Hard as Stone(33)

“Yeah, but not all kids run off the moment they get handed a diploma and marry their parents’ worst nightmare. That’s what I did, Jacob,” she countered sadly, stray tears forming in her eyes at the thought. “My Momma and Daddy fought with me for two years about Tanner. They saw the way he treated me… the way he demeaned me. But I thought I knew everything. He loved me. He didn’t tell me that I looked fat in my shorts to hurt me; he was helping me. If he made me wash the makeup off my face, it was because he’d been around enough to know what whores looked like. If he wanted me to meet him at eight o’clock on a school night, he was a busy guy so I should make myself available. He was his own man. He was older. He was smarter. He was self-confident enough to say whatever he felt like to whoever he felt like saying it and screw the rest of the world. I swear, if I could go back in time and bitch slap myself, I would.”

Taking another sip of wine, Harmony blew out a long breath. “At any rate, I knew my parents would never accept Tanner willingly, so as soon as I graduated, off we went. I felt like such a grown up… going off to Gatlinburg, eloping in secret. I was going to live a real-life romance novel, or so I thought. When we got home a couple of days later, my parents were nearly out of their minds with worry. I hadn’t told anybody what we were doing. I knew somebody would try to stop me if I did. So, when I showed up at the house with my cheap-ass Walmart wedding ring that Tanner had complained about buying but I was soooo proud to be wearing on my finger, my Momma cried. No, she didn’t just cry. She sobbed. She begged me to tell her why on earth I’d gone off and ruined my life like that? I can still hear her, Jacob. ‘I raised you better than this, Harmony Pearl! Why? Why would you do this to yourself? Where did I go wrong that my child would go off and do something like this?’ My father told me that I had two choices. The family or Tanner. I couldn’t have both. It had to be one or the other. ”

Swallowing the painful lump of emotion clogging her throat as she heard her Daddy’s voice whisper through her mind, Harmony blinked hard. “I chose wrong,” she whispered, her voice thin. “Really, really wrong. Every day, I wish I could go back and tell Tanner to go to hell when he told my daddy to go screw himself and for me to get my skinny ass in the car.” She barely noticed the tears running down her cheeks now, but felt Jacob’s gentle fingers blotting the wetness.

“That’s enough for now, Harmony. You don’t need to say anything else, baby,” he murmured.

If she’d looked up, she’d have seen his intense eyes burning with anger, but she kept her head bent as she shook her head. “No, you wanted to know what happened, and I haven’t even gotten to the really good parts,” she informed him in a cracking voice.

“Baby, don’t do this to yourself. I know enough now,” Jacob argued, his hand gentle as he tilted her head so that she’d look in his eyes. “You don’t have to say anything else.”

Oh, he could not be serious, Harmony thought, beginning to steam through her sorrow. He couldn’t leave well enough alone and now he wanted her to stop? Fuck him. He could just sit there and suffer. After trying so hard to avoid this conversation, there was no way in hell she was going to allow him to escape the hard, cold facts surrounding her fucked-up decision making abilities.

“Fucking typical,” she spat, her damp eyes flashing dangerously as she glared at him. “A man always wants what he wants until you fucking give it to him. Then, when they don’t get what they expect, they want you to shut it down. Well, screw you. You wanted me to talk. I’m talking!” Harmony yelled angrily through her tears. “You pushed and pushed and pushed. This is what you get! The unvarnished truth, Jacob. You can damn well sit there and listen to what you just had to hear!” Taking deep breaths as she turned her anger at herself on him, she clutched her wineglass like a lifeline. How dare he try to stop her now? After bullying her into sharing her pain, he could damn well sit there and swallow it.

Jacob’s jaw clenched, but he nodded. “You’re right,” he softly agreed. “Keep going. I think maybe you let the poison fester inside you too long as it is.”

Swiping an agitated hand against her cheek, Harmony narrowed her eyes on the man sitting next to her. “Oh, do you think so? Haven’t you ever had something hurt you so badly that you knew the best thing you could do was lock it up tight in your mind and leave it the hell alone? Tanner is an open wound that never goes away for me, Jake. I’ve learned, though, that as long as I don’t pick at the sore, I can bear the pain. You just rubbed it raw.”