Hardcore:Storm MC(111)

"I want Lance to take her," Rae said.



I scoffed. "I would hope so." No way I would let her have Gigi after what she did. I would have paid whatever it took to take her to court and wipe the floor with her.   





 



"Rae's gonna sign custody over to me. I'm gonna send her to rehab so she can clean up her act."



I glanced at Rae. "What, you think you can get back into her good graces when you're sober?"



She shook her head. "No. I need to get outta here. Away from everything. I'm not coming back." She smiled sadly. "I was never cut out to be a mother. I did my best." She looked me in the eye again, without me telling her to. "I did my best. You've gotta believe that. You don't know how it is, living with something like I do. It's hell."



I didn't have anything to say in response. "You're sure you want this?" I asked Lance.



"Of course I do. I want my daughter." Something inside me glowed with pride. He was the man I hoped he was. He would stand up and do what was right for his little girl. "I want my daughter's mother to be okay, too. She didn't do as bad a job as she could have. Believe me, I know." His eyes went a little unfocused, a little distant.



I was a little shocked at how well he was taking everything, though. He wasn't angry, but maybe resentful. I wondered if he was really the best answer for Gigi. Would he be there for her, twenty-four seven? Would he clean up his act? Would he have the patience and free time for her? His club had been the focus of his life for so long-would the switch be easy on him? I doubted it. I didn't love the idea of Gigi having to deal with his growing pains. She had been through enough already, more than any kid her age should ever go through.



Rae stood up. "I'm gonna go now." She walked out of the room without another word. Without even a backward glance. I listened as the front door opened and closed. I didn't know how she'd get home, and I didn't care.



Lance stood, too. "She won't go to rehab," he murmured. "She only said that so she wouldn't look like the piece of shit person she is."



"You think she'll stay around?"



He shrugged. "I don't much care anymore. As long as she hands Gigi over to me, she can do whatever she wants."



I looked up at him, wondering. "You're sure you're ready for this?"



"Who is when they have a kid? The only difference is I don't have to change diapers. I'm okay with that." He gave me a tired smile.



"It's a huge lifestyle change, though."



"You think I don't know that?" He narrowed his eyes. "You're still trying to get me to give her to you. Is that it?"



I shook my head, totally serious. "Not at all."



"You're serious?"



I nodded. "Deadly. I don't have what it takes to be a mother to her."



Lance crouched in front of me, no longer joking. "What the hell are you talking about? You sound nuts. Maybe you do have a concussion." He held my chin, looking into my eyes like he was checking to see if they were focused.



I pushed his hand away gently. "I'm fine. I mean what I'm saying. I don't have what it takes. I'm too selfish. This whole time I thought I knew better than anybody else how to take care of her. It wasn't about her. It was about my ego. I had to be the hero, you know? I had to save the day. I knew it all, I could save her. What a joke."



"Where's this coming from? The way I heard it, you just about got yourself killed trying to stop them from taking my kid. That sounds like something a mother would do, doesn't it?"



I shook my head. "You don't understand. I should have been here with her instead of at my house. I didn't take you seriously when you said we were in danger-that she was in danger. I sat around, hanging out, while that pig was kidnapping her. He might have killed Erica. She fought back at least. She did what she had to do."



"Right, and it didn't matter either way. You can't see things that didn't happen-I mean, you can't sit there and say you would have fought him off. He would've hurt you. He hurt you in that room, didn't he?" He touched the back of his head, referencing my injury.



"Yes, that's true."



"You did what you could when it counted. You went there to protect her."



"I should've called you."



That stopped him. He frowned, thinking it over. "Maybe you should have. Yeah. Now we know."



"What? We know I should call you the next time your daughter is kidnapped?"



He cocked his head to the side, smirking. "We know we're a team. You can't take everything on by yourself. I can't take everything on alone either. We have to work together. Especially if we're gonna be raising a little girl."



It took a moment for his words to sink in. My face went slack, my jaw hung open. He smiled, closing my mouth with a finger under my chin. Then he caressed my jaw-gently, hardly touching me, his brow furrowed.



"What are you saying?" I asked in a whisper.



"It's a lot to ask. I know that. But I was thinking … you're right. I can't do it alone. And yeah, I have a lot of people here." He nodded toward the lounge outside the office, and I knew he meant the club. "It's not the same as having a mom, though. I know you love her. She loves you. I know you would lay it all down for her, too. I don't hafta to be a genius to know the right thing here."



I was speechless. When I finally stopped screaming in my head long enough to think straight, I whispered, "How? How would we do this?"



He looked at my hands. "I thought … you would stay. Maybe. If you wanted to."



I could hardly breathe. It felt like my chest would explode from the size of my heart as it grew and grew.



"You mean it? Like … what, as a nanny or something?" I hoped it wasn't what he meant, but I couldn't take any chances. I didn't want my heart broken when I assumed the wrong thing.



"No." He looked at me, frowning. "That wasn't what I meant at all. I want you. You. I want you to stay."



"Oh," I breathed. It was all I could do.



"You're not gonna make this easy on me. Okay, fine." He took a deep breath. "I love you."



The tears in my eyes made his face blur in front of me, but it looked like he was smiling.



"You're not just saying that after tonight?" I asked.



"Why can't you ever make anything easy? I love you. Isn't that enough?"



"Of course it is. I just want to be sure. I don't want you to feel like you should say it after everything that happened tonight."



"No way. I love you. I fucking love you. That's it. Even if you don't wanna stay with me, I'll still fucking love you."



I laughed, my hand shooting up to my jaw when pain zipped through it. He frowned.



"I could kill that bastard for touching you," he growled.



"It's okay. He'll get what's coming to him." I could hardly believe how happy that thought made me.



"So? What do you think? I mean, no pressure. Don't feel like you have to just because I love you and would probably die if you left me."



I shook my head, grinning. "No pressure at all."



"None." He grinned, too.



"You know I love you." I took his face in my hands, marveling at the way life worked out sometimes, before his lips met mine in a gentle, sweet kiss I wished could last forever.





Chapter Twenty-Nine



Lance





The next morning, I woke up with the sun in my eyes. I never closed the blinds before falling into bed. I was probably asleep before my head hit the pillow.



I slept so deeply, in fact, that it was a surprise when I woke up and found Gigi in bed with Jamie and me. It made sense. I wouldn't want to sleep alone if I were her.



They didn't look anything alike, but I had never seen two people remind me more of a mother and daughter. Jamie was on her stomach-her tailbone and head wouldn't let her sleep on her back-with one arm over Gigi. Gigi looked comfortable, relaxed. Even with her dark hair and face that looked just like mine, she could have been blonde-haired Jamie's little girl.



I closed my eyes and said another prayer. I was getting big on the whole praying thing, but I had a lot of time to make up for, too. I thanked whoever was listening for the chance to be with Jamie and Gigi again. I was never so thankful in my life as I was then.



I wondered what Gigi dreamed about after the night she had. Jamie, too. I hadn't dreamed at all. I was out cold. I hoped they were the same. I didn't want my daughter to have nightmares after what happened. I would do everything in my power to make sure she never had to go through anything like that again-or anything like she went through living with Rae.



She said she would see the lawyer with me the next day. He'd have the papers ready. I couldn't wait for her to sign them. I never thought I would be so excited about being a father. Was this me? Really? The same Lance who used to kick women out of bed when he woke up with them? Who didn't know their name or remember anything about what they did together?   





 



I liked myself more than I did then. That was a big deal.



Gigi moved, rubbing her face on the pillow. I watched and waited, wondering if she would wake up. She opened her eyes. I smiled.



"Good morning," I mouthed.