Hard Tail(5)

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. But what about your staff?" I was hazy as to the actual number of his employees, but I knew he had some, or one, at least. He'd asked me for advice on PAYE, and I'd put him in touch with a local payroll company. "Why can't they run the shop? Isn't that what you're paying them for?"

"Well, there's only Matt," Jay said slowly. "And he can handle all the repairs and stuff, no problem. But he's, well-put it this way: remember Auntie Pat and her Dulux dog?"

"Big, shaggy, gormless thing that used to jump on everyone and knock over all the furniture?" Now, alas, humping legs and anointing lamp posts in doggy heaven.

"Yeah, well, that's pretty much Matt for you. He's a great bloke, honestly he is, and a wizard at fixing up bikes, but you can't leave him alone in the shop for more than a couple of hours." Jay laughed. "He's got a black eye at the moment. Tripped over his own doormat and landed on his face on the stair rail, the silly sod!"

Great. That was just what I needed when I was feeling my way around a new job: someone who'd likely as not trip me up and send me flying.

"Oh-and I'd better mention it now: he's gay. That's not going to be a problem with you, is it? Tim?" He said my name a bit more sharply than the rest; I guess my face must have given something away. I've always been rubbish at hiding my reactions; sometimes I feel like a TV set with the subtitles permanently turned on. Or maybe if I looked over my shoulder there'd be a little man hovering there giving a sign language translation. "For fuck's sake," Jay went on, "this is the twenty-first century. And don't worry. He's got a boyfriend already, and you are really not his type."

"I-" I realised my mouth was hanging open and closed it so fast I nearly broke a tooth. "I'm not homophobic!"

"Yeah, right. You should look at your face in the mirror next time someone mentions the gay word. What the hell is your problem?"

He was more bewildered than angry. That's Jay all over. He's so bloody laid-back he can't understand anyone ever having a negative opinion on anything anyone else does. "I haven't got a problem with it, all right?"

"Just as long as Matt doesn't find out. I'm not having you pissing off my staff while you're playing at being a shopkeeper, all right? 

How did this happen? How does this always happen?

Is there anyone else in the world so good at asking for a favour, and at the same time making it sound like he's doing you a favour?

I hope not.

"Anyway, you can stay at my house. Kate won't mind you being away for a few weeks, will she? It'll probably do you both good-absence makes the tart grow blonder, and all that. Not that I'm implying Kate's a tart, obviously." He grinned. "Except when you want her to be."

"She-" My voice caught unexpectedly. I cleared my throat. "Actually, she's left me. Yesterday."

"What? No way! Shit, really?" Jay's face was suddenly so miserable it made me feel bad to look at it. "Tim, listen, I'm really sorry. Do you think she'll come back?"

I shook my head. "No. She's met someone else." I shrugged. "He's a decent bloke. I'm sure she'll be better off with him."

Jay clutched my arm, his big, rough-skinned hand a solid comfort. "She's an idiot, mate. Didn't know when she was well off. Look, if there's anything I can do, anything at all, you tell me, right?"

And that's why I agreed to look after the shop for him.

Because even though he's an arrogant, self-centred layabout and has always taken me-and the rest of the world-for granted, he's my big brother.

And he never lets me forget it.

***

Jay's house was on the outskirts of Eling. I'd never actually seen it before-I mean, I'd been down to see Jay since he'd moved in, obviously, but we'd always done pub lunches. Just like when he'd been up to see me and Kate, we'd gone out to restaurants. Although, come to think of it, we'd insisted on giving Jay the Grand Tour of the house first. Well, just as soon as we'd got it looking nice. And avoiding the fourth bedroom, about which Kate and the decorators had had a bit of a disagreement and which consequently got left half done.

Outskirts, by the way, are pretty much all there is to Eling, as far as I'd been able to tell on such limited acquaintance with the place. That and the Tide Mill, advertised on brown tourist information signs all over town. I'd always assumed it was some kind of watermill except with tides rather than a stream. Now I came to think of it, it seemed unlikely there was an enormous waterwheel sitting there, waiting to be turned twice a day. Maybe I should take a look sometime. It wasn't like I'd be that busy after work. I didn't know a soul down here apart from Jay, and even if any of his friends popped round, I doubted we'd have much in common. Apart, of course, from a difficulty in believing Jay and I were actually related.