“I was five months along before I even wanted her… before I felt like she was anything but a burden I was carrying around,” Harmony admitted in a small voice. Drawing a deep breath, Harmony lifted her head to look at Jacob. “I can tell you when how I felt changed, though….right down to the moment. It was the first time I felt Heaven move inside me. It was also the first time Honor spoke a word after she was kidnapped,” she explained in a voice that still trembled.
“Tell me, baby,” Jacob urged gently.
“Honor was curled up on the couch, restin’ her head against my belly while we both pretended to be watchin’ some silly television show. Honor never spoke then. Hell, she barely reacted to anything at all. She just… existed. I was playing with her hair, thinking about how in the world I was gonna be a momma to a baby that I didn’t want when I felt Heaven haul off and kick me in the ribs. It was almost like she was punishin’ me for thinking such garbage. I must have gasped or something because a heartbeat later, Honor’s little head lifted off me. Her eyes… Honor’s eyes had been vacant for so long, Jake. It was almost like she didn’t even live in her body anymore after what happened. But that kick… it was like Heaven woke her up. She woke us both up,” she shared in a watery voice. “I can still hear Honor’s voice that night, Jake. She said, ‘That’s our baby, Harmony. She’s ours, not his. We fought a band of demons for her, and they got their pounds of flesh from both of us in payment. But Harmony, we got her. She’s our reward. She’s the prize we earned for surviving hell. Don’t let the memory of a bad man take that miracle from both of us. That baby you’re carrying is proof that there really is a Heaven.’.”
“Heaven,” Jacob repeated with a faint smile.
Harmony nodded. “Heaven brought my sister back to us, and from that night on, I did my best. I ate right. I exercised. I was careful. I couldn’t undo all the hurtful things I’d said about her or take back the awful thoughts I’d had, but I made up my mind to be the best mother that I could. I never saw my baby as anything other than mine after Honor set me straight. But still, the things that I’d done and the way I acted then….” Her voice broke again as a choked sob escaped her lips. “I don’t deserve her. I’ll never deserve the unconditional love my daughter brought into my life.”
Jacob had kept his hands off her for as long as he could, but watching her small body folding in on itself, he couldn’t keep still any longer. Wrapping a long arm around her back as he shifted beside her, he pulled her into his chest, muffling her cries. For years, he’d sworn that there was nothing and no one he’d put above his badge and his need for vengeance for his sister’s death. As he felt Harmony’s tiny arms snake around his waist while her head burrowed against his throat and her tears dampened his skin, he knew those days were gone. Those feelings had been replaced by a far greater need.
The need to protect.
The need to shelter.
And lastly, the far greater need to keep Harmony, now that he’d found her, in his life.
Chapter Twelve
An hour later, Jacob Stone was certain of exactly three things.
First, there was a God.
Second, that God – the one he’d just decided existed - was out to screw with him. He had to be.
He had to be because third, Harmony McKinnon was absolutely the right woman for him at the wrong fucking time in his life.
He’d broken her. He’d coerced her into confiding all her deep dark secrets, finally completely clearing her in his mind of any former or potential wrong-doing once and for all, and he’d fucking broken her!
He was a dick. He deserved to have his own ass handed to him. He wished he could plant a fist in his own jaw. Of course, none of that would stop the tears that were still flowing out of her. “Fuck,” he hissed under his breath, keeping one eye on where she’d curled up on her side on his couch, still sobbing, as he searched through his cabinets for something that might calm her. He’d spent the last hour holding her, even pulling her in his lap and rocking her against him, but nothing had stopped the tears. Running a restless hand through his hair, he fought the urge to punch the wall. Jesus Christ, he felt like a monster for insisting she talk through her experiences with Tanner Suarez.
He’d known enough; he hadn’t really needed to know it all, had he?
Turning to look at her fully when he heard her breath hitch roughly from across the room, he grimaced. At this rate, she was going to make herself sick. How was that for a memorable first date? Flowers, check. Wine, check. Drive your date to the edge of her sanity, fucking check!