He'd been battling himself for so long. And now, with Cam pushing him, Roan couldn't help but think about Seg all day and all night. Even if it went nowhere, why did Roan have to be lonely all the time? Sure, he had Liam, and the time he spent with the boy was more than he could've ever hoped for. Plus, Liam was only three months old. He was young enough that Roan could sow a few wild oats and he'd be none the wiser. That way, when Liam was older, Roan would be content to be alone.
Right now, the loneliness was almost too much to bear. However, this was a different kind of loneliness. A void that would be there until Roan decided to do something about it.
"It's time to do something about it."
SEG HAD BEEN IN BED for all of five minutes when his phone rang. He glanced over at the screen. A smile instantly formed on his face and his stomach dropped.
He hit the talk button. "Hey."
"Hey," Roan said softly.
"What's up?"
"I don't know."
Seg settled back against the pillows, pretending it wasn't weird that he was stoked at the fact Roan had called him. Nearly two months had passed, and Seg had given up on ever hearing from Roan again. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah. Tired, I guess."
Seg could hear it in Roan's voice. He sounded exhausted. "You been working a lot?"
"No, actually. I've taken some time off. I … uh … just bought a house. Moved in a couple of days ago."
"Well, that's got to be stressful. No wonder you sound dead on your feet."
There was silence for a moment and Seg stared at the muted television. For two guys who'd spent only one night together, it seemed as though they were having a regular conversation.
"I am. Though, technically, I'm not on my feet right now."
"Where are you?"
There was a brief pause before Roan said, "In my bed."
Something in the way he said it had Seg swallowing hard.
"What are you doin'?" Roan inquired.
"Just sitting here. Watching TV." Seg smiled. "In bed."
"Really? On a Saturday night?"
Seg chuckled. "I'm not much of a partier, despite what you might hear. I spend a lot of time at home. During the season, we're on the road so much, when we're at home, that's where I want to be. My place. You know?"
"Makes sense, I guess."
"What about you? It's Saturday night. Why aren't you out?" Seg asked.
"Not big on the party scene either."
"No?"
"Nah. I'm too old for that shit."
Seg realized he had no idea how old Roan was. "And that would make you … ?"
A rough chuckle sounded in his ear. "Thirty-three. Soon to be thirty-four."
"Ah." Seg grinned. "That is old."
"Yeah?"
This time Roan laughed. A real laugh. One that made Seg feel lighter, but he had no idea why that was.
"You're what? Twenty-seven?" Roan teased.
"Soon to be twenty-eight," Seg corrected.
"Six years … Nah. It won't be long until you're in need of a walker."
Okay, Seg really liked this side of Roan. The lighthearted side. It was a part of him Seg hadn't had the chance to see yet.
"Yeah, well. When I need a walker, we'll get you one of those hov-around carts."
Neither of them said anything when the laughter died down. Seg wanted to say so many things, but he'd spent the better part of two months chastising himself for coming on too strong with Roan. Since Roan had called him, he would let him lead the conversation this time.
"I … uh … I really don't know why I called," Roan said. "I don't mean that in a bad way. I just wanted … Shit."
"What?" Seg asked. He wanted Roan to finish that sentence. "You just wanted what?"
"I don't know."
"Sure you do," he urged.
"I wanted to hear your voice, I guess."
Okay, so it was a damn good thing Seg was sitting down. "Come over."
"I can't."
"Let me come over there."
"I can't do that either."
Again, Seg noticed a hint of disappointment in Roan's tone. There was something the man wasn't telling him. Hell, there were a million things he wasn't telling him.
Why was he so adamant? Was there something wrong with his new place?
Oh, fuck. Was he married?
Damn it. That had never occurred to him before now. It made total sense, even when it didn't.
Rather than call him on it, Seg said, "Okay. I get it." He wouldn't push.
"No, you don't."
"Sure. We can talk. On the phone."
This time the silence stretched for a few too many seconds, and Seg figured Roan was going to let him go. He didn't want him to, but he wasn't going to do all the chasing here. As it was, he had no fucking clue what he wanted from Roan; he only knew he wanted to see him again. One night hadn't been enough.