Harmless(41)

Roan stopped pacing when the knock on his front door sounded.

Without looking, he knew exactly who was out there. How he'd found him was anyone's guess. Why he'd come tonight instead of tomorrow like he'd said …

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Roan couldn't move. Fuck, he couldn't even breathe. For a second, he considered hiding all the baby stuff, but he thought better of it. If Seg wanted to fight this out, he could, but he had to do it knowing all the facts. This was Roan's life now and he didn't want to change it. Not for anyone.

Going to the door, he smoothed down his shirt, then reached for the knob, taking a deep breath in the process.




 

 

The sexiest man alive was standing on his front porch, wearing a black suit, crisp white shirt with the button open at his neck. No tie for Seg, but that didn't surprise Roan. Still, he looked good enough to eat.

"How'd you find out where I lived?" he asked, not bothering to step back out of the way.

Seg simply stood there, staring at him.

Roan's breath lodged in his throat.

"You don't have to let me in," Seg finally said. "But I've got some things to say to you. I'll do it out here if you'd like."

Feeling slightly put out, Roan nodded. Seg's threats didn't bother him.

A hint of disappointment flashed in Seg's eyes, and Roan felt like a shithead, but he didn't relent.

"I don't know why you're running from me," Seg began. "Maybe I'm delusional, but I can't help but think that what happened between us-twice-doesn't usually happen. Not for me anyway."

Roan waited, biting his tongue to keep from agreeing.

"I turned twenty-eight six weeks ago, Roan. Not once in all my life have I ever met someone who has taken up so much of my headspace. Not. Once." Seg sighed. "I can't stop thinking about you. Fuck, at this point, I can't sleep for thinking about you. If you don't want me, don't want to see where this might go, fine. But I need you to say it. And I need you to make me believe it, because dammit, I feel something between us."

The fact that the man could make him melt with a few words only pissed him off. Seg was destroying his resolve, and Roan had to be strong. "You're in the closet, Seg. How the hell do you even know what you feel? You're hiding."

"Maybe I am, but I'm not the only one. It sure seems like you're doing some hiding of your own."

"You don't know the first fucking thing about me," he countered, hating that Seg was right. Roan was hiding. He'd been doing it for a long damn time now, at the expense of his own happiness.

"You're right, I don't. But not because I don't want to know you. You simply have to let me in."

"And then what?" Roan asked, his anger rising. "We're gonna fuck like rabbits and then you're gonna disappear with the next supermodel to come your way? Is that how it works? I'm gonna fuck you in the dark of night while some woman gets to parade around on your arm and smile for the camera? I don't live in the dark, Seg. And I damn sure don't plan to."

"Is that really what this is about?" Seg's mouth thinned, his eyes narrowing.

Roan couldn't answer because he knew that it wasn't. Not really. 

"Do you want me to find a reporter and tell him I'm fucking a guy? That no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about you? Tell him that a year and a half ago, my life changed in a matter of hours? That my priorities got screwed up at that point? That my career became the least of my fucking worries?" Seg frowned. "Or do I tell him that the same guy showed up on my doorstep and spent the night in my bed and I woke up realizing that my entire life has been a fucking lie? That I'm tired of living it that way? Is that what you want?"

Roan's eyes widened. He wasn't sure if Seg was spouting bullshit or if this was the truth.

"Or do you want to open that door and show me what you've been hiding, Roan? Because, yeah, I might be in the closet, I might not be ready to let the world know my personal business, but I'm not the only one who's hiding." Seg's voice lowered even more. "If those two nights meant even half as much to you as they did to me, you'll let me in, Roan."

Son of a bitch.

"I … " Roan knew he needed to argue, but he didn't even have a case.

Those two nights meant more to him than any other night he'd spent with any other man. He wanted Seg in his life, in his bed. Unfortunately, he needed to remain grounded in reality before he got too caught up in the things Seg was saying, because the man honestly didn't know the first thing about him.

"Let me come in, Roan."

It was said more as a demand than a request, and damn it all to hell, Roan found himself stepping back, making room for Seg to move past him.





Twelve

SEG WASN'T SURE HIS LEGS were going to carry him across the threshold. He'd honestly believed that Roan was going to send him on his way. Somehow, he managed to put one foot in front of the other. When the door closed behind him, Seg found himself glancing around the room.