Hardwired(75)

* * *

I excused myself immediately, finding the nearest bathroom and locking the door behind me, struggling with the effort while my hands shook uncontrollably. I splashed water on my face and looked into the mirror for help. I was pale as a ghost. Nausea hit me in relentless waves, and I fought the urge to heave, to purge his poisonous memory from my body.

I needed a game plan. My purse. It was still in the living room.

But who would I call? Beyond that, what would I say? The man who raped me in college is my fucking stepbrother. Hell, how was I going to get through this? I could barely look at the man without having a full-blown nervous breakdown. Now I needed to sit through a dinner with him, as if none of that history existed, an entire chapter of my life blurred out.

This was a personal emergency, but not an actual emergency, I told myself. We’d get through dinner and I’d find a reason to leave. I’d have to figure out how to deal with Daniel later, though the prospect of building a relationship with him seemed completely impossible now. I dried my face and tried to pull myself together before stepping out into the hallway. I could do this.

I stepped out and the second I shut the door behind me, Mark was there.

“Everything all right?” he murmured.

His eyes were dark, almost black as he stalked closer. I stepped back, pressing my palms against the wall behind me. Panic shot through me. Every nerve stood on edge, ready to fight.

“Stay away from me.” My voice was small, betraying the fear that threatened to take me over. I was a puddle of fucking anxiety, not the fierce intimidating woman I needed to be to scare him off.

“Or what?” He came close enough for me to feel his breath. “This is perfect, really. I’ve always wanted a sister.”

He ran a finger from my knee to the hem of my dress lifting it a fraction. Every cell in my body came alive and adrenaline coursed through me like a lightning bolt. God help me, I wouldn’t be his victim again. I pushed him off with every ounce of my strength, shoving him into the opposite wall of the hallway.

“If you ever touch me again, you can swear off children. Believe me.”

An amused grin appeared on his face. I hurried to the dining room, no less flustered than when I’d left. This is the part where Daniel will think I’m a basket case.

“Erica, are you sure you’re okay?” Daniel asked.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t eaten all day. I’m not feeling so well.”

“Oh no, sweetheart, please eat!” Margo assembled a plate for me with all of the wonderful things I’d smelled earlier.

Mark joined us, sitting across from me with the same smug smile on his face, looking undeterred. I stabbed some lettuce with my fork and forced the food into my mouth. My body was in panic mode, my appetite completely gone now.

“Mark, Erica runs her own Internet company. Isn’t that impressive?” Daniel said.

He regurgitated the details from our earlier conversation for Margo and Mark’s benefit, though I cringed knowing that he was simultaneously revealing critical details that Mark might use to reach out to me again. With his identity revealed, my own anonymity—the only thing that had kept me safe from him—was gone.

“And what do you do, Mark?” I asked. Two could play this game, though I couldn’t imagine wanting to seek him out for anything other than putting a hit on him.

“I work at the firm with Daniel.”

“Of course,” I said, smiling politely. How lucky for him, to rape and pillage his college years away and subsequently walk into a prime position at one of the largest firms in the city. Somehow I hated him more than I already did.

“What part of the city do you live in?” he asked.

I stared at my plate, popping a bite of lightly seasoned haddock in my mouth while I weighed a sampling of false answers I could give him.

Just then the doorbell rang, chiming through the house. I startled at the sound, nearly falling out of my chair.

“I’ll get it, darling,” Margo said as Daniel moved to get up. She rose with economical grace and disappeared into the entryway that shielded my view of the door.

“You two should get together sometime,” Daniel suggested.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. He was quick to divert my attention to Mark, I thought. He would be a good politician. Did he think I came here to strike up a friendship with his stepson? I kept filling my mouth to keep words from spilling out and silently planned my escape. They’d want me to stay longer, I suspected, but I needed to get back home.

Home. Yes, I finally had a home, and there was no place I’d rather be.

I closed my eyes against a vision of Blake. I’d give anything to be with Blake now, but I couldn’t go running to him every time I felt vulnerable. Maybe I could stay with Marie.