"That's not true," Roan argued, his tone reflecting his guilt. "This didn't have anything to do with trust." It really hadn't.
Cam didn't seem convinced. "I know that since I met Gannon, I've been a little … preoccupied. You deserved better than that from me."
Roan cleared his throat. Although he'd known Cam was taking the guilt on himself all these months, believing he was the reason Roan was keeping his distance, Roan hadn't bothered to correct him.
"This isn't on you." He watched Cam, then briefly glanced at Gannon. "Or you. This is all my doing. Cassie's been … " God, how did he say it? "She's been fucked up for a long time. I didn't want to deal with it, but someone had to. I knew she needed me, even if she hated me."
"She didn't hate you," Cam debated.
Roan laughed without mirth. "Oh, she hated me. With a passion that rivaled all." That was the truth. Cassie had hated everyone, but especially him since he refused to leave her alone. "She wasn't nice, and I didn't want anyone to have to deal with that shit. It was hard enough for me."
"But she made you Liam's legal guardian," Gannon noted, a question in his eyes.
"She did. But I think that was because she didn't want the state to take him. Plus, she couldn't financially support him." Nor had she made an effort to try.
"Do you know who the father is?" Cam questioned.
"No. Cassie had no idea." Roan hated this story, but he couldn't keep it quiet any longer. "She'd been having sex for money. That was how she would get her next fix. She said it could've been any number of guys." He glanced at the table. "Honestly, I think Liam's better off without whoever it is. I figure Liam's father is a dealer or something."
"Is Liam doing okay?" Gannon asked. "I assume he had some issues at birth."
Roan nodded, sliding his fingers down the coffee mug. "Yeah. He did. But he's a fighter. She found out she was pregnant when she was five months along."
"That explains where you've been all these months," Cam noted, his tone harder than before.
"Someone had to try to help her get clean," Roan told him. "Since my father and Lydia refused to help before she got pregnant, she made me swear not to tell them."
"They didn't know?" Cam looked appalled.
"They never saw her. Not once did they stop by to visit and they rarely called." That wasn't unusual though. His father and stepmother lived in their own little world.
"So you found out she was pregnant and then what? Did she quit using?"
"No. It was a battle for a long time. She wouldn't stop using, wouldn't stop drinking. We fought all the time. Especially after I moved in with her. I knew someone had to keep an eye on her though. Finally … " Roan looked up at Cam. "I thought I'd gotten through to her. She cleaned herself up for a while, or so she said. I suspected she had relapsed a couple of times, but I gave her a pass." Like an idiot. "I thought she was back on the straight and narrow. I thought that was why she was being such a bitch."
It had all been a lie. Cassie had never stopped using; she'd merely hidden it from him.
He didn't want to go into details about Liam being born addicted to drugs. He'd been damn near murderous when he found out Liam had to be weaned off the drugs because Cassie had been feeding them to him throughout the pregnancy. It had been a horrific point in Roan's life, watching that baby hooked to IVs while they pumped him full of something to mimic the toxic shit she'd been injecting into herself.
It was at that point Roan had told Cassie that he hated her. Hated her for what she'd done to Liam.
"I wish you would've said something," Cam said, his voice low. "I know I should've tried to talk to you, but … "
Roan held Cam's gaze. "I didn't want anyone to have to endure Cassie's wrath. And let me tell you, she was ferocious."
She'd been brutal most of the time. Not that Roan had been much nicer to her.
"What do you need us to help with?" Gannon offered.
Roan shrugged. He hadn't had time to think about any of that yet. "I'm gonna need some time off," he told them.
"Absolutely. We'll make sure it's all covered," Cam assured him. "And we're here to help, too. I'm sure it won't require much effort to learn how to change a diaper and prepare a bottle. Gannon's working from home a lot more these days." Cam offered a small smile. "You know, for the days you need a break."
"Milly's gonna go apeshit," Gannon said, grinning. "You won't be able to hold her back with a stick. So, you might as well agree to let her help, too."