Roan. Only you. Now and forever."
Roan's defenses were weakening with every tortured word that came out of Seg's mouth. It pained him to see him hurting, although he deserved it. Seg deserved to feel the same gut-wrenching agony Roan had felt when he'd heard Seg on the phone that night. But shit, Roan didn't want Seg to be in pain. He didn't want him to hurt. He didn't want him to be scared. Roan wanted to take all of that away because …