Hard as Stone(90)

“Patience!” Harmony gaped, her eyes going wide as she felt her cheeks begin to burn.

“Hmmm. I can see by the fetching shade of bright red your face is turning that he was and they did,” Patience cackled, propping a hip against the porch banister. “So, are we talkin’ cucumber or banana?”

“What?” Harmony choked, shaking her head at her crazy sister’s probing questions.

“His dick, Harmony! Chicken snake or mighty Python?” she asked unrepentantly, an impish smile curving her lips. “C’mon! I watched your kid so your hoo-hah could get the workout it’s needed for freaking years! Help your little sister out here. Let me live vicariously through you. Jake looks like he’d be packin’. Is he packin’?” she asked eagerly.

“I am not telling you about Jake’s no-no, Patience Orla McKinnon!” Harmony proclaimed, shaking her head vigorously as her sister’s face crumbled.

“Fine!” Patience mock pouted. “I’ll just use my imagination,” she said, closing her eyes and tilting her face toward the sky. “And in my mind, that man is hung.”

Harmony couldn’t help it. She giggled. “You’ve got a good imagination.”

Cracking one eyelid, Patience smirked. “I knew it. No man can look that fine and not be packing at least seven inches.”

“Closer to nine,” Harmony admitted sheepishly.

“You lucky bitch,” Patience snarled under her breath, throwing a glare at her sister. “On behalf of all sexually frustrated, single women everywhere, I think I have to hate you a little now,” she said grimly as Honor’s car pulled into the driveway.

Rolling her eyes, Harmony waited until Honor pulled behind Patience, parking carefully and turning the engine off before she and Faith slid out of the car. Waving when she saw Honor looking around for them, she called, “Hey! We’re up here.”

“What’s going on?” Honor asked immediately. “What’s so big an emergency that we couldn’t talk about it at the café? And where is Jake?”

“Jake’s not here and hopefully won’t be back for some time,” Harmony answered as her remaining two sisters climbed the steps toward her and Patience.

Faith’s blond ponytail swung in the wind as she jogged up the steps in front of Honor, her hands stuffed in the front pockets of her Tennessee Titans sweatshirt. “How you doin’, sweetie? You sounded off when you called me this morning.”

“According to my sources, she did about nine inches last night. She shoulda sounded thrilled…or in pain. Isn’t anything over seven inches considered just for show and tell? What kinda heat is Cain packing, Faith? We talkin’ pistol or assault rifle?”

Faith’s lips twitched in response. “I’m not gonna talk outta school, but let’s say that my husband has more than enough ammunition to keep my chamber secure.”

“Bitch,” Patience muttered.

Her eyes drifting over Harmony, Patience and Faith with a kind of horrified fascination, Honor shook her head. “Please tell me that this is not what we’re here to discuss,” she demanded, one hand on her hip. Tugging the edges of her peacock blue coat together, she pursed her lips. “I, for one, am not interested in what your men have between their legs.”

“That’s good, but I seriously bet that Zeke…” Patience began, stopped when Faith slapped a palm over her moving mouth.

“Don’t finish that,” she muttered out the side of her mouth. “The Sheriff is a sore subject this morning.”

“Why?” Harmony asked, looking to Honor.

Honor stomped her foot on the wooden step as she drew in a deep breath. “That man! He showed up at the front door this morning and informed me that I was riding to work with him. When I asked him why, he went on about how crime was on the rise and I had to be careful. I told him I was more than capable of seeing to myself and had been doin’ it for years, and that blasted man had the audacity to roll his eyes at me! First thing in the morning! I hadn’t even had my first cup of coffee and…. Oh, blast! The man’s insufferable!”

Harmony’s eyebrows lifted as her gaze shifted to Faith as she took up the story.

“Long story cut real short…our baby sister nearly ran the esteemed sheriff down this morning with her car when she decided she wouldn’t be takin’ the kind offer of Zeke’s escort,” Faith shared, trying desperately not to laugh.

“If he’d offered, I might have considered it, Faith. He ordered. There’s a difference,” Honor bit out sharply.