But there it was, and she was stuck with it, and it was really lowering to think that she could be enviousness of Imogen's happiness. The girl had been far too serious when Suzanne had met her, and if the state of her jacked-up ponytail at the moment was any indication, Ty had loosened her screws up nicely.
"That's fantastic, honey. I'm glad you're having fun and that you didn't get mauled by a bear." Imogen laughed. "That is probably a plus. So next weekend I'm going to fly to Texas for the race. Ty says the next few weeks decide the championship. Do you want to go? Tamara said she was in, and she's bringing the kids."
Suzanne took a sip of her drink, and set it back down. "I don't think so, but thanks." Imogen's face fell. "Why not? Do you already have plans?"
"Sort of. But even if I didn't, I wouldn't go. You're going to be staying with Ty, and Tammy and the kids will be in Elec's coach. That leaves me getting a hotel room by myself while the two of you are getting bounced. If I want to sleep alone, I can do that at home and I won't have to foot the bill for a room." Nor did she even want to consider how long it had been since she'd had sex.
But Imogen looked downright upset at her honesty, and Suzanne felt like shit. "I'm sorry, that sounded bitchy as hell. I didn't mean it like that, Imogen. I'm really happy for you that you and Ty are hitting it off, but I just don't want to be a third wheel."
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't think about it from your perspective. I guess I was picturing you and Tamara and I spending some girl time together during the day."
"And that would be fun, it really would. I love hanging with my girls. But this way you all can go and have a romantic weekend and I'll take care of some things at home."
"Like what?" Imogen asked.
Suzanne knew Imogen was just innately curious, and normally she didn't mind it, but tonight she was feeling a little sorry for herself. She didn't really want to talk about it, but she knew Imogen would keep asking. "Well, you know how I used to be a wedding planner? I'm going back into the business, and I'm meeting with a potential client this weekend. Next weekend I'll be scouting out venues and DJs and getting myself familiar with the local wedding scene again."
"Wow. What prompted this? I thought you said you didn't really care for being a wedding planner because you always wanted to do it your way instead of the client's way."
"I did. I do." Suzanne shredded her cocktail napkin. "It's very hard to sit there and listen to some bride say she wants an elegant reception with naked monkeys as a theme. But it's sort of the only skill I have."
"But what about your board work on the children's charity? And your cakes?"
"I might have to scale back on the board, but I'll squeeze my cakes in still. I'm not giving that up." That was her pride and her passion, baking birthday cakes for terminally ill children who might not live to see their next birthdays. The more elaborate the cake, the better, and she loved seeing their eyes light up in delight.
Imogen was staring at her with those intelligent eyes, and it unnerved Suzanne. "What?" she asked, a little defensively.
"Why are you going back to something you don't enjoy at the sacrifice of what you love?" Imogen asked softly.
Suzanne glanced over at the bar. Where the hell was their waitress? She needed another drink. "I need the money. My alimony runs out at the end of this year. I should have done this a long time ago, but I was enjoying my time off. But now I'm going to be shit out of luck if I don't get off my ass and generate an income." Waving her hand at the waitress, she added, "Another reason I can't go to Texas. I can't afford
the airfare or the hotel."
Boo hoo her. God, she hated sounding so damn pathetic, but it was the truth. She had been ignoring reality and now it was biting her in the butt.
"Suzanne, I had no idea. I just assumed you had a settlement or that your position on the board was paying." Imogen looked stunned. "That wasn't very long for alimony."
"Half the length of the marriage. Two years. We were married for four." And for fuck's sake, was she actually going to cry? She better well be getting her period and this was just PMS, because she had no time to get weepy. It wasn't like she and Ryder had just broken up. It was old news, and she needed to get a serious grip. "He gave me a lump sum of money, which I used to buy my condo. But I still have bills, and without the alimony, I need some kind of income."
"Well, I'm sure you're a fabulous wedding planner, despite your irritations with the clients. You have amazing taste and you're incredibly organized. I imagine some of your previous clients would be willing to give you referrals to get you started again. Who is the potential client? Is it a big wedding or something small?"
Suzanne appreciated that Imogen was just being matter-of-fact about the situation and not commenting on the demise of her marriage. "Here's the kicker." This was actually ridiculous enough to make her smile. "The bride to be is Nikki Borden."
Imogen's jaw dropped. "What? Are you serious ? She and Ty just broke up!"
"I know. The girl wastes no time whatsoever. And she wants a Christmas wedding, and is willing to pay out the nose to make it happen."
"Who is the groom? Is it the guy she was making out with on the hood of my car?"
"Yep. Jonas Strickland. Nice enough guy, but he clearly doesn't have the sense God gave a goat if he's saddling himself with Nikki after a week of dating. I mean, who falls in love in a week?"
"Yeah, exactly," Imogen muttered, frowning down at the table. "That's insane. Isn't it?"
"Yes, it is," Suzanne said firmly, alarmed at the look on her friend's face. She wasn't fancying herself in love with Ty, was she? Would no one ever learn?
Suzanne shook off the feeling that she was embarking on a career as the most cynical wedding planner ever, and said, "I'll give Nikki credit. She moves fast. She has her engagement ring already and she's talking about a two-hundred-guest affair. I have a feeling that she's going to leave all the details to me because of the tight time frame, and because, well, she's a dingbat, so that works for me. More money, less irritating interference."
Imogen made a sound in the back of her throat that was something between a laugh and a sob. Then she covered her face with her hands.
Suzanne sat up straighter and leaned toward her friend. What the hell was that all about? "Imogen, what's wrong? Are you okay, sweetie?"
Imogen shifted her hands to her cheeks. "How is it possible that I could feel this, whatever I'm feeling, for a guy who spent the last four months with Nikki? We are absolutely nothing alike. So which one of us is his real type, and which one of us was he/is he just biding his time with?" Oh, Lord. Suzanne took the last remaining sip of her drink, sucking the straw aggressively to get every last drop. "Honey, I don't think there's doubt in anyone's mind that he was just fooling around with Nikki. She was convenient, plain and simple. And you can bet your Yankee ass he never took Nikki into the woods." Though Suzanne might have paid money to witness that.
"You really think so?"
"Yes, I do. Ty likes you, for real. The man quoted Shakespeare to you!" Which Suzanne still found hard to believe. "I'm telling you, if you're interested in making up stupid shit to worry about, by all means, start comparing yourself to Nikki. But if want to be rational, accept the fact that the man is into you in the right way and just enjoy it." She rethought her wording. "And that wasn't meant to be a sexual innuendo." Imogen gave another monstrous sigh. "I think I'm going to go home. Maybe I just need a good night's sleep. Are you ready to go?"
Suzanne had, in fact, made eye contact with the waitress already and ordered another drink, and she didn't intend to waste it. "You go ahead. I'm going to stay here and make a couple phone calls, then
head out in about ten minutes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep." Suzanne got up when Imogen did and gave her a hug. "Maybe you need to give some thought to what you really want from Ty, hon. It sounds to me like you're falling for him." Imogen's dark blue eyes were wide and troubled. "I am."
What the hell did she say to that? There was no sense in telling Imogen to put the brakes on; that never worked. So she might as well enjoy the drive before they crashed. "Then have fun! Enjoy it, and think about what that means and where you want this to go."