‘Oh,’ she said. ‘I was afraid you might be asleep.’ She came nervously across to the bed and sat down on its edge. ‘I—I’ve just had a word with Andre,’ she went on, her tone constricted. ‘And he’s told me how you feel. But Ginny—please believe I didn’t come to Terauze to fall in love. In fact, it’s the last thing in the world I ever expected to happen. I never knew I could feel like this. I—I still can’t believe it myself.’
Her smile was forced—apprehensive. ‘And I’m sure you think it’s too soon, and it won’t last. But I know he’s the only man I’ll ever truly want and need, so can’t you please—please try to be happy for me?’
‘Ginny, I’ve had a bad dream. Can I get into bed with you?’
‘Ginny, I’ve lost my pocket money. Will you buy me some sweets?’
‘Ginny—don’t tell Mummy I broke the jug.’
Words from the distant past echoed and re-echoed in Ginny’s mind, reminding her of the vulnerable, dependent child who’d preceded the spoilt beauty. The little girl who’d believed that anything that went wrong could easily be put right. And who relied on her big sister to do it for her.
She thought, I was all she had...
She bit her lip hard. ‘Of course I’ll be happy for you, Cilly-Billy,’ she said, after a pause. ‘It—just takes some getting used to. That’s all.’
She smiled up with an effort. ‘And now I really would like to relax. All that sightseeing seems to have knocked me out.’
Cilla nodded and rose. She looked down at Ginny, her lips puckering in faint anxiety.
She said in a rush, ‘But it could happen for you too, Ginny. You could fall in love—if you’d only let yourself. I’m sure of it.’
Ginny kept smiling. ‘Perhaps we’re not all that lucky.’
Alone again, she turned over and lay like a stone, her face buried in the pillow. And whispered again, ‘That’s all.’
It was a real struggle not to weep her heart out for all she had lost.
Except it had not been lost. Because she’d thrown it away by refusing to face the truth that she was in love with him, and always had been.
Probably from that first moment. And why could she see that so clearly now—when it was all too late?
But she was glad she’d won the battle with her tears when, barely ten minutes later, her door was thrown open and Andre strode in.
She sat up, staring at him. ‘I thought you had visitors.’
‘They have gone.’
‘And I said I did not want a discussion.’
‘Nevertheless, there must be one.’ His face was set and grim. ‘And about our own future rather than that of Lucille.’
As if there could be any difference...
She met his gaze. ‘Whereas I say that you and I have no future. That we should cut our losses and go our separate ways.’
‘Separate?’ He almost spat the word. ‘How can that be when we are for ever linked by the child you are carrying? When...’ He stopped, shaking his head.
Her throat tightened. ‘I—I’ve no idea. I only know that I can’t stay here. That you must let me go. And the sooner the better.’
There was a silence, then he said quietly, ‘I can no longer argue against that. There are details to be settled, naturellement, which my lawyer, Henri Dechesnes, will discuss with you.’
And as he was here earlier, no doubt most of the discussion has already taken place...
She nodded. ‘That would probably be best.’ She added jerkily, ‘Don’t worry, Andre. I won’t ask for very much.’
His voice was ragged with sudden bitterness. ‘You do not have to tell me that, Virginie. Je crois bien. And I was a fool ever to think—ever to hope for more.’
He paused. ‘I shall go now and tell my father what has been decided.’
She steadied her voice. ‘I’m sure he already knows—and will think we’ve made absolutely the right choices.’
‘Au contraire, I am certain he will be deeply disappointed in us both, and will say so over dinner.’
She said quickly, ‘Which would hardly be fair on Cilla. So, perhaps you’ll make my excuses—and ask Clothilde to bring me some soup up here.’
‘D’accord—if that is what you want.’
No, she thought, as he walked to the door. It is not what I want. But everything I truly wish must remain my secret until I’m out of here. And probably for ever.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
GINNY AWOKE WITH a start, and lay for a moment wondering what had disturbed her.
She had not expected to sleep at all, yet it seemed she had done so, and deeply, because her supper tray, delivered with chilling disapproval by an unsmiling Madame Rameau, had been removed at some point without her being aware of it.