It had been more of an adjustment for Lance than it had been for her. I laughed quietly to myself when I remembered how out-of-place he'd looked on his bike, cruising around the community. How my neighbors had looked at him in surprise when he'd walked Gigi to the park and played with her. They hadn't expected a tough-looking guy like him to be so silly with his little girl, or so committed to her happiness. Once they figured out he was the real deal, they'd been much more accepting. He'd managed to come around on them, too, and by the time a year passed, they were all pretty good friends.
His priority after Gigi and me was the club, and he spent most of his time there when we weren't together. Still, he always came home for dinner. He'd found a way to balance his work and the rest of his life, though it took a little practice at first. Erica and Traci had shoved him out the door those first few months, ordering him to go home to be with his little family. Eventually, he hadn't needed the help.
Not that we never visited. I wasn't keen on Gigi spending too much time there, but we stopped in from time to time after school or on the weekends. I chatted with the girls while Gigi fleeced the guys in poker. They were her guardian angels, and I had no fear of them being a bad influence … so long as we left after an hour or two.
The biggest joy of my life, aside from being with Lance, was watching Gigi blossom. She'd always been smart, articulate, curious. The year without her mother had also given her confidence, new interests in learning piano and guitar, singing, dancing. She was a leader, too, like her father. When she ran for secretary of student council, she'd won-at only eight years old. The other kids were ten or eleven.
We weren't married, Lance and I. We weren't even engaged. Still, Gigi had been calling me "Mom" since somewhere around mid-summer. It just happened one day. Just came out of her mouth. She'd looked surprised at herself when she said it, and worried that I wouldn't react well. All I did was smile to encourage her. I loved the way it sounded, even if it wasn't technically true.
I thought about it as she climbed out of the car in front of the school to meet up with some friends. "See ya later, Mom!" She ran over to them, chatting excitedly, while I drove around to the parking lot. I might not have technically been her mother, but what was a mother? Rae was her mother-she'd borne her, anyway-but she'd handed her over to pay off a drug debt. I'd thrown myself over her to protect her. Which one of us was actually her mom?
I'd done more than that since moving her in with me. I'd taught her to cook, helped her with piano lessons, helped her with homework. Introduced her to my favorite old movies. Taught her to roller skate and ride a bike. Taken her to doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, practices. I'd sat up with her the night she had that twenty-four-hour stomach bug, and again when she caught a bad cold over the winter. I thought about her the minute I woke up in the morning and just before I closed my eyes at night. If that wasn't a mother, what was?
The one person who I'd thought would have the most difficulty with that adjustment was Lance, but he was every inch the father I'd dreamed he would be. He taught her other things. How to fix a motorcycle. How to fight back if anybody ever picked a fistfight-but only if they started it, he always reminded her. He let her read stories to him. He'd even let her fix his hair once, though I wasn't supposed to be home from the store for an hour so he didn't think I'd ever find out. I'd been sworn to secrecy.
We made a good team, balancing each other out, filling in for each other when one or the other just didn't have it in them to read another story or listen to another poorly-played song on the piano. At the end of the day, we collapsed into bed together.
And it had only been a year. I couldn't wait to see what the future held.
Epilogue II
Lance
"She's gonna love it!" Erica and Traci were in awe. Erica held the box, tilting it from side to side, watching the way the diamonds caught the light.
"Are you sure?"
"Am I sure?" Erica glanced at me. "I'd cut a bitch for a ring like this. She's lucky we all love her."
I chuckled, and she handed the box back with a sigh. "She's gonna be so surprised, too. She has no idea this is coming."
"You're sure? I mean, you talked to her yesterday, and she didn't give you a clue she knew?"
"Nada," Traci said, patting me on the back. "You'll get the surprise you want."
"Yeah, but will I get the answer I want?"
They looked at me like I had three heads. "You can't be serious," Erica muttered, glaring at me with her arms crossed.
"Hell yeah! I'm serious. You don't know what it's like for a guy, trying to ask a woman to marry him. I'm sick to my stomach over it." I put the box in the pocket of my kutte. It felt a lot heavier than it really was.
"She loves you. She loves Gigi. Of course she's gonna marry you. Shoot, she might marry you just so she can adopt Gigi." Traci winked.
I groaned. "Don't fuck with me right now, okay?"
"Okay, okay. I'm only teasing. Jeez." She held up her hands and walked out of the office.
"Really, though," Erica said, winking. "She'll say yes. It's a sure thing." She left, too, closing the door.
I sighed, leaning back in my chair. I crossed my ankles on top of the desk and thought about what I was going to do in a few hours. I had wanted to ask her to marry me for a year, but I wanted the timing to be right. I wanted to be sure she wanted my kid and me, that she wouldn't change her mind when she figured out it wasn't all gonna be fun and games.
I should've known better, knowing her. She wasn't the type who would cut ties and run just because something was hard. She doubled down and worked even harder to get through it. She was the best mother any kid could ask for, and the best girlfriend I could imagine. I still didn't think I deserved her, and used to ask myself sometimes what the hell she saw in a guy like me. She could've had anybody she wanted, anybody in the world. The sort of guy who lived in her neighborhood, the rich guys with their nice clothes and nice cars. I would never be one of them-she never asked me to be, either.
I remembered how uncomfortable I used to feel when I first moved in. I used to feel the stares from the neighbors when I rode my bike down the street. I was used to people staring-I never cared before then whether people liked me or not. I'd never cared about fitting in. Hell, I didn't want to fit in. I loved making people uncomfortable when I was younger. Before I met Jamie.
I didn't want her to be ashamed of me, but I wasn't going to change who I was. I still took Gigi to the park and walked around with her. We even got a dog when she begged us to-she had always wanted one, but Rae would never let her get one. Probably a good thing for the dog. Neighbors used to watch us walk by. Sometimes I would hear them muttering to each other. It was then I figured out I might make Gigi ashamed of me one day, too.
After a while, everybody accepted me, and I found out they weren't so bad either. I helped the lady across the street when she had problems with her kitchen sink, and she baked us a cake. I helped the neighbor two doors down to put in his deck, and he had us over for a cookout when it was finished. It was a good feeling, knowing they liked me. I could tell it made Jamie happy, too.
The box was still in my pocket, burning a hole. I couldn't stop thinking about it. What would she look like when I took it out? What would she say? Yes, I hoped. What else, though? Would she cry? Would she tell me she never thought about us getting married? Was she happier the way things were? Did she still wanna be able to escape one day if she felt like it?
No. She wasn't the type. Just like she wasn't the type to leave when she figured out being a mom wasn't just baking cookies and braiding hair.
It didn't keep me from worrying, though.
A few hours later, everything was perfect. Traci and Erica set up candles all over the bar, which I lit when the time came for Jamie and Gigi to show up. There were flowers everywhere, and a bottle of champagne waited behind the bar. I made everybody clear out. The girls hugged me before they left.
"Have her call us when it's over!" Erica said, waving from her car. I waved back, then hoped she would have something good to say when she called.
Just as Erica pulled out, Jamie pulled in. I went inside to wait for them. This was it.
The door opened. Gigi came in first, giggling. She ran to me. I shushed her, and we waited for Jamie.
"I thought you said you would help me carry this bag inside," Jamie called out. Then she looked up and saw the room.
"What is this?"
"Another surprise for you!" Gigi laughed, clapping. "We got you again!"
I didn't laugh. My palms were sweaty, my heart raced. I didn't know what to say.
"Another surprise? I don't think my heart can take much more of this today." She smiled at Gigi, but when she looked at me, something in her eyes changed. Her smile changed, too. Softer, warmer.
"You did this?"
"I can't take credit. Erica and Traci."
"I have to thank them, then." She kissed me. "What a nice anniversary surprise!"
"This isn't everything." I glanced down at Gigi, and she nodded. Just like we planned, she moved off to the side so I could have a little space. I took a deep breath and hoped everybody was right when they said she'd say yes.