Uttering a few silent words of encouragement to her tummy, she stepped into the shower and let the powerful jets of water pummel all thoughts from her head.
* * *
‘Buongiorno.’ Rafael looked up from his laptop as Lottie entered the kitchen, registering the cloud of freshly washed curls, the floral scent of shower gel. She was wearing a flimsy cotton dressing gown belted so tightly around her waist it was in danger of cutting her in two. ‘Your things have arrived. I’d have brought them up, but I thought maybe you needed a lie-in.’
‘How considerate.’ She winced at her own acerbity. Today was supposed to be a new day, with the bitterness of yesterday put behind her.
‘I hope you slept well?’ Ignoring her ill temper, he pulled out a stool for her. He was wearing a white shirt, the sleeves rolled up above the elbow to reveal muscular olive-skinned forearms, liberally dusted with dark hair.
‘Yes—fine, thank you.’
‘Are you hungry?’ He gestured to the plate of pastries beside him.
‘Umm...’
He slid the plate towards her and watched as she seated herself next to him, carefully arranging the dressing gown to cover her legs.
‘They do look nice.’
‘Cornetti, fresh from the panificio. I took the boat out early this morning.’
Slicing open one of the pastries, she spread it thickly with butter and took a bite.
‘So, how are you feeling?’ Closing his laptop, Rafael turned to give her his full attention, distracted by the grease-slicked swell of her pink lips as she chewed hungrily.
‘If you mean by that do I feel pregnant, then, no—I feel just the same as yesterday.’ She concentrated on her eating.
‘Actually, I meant has your mood improved?’ Every now and then he could glimpse the tip of her tongue, disappearing into the dark moistness of her mouth. ‘But I guess you have answered that.’
‘My mood is perfectly all right, thank you.’ Wiping her fingers on a piece of paper towel, she tipped her chin to look at him.
‘Good...good.’
He leant forward, watching her eyes widen as he did so, and removed a flake of pastry stuck to her lower lip, then sucked it off his finger. The intimacy of the gesture shocked him. What did he think he was doing? Lottie looked equally startled, immediately pulling back.
‘You don’t have to be like this, you know,’ she said. Holding the collar of her dressing gown, she pulled it more tightly across her chest.
‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know... Like, well...falsely polite.’
‘Meaning...?’ He stared at her.
‘What I’m saying is, don’t feel that you have to pussyfoot around me for the whole two weeks. It wouldn’t feel right—and anyway the strain will kill you.’
‘Pussyfoot?’ He watched the blush spread across her cheeks as she looked down, moving pastry crumbs around on the plate with her finger. The word seemed to have taken on a far more carnal meaning. ‘I had no idea that was what I was doing.’
‘I just mean that we need to try and be normal.’ She turned to look at him again, still fighting to control the colour of her skin. ‘We both know the situation; it’s not as if we need to pretend to each other. Playing the part of dutiful husband is not going to make me any more pregnant and it would just feel like a sham.’
‘Well, thank you for pointing that out.’
As her sharp words hit home Rafael narrowed his eyes at her. It was obvious what she was doing: setting the ground rules, constructing a safety barrier between them to keep his unwanted attentions away. Just the idea that she thought she had to do that curdled his stomach.
‘Fine.’ His voice was harsh, cutting. ‘I agree that we don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us. Like we might enjoy each other’s company, or anything like that.’
Now it was Lottie’s turn to feel the chill. Why was she being made to feel bad for pointing out the truth? The hostility he had shown her when she had first arrived back at the palazzo had demonstrated clearly enough what he thought of her.
‘I think it’s important that we are honest with each other, that’s all. I know what Dr Oveisi said, and everything, but that doesn’t mean we should be trying to fool each other.’
‘Whatever you say.’ Bored with the subject, Rafael stood up, fixing Lottie with a steely stare. ‘Have you finished your breakfast?’
Well, that awkward conversation was obviously over. ‘Yes, thank you. I’ll go and get dressed now.’
‘Wait.’ He watched an immediate flicker of wariness cross her blue eyes. ‘I have something to show you first.’