It suddenly dawned on him that this was his very first glimpse at Roan's life.
He noticed the bright, open space, the muted beige tones on the walls, the giant television mounted above the fireplace, a huge brown suede sectional set up to separate the small dining area from the living area.
The small house was … homey. It felt like a place you wanted to go to after a long day at work, a place to sit down and relax. Seg wasn't sure if that was because of the niceness or the cleanliness or simply if it was because Roan was there.
Of course, that wasn't all he noticed.
His mind whirred as he took in the baby swing sitting at one end of the sofa, a package of diapers on the two-seater dining room table, the blue baby blanket lying over the arm of the couch, and the pacifier sitting on the coffee table.
"I have a son," Roan blurted, coming around to stand beside him. "If that bothers you, I think-"
"But you're not married, right?"
"Uh … no."
"No long-term boyfriend?"
"No."
Yeah, it was safe to say Roan had been hiding something, but the overwhelming relief at knowing it wasn't a husband or significant other nearly brought Seg to his knees.
Seg spun around so fast he nearly knocked Roan over. Instead, he grabbed Roan's head and pressed his lips to the man's. He wasn't rough, but he hoped like fuck Roan felt his relief.
"I thought you were married," he mumbled against Roan's lips before pressing his forehead against Roan's. "I thought you were hiding because you were in a relationship. The idea of you belonging to another man gnawed at my gut, made me crazy."
Roan pulled back, staring into his eyes. "Did you hear me? I have a kid."
Seg smirked. "And that should bother me why?"
"Because … "
Clearly Roan didn't have an answer for that one.
"Because I'm a hockey player? Why in the hell would I want kids? Or because I'm in the closet? Couldn't possibly want kids then either, right?"
Roan's golden eyes widened, and Seg knew the man had been using both of those things as excuses for not being with him. Roan definitely intrigued him, even if he had a way of pissing him off like no one else.
Forcing himself to take a step back, he released Roan. "Is he here? Your son?"
"He's asleep."
"Ahh." Seg purposely lowered his voice. "I'm sorry, I'll try to be quiet. I didn't mean to be so loud."
"Is this really happening?" Roan looked sincerely perplexed.
"You don't think too highly of me, do you?" Seg retorted, ignoring the hurt that consumed him.
Roan's dark eyebrow lifted. "You thought I was married."
"Touché." Seg glanced around the room once more. "How old is he? Your son."
Seg heard Roan release a breath. "Four months. Tomorrow. His name's Liam. He's my sister's son. I'm his legal guardian, now that she's … "
Yeah. Seg didn't need him to finish that statement. He nodded in understanding.
"Can I get you something to drink?" Roan offered, his eyes fixing on anything except for Seg's face.
"Sure. Whatever you've got is fine."
"Baby formula, beer, water, milk, tea … "
"I think I'll pass on the formula this time," he answered with a grin.
When Roan stared at him, he could tell the man was still trying to figure him out.
Rather than let him come up with his own reasoning, Seg took a step forward, then another until he was once again crowding Roan. "I don't know about you, but right here is where I want to be right now. I'm not here to push or prod my way into your life, but you let me in the door. I think the most we can do is live in the moment, eh?" Seg tilted his head to the side. "I can't deny how much I want you, what I'm willing to risk simply to be here. I'm not asking you to give me more than you can, Roan."
"I'm not good at this." Roan's words were so soft, so tormented.
"I want you. The real you. With all your baggage. I don't expect you to be someone you're not. Let's just take this one step at a time, see where we go?"
It was what felt right to him, and personally, Seg was tired of being someone he wasn't. The fact that Roan let him in the front door was enough for him. Right now.
Unable to resist, Seg leaned down and kissed Roan. He wasn't trying to consume him the way he had every other time. He simply wanted to feel him, to taste him, to explore him. To be with him.
When Roan kissed him back, Seg put his hand on Roan's hip, pulling him closer. Not close enough for their bodies to touch completely, but closer. Enough that he could feel the man's warmth. Seg didn't let the kiss ignite, not wanting to allow Roan to get into his own head for too long.