Could she say yes? Rafael somehow made the decision sound so straightforward. He made everything seem possible. But then he had no thought or care for the life she had made for herself in England. Built up so painstakingly, brick by brick, from the demolition rubble of their marriage. She had finally reached the stage where she felt financially stable and emotionally settled. Most of the time anyway.
Could she really take this enormous gamble and throw caution, common sense and self-preservation to the wind? Hurl them up into the blue sky and watch to see where they fell? The same blue sky that Rafael had fallen from, that had brought her here in the first place.
It was so tempting.
Rafael waited, as if sensing that words were no longer needed. So close now she could feel the soft whisper of his breath against her face, feel herself weakening beneath the unbearable scrutiny of his gaze and the lethal, sensual intoxication of his nearness.
Sitting up very straight, she pushed back her shoulders and mirrored his penetrating stare. This was her decision and she was going to make it.
‘Right, I have made up my mind.’
The answering flash in Rafael’s eyes was so intense that she had to blink against it, her mouth suddenly dry with the cotton wool words.
‘My answer is yes. I will do it.’
CHAPTER THREE
THERE WAS A long second of astonishment. Then, jerking back to life, Rafael clasped Lottie’s hands in his, squeezing them tightly in his strong grasp.
‘You mean it?’ He angled his head to see her face better, to make sure he had understood correctly.
‘Yes.’
‘You agree to using our frozen embryo?’
‘Yes. That is what we are talking about here, isn’t it?’ She attempted a short laugh but it came out as more of a squawk, the panic of what she had just agreed to throttling her vocal cords.
‘Then I thank you.’ Deeply serious now, Rafael let go of her hands and, tipping her chin with his fingers, captured her gaze with his own. ‘Vi ringrazio dal profondo del mio cuore. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.’
‘That’s okay.’
Lottie cringed at her vapid reply. Okay was hardly a fitting response to Rafael’s heartfelt gratitude. Or to the magnitude of what she had agreed to, come to that. But she couldn’t think straight—not when he was so close, not when he was looking at her like that, with the soft touch of his fingertips searing against her skin. She needed to get away—away from Rafael and the way he was making her feel. If she had just made the most crazy decision of her life she wanted to be alone now, so that she could scream at herself in peace.
‘Well, I think I’ll go to bed.’ She wobbled to standing. ‘I am rather tired.’
‘Of course.’ Rafael was immediately beside her, holding her elbow. ‘We can discuss all the arrangements tomorrow.’
That little statement did nothing to calm her nerves. She went to move away but Rafael held on to her, drawing her closer, his strong arms encircling her body, pressing her against his chest. Lottie froze beneath his embrace.
‘You won’t regret this decision, Lottie.’
She could feel his breath fanning the top of her head, lightly moving her hair.
‘I will make sure of that. This time it will work—I know it will.’
‘I hope so.’ Her words were muffled against the soft cotton of his shirt.
She had no idea whether it would or not, but right now she had a more pressing concern—literally. The shocking way her body was reacting to his. The initial forbidden twitch of desire had spread through her body, stopping somewhere low in her abdomen, where it now sat, throbbing inside her, waiting for something to happen.
‘I know so.’
He pulled her even closer and Lottie felt any resolve fade away as the heat between them intensified. It felt so good, yet so wrong, encased in his muscular arms, with the hard planes of his chest crushing her breasts against him with alarming effect, the lengths of their bodies touching, meeting all the way down.
Ignoring every screaming warning, she found herself arching her body very slightly, to push her pelvis closer to him, to feel more. And she wasn’t disappointed. The rock-hard length of his arousal was instantly evident, making its presence felt against her, and her own body immediately went into clenching spasms of desire in response. A thrill of triumph rushed through her that she could still do this to him—that he wasn’t as impervious to her as his icy façade would suggest. Up on tiptoes now, she tentatively moved her arms around his neck, wanting more, for him to want more.
She heard the guttural growl, followed by a soft Italian curse, then felt her arms being wrenched from his neck, left to fall by her sides as he jerked himself away from her.