Harmless(24)

They said silence was golden. On a phone call, silence was a bitch. Seg's shoulders knotted the longer it went on.

"Okay. I'll just come out with it," he finally told Roan. "I want to see you. That's all I know to say. I've spent too damn long thinking about  …  that night. I just …  Goddammit. Why is this so fucking hard?"

Roan sighed on the other end of the phone, and Seg realized he'd said all of that out loud.

"Can I see you again?" Seg asked. "I can come to your place."

"No."

Okay, that was a quick answer. The way Roan said it sounded more as though he didn't want Seg at his place and less like he was opposed to seeing Seg again period.

"I mean, I don't have a place right now," Roan continued. "I'm staying with friends."

"Then you can come to my place. Remember the way?"

"No, I can't."

Disappointment stabbed his gut.

"Look, Seg, I've got a lot going on right now. I really don't have time for  …  anything."

"I'll make you dinner," he offered.

Another sigh from Roan and Seg realized he sounded desperate.

"Tell me this," he told Roan, "do you even remember that night?"

There was silence for several seconds. Seg was starting to think Roan wasn't going to answer when, finally, Roan cleared his throat.




 

 

Seg held his breath.

"Yeah," Roan confirmed. "I remember it. Maybe a little too well."

Seg lowered himself to the couch, his legs unable to hold him up any longer. Neither of them said anything for what felt like an eternity.

Unfortunately, Roan was the first to speak. "Look. I really do have a lot going on in my life right now. I don't have time for-"

"Dinner?" Seg interrupted.

"Hell, I don't have time to eat most of the time, no."

Seg realized Roan was serious. "Something wrong?"

"My  …  uh  …  damn it." Roan cleared his throat again. "My sister died a few days ago."

"Oh, fuck, man. I'm sorry."

"Thanks."

"Was she sick?" Seg was craving even the smallest detail about Roan's life. For some stupid-ass reason, he wanted to know something about him other than he was the best fucking lay he'd ever had in his life.

"Yeah. You could say that."

To his dismay, Roan didn't elaborate, so Seg left it at that. "I really would like to see you again. I don't want to be a burden or anything. But maybe you could call me, you know, when you've got a few minutes to spare." Damn, he sounded desperate, but he couldn't help it. This man had him twisted up in knots.

"Yeah."

By his tone, Seg knew Roan wasn't promising anything. But he'd already said too much, made himself look too vulnerable. That was something he'd never done before and he didn't know what it was about Roan. He seemed to be his Kryptonite or something.

"I'll talk to you later," Seg told him.

"Yeah. Okay."

And with that, the call ended, and still, Seg felt no better than he had before the call.





Five

Almost two months later

December 10th

"WHAT DO YOU THINK, LIAM?" Roan asked his son-yep, that was exactly how he was thinking of him these days-as Roan carried Liam into the new nursery he'd set up that very day. In their very own house.

"I think it suits you well, little man."

It hadn't taken much time at all for Roan to find a house. Granted, he'd had the help of his friends, and thanks to an eager-to-sell couple who needed to close in as few days as possible, Roan had managed to get it all handled in just under a month. The three weeks after he'd signed the papers, Roan had spent most of his time with either a hammer or a paintbrush in hand, working to make the new-to-them house their own.

Liam helped, of course. Roan had shown him paint samples, which had gone over really well. Apparently, Liam wasn't picky. So they went with a blue-gray on the walls in Liam's bedroom. That, combined with the white furniture and the new white ceiling fan, made the perfect room for a three-month-old. 

Aside from slapping a few coats of paint on the walls, Roan had redone the floors, laying down hardwood and having carpet installed in the bedrooms. There was still a lot to do, but Roan was satisfied with the progress.

"One of these days, we've gotta work on my room," Roan told him as he carried the boy into the kitchen.

Liam's face scrunched up in that way that said he was ten seconds away from a nuclear meltdown, complete with an ear-splitting cry that would let the man on the moon know that he was hungry.

"Yep, I'm readin' your mind, kiddo. Got the bottle all ready to go."

While Roan bounced Liam gently in his arms, he got himself situated, then set about feeding him using only one arm while he carried a load of laundry to his bedroom.