Harmless(71)

It wasn't a question.

"More so than I've ever seen you, in fact."

He couldn't argue with that.

"You finally figured out who you are, no?"

Seg nodded, staring down at the water bottle.

"And Roan makes you happy."

He offered another nod.

"Then I have to ask you something."

Lifting his gaze to meet hers, he waited.

"Why are you letting this reporter win?" She waved her hand toward her iPad. "He's turned something good into something foul. Is that how you see yourself? This thing between you and Roan? Is it a bad thing?"

"Of course not."

His mother pursed her lips, her doubt evident on her face. "Could've fooled me."

She brought the iPad to life and scrolled down the screen. There in vivid color was the picture of Seg with the puck bunny. His stomach lurched, and he once again fought the urge to puke.

"When you told me you were gay, Seggy, I wasn't surprised. Nor was I disappointed. Like I said, I love you for you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Yet last night  …  whatever happened  …  it was clear you were ashamed."

"I wasn't," he countered, though he didn't buy it himself.

Her expression told him she didn't believe him.

"And I have to say, as soon as I saw the picture, I was disappointed. My first thought was of Roan and how much pain he would be in after seeing this." 

Seg closed his eyes. As much as he wanted the picture to disappear, he knew there was no way Roan hadn't seen it.

"Seggy?"

Forcing his eyes open, Seg looked at his mother.

"I understand the need to keep your private life private. I even understand the world of professional sports being somewhat conservative in the matter of gay athletes. But honestly … "

Seg waited, knowing she wasn't finished.

Deb leaned back and rested her hands on the table. "You've got these football players taking a knee during the national anthem." Her face scrunched in disgust. "Now, I'm not from the States, but I can tell you that I stand proudly for the national anthem-mine and theirs-my hand over my heart. This country has given my son the ability to do what he loves to do. And the men and women who have fought for their country deserve the respect of me being on my feet. It's the absolute least I can do. So, if the National Football League can sit back and state that those men have the right to express their disdain for their own country, then by God, you have the right to love who you want to love, and the National Hockey League is going to stand behind you."

As heartfelt as he knew that speech was, his mother was wrong. "It's not the league I worry about, Ma."

"No? It's the other players? In the locker room? What? Do they think you'll be in there ogling them? These are men who've played hockey with you for years. They respect you and your abilities. I don't think you give them enough credit."

"So you're saying I should come out?" He felt his anger rising.

She sighed. "That's not what I'm saying. However, I'm saying that you're letting one little twiddle fart screw up your entire life, just when you've found yourself. So what if he publicly states that you've got a boyfriend. You do, don't you?"

No. He'd had a boyfriend. After last night, Seg seriously doubted Roan would ever speak to him again, and he couldn't blame him.

His mother reached over and took his hand. "Seggy, what I'm telling you is that if you try to hide who you truly are, you're going to be miserable. I can't tell you that you can live out and proud while playing hockey, but you don't have to hide in the dark anymore either."

He nodded.

"Did you talk to Phoenix? What does he think about all this?"

Seg hadn't had the chance.

No, amend that. He hadn't even tried to talk to Phoenix.

"I didn't think so," Deb stated, reaching over and patting his hand. "I want you to go talk to him. For one, you owe him an explanation since I'm sure he's had the displeasure of seeing this article. Then, once you've done that, you can call Roan, get down on your knees, and beg him for another chance. That man doesn't deserve what you did to him."

Seg felt tears prick the backs of his eyes. He hated himself for what he'd done.

"Think of it this way," his mother continued, "if Liam was old enough to read this … "

Oh, holy fuck.

His stomach churned and Seg shot to his feet and bolted to his bathroom. The mere thought of hurting Roan was bad enough, but Liam …

Seg suddenly wasn't sure he even deserved them anymore.



Cheater or bisexual? Or is there a difference?

Let's talk hockey, shall we?

Or rather, let's talk about what's in the water back in the locker room.

No, I'm not referring to lead or anything like that. I'm talking specifically about the water the Austin Arrows organization is passing out. It appears to be tainted.