Hard Tail(36)

Russell put his card away while I bagged up the helmet, lights and other bits and pieces Matt had managed to flog him. Luke and Matt were still deep in conversation down the front of the shop, although at a lower volume now so I couldn't hear what they were talking about anymore. "Is it difficult?" I blurted out.

"Having a good-looking boyfriend, you mean?" Russell asked.

"Having a boyfriend," I clarified quietly, one eye still on the other two. Luke seemed to be giving Matt a hard time about something.

Russell looked thoughtful. "I suppose I've always been lucky, really," he said. "I never had any trouble with my family-think they were just glad I'd finally found someone." His beard twitched as he smiled. "Luke's had a bit of a hard time of it, though. He's a journalist-it's a bit of a macho culture. Sometimes he gets … comments. But his dad's speaking to him again now."

"But it's worth it?" I persisted.

"Oh, yeah. Definitely." Russell's gaze rested on Luke as he spoke, and there was so much affection in his tone I felt faintly embarrassed, like I'd walked in on them snogging on the sofa. "You're, um, not out, then?"

I flushed. I hadn't realised I'd been quite that obvious. "No." I cleared my throat. "I'm not."

"Maybe you should give it a go," he suggested gently. "While you're down here, I mean. Do a sort of trial run before you have to go back to London."

His words sent a thrill of excitement-and trepidation-right through me. I hadn't even considered the possibility of coming out of the closet on a temporary basis and going straight (hah!) back in if I found the big, wide, gay world didn't suit. But Russell was right. As long as I was careful, I could try things out here, and no one from my old life in London would ever know. No big coming-out drama; no shame if it all went tits-up. "Is there, er, much of a scene here?" I whispered, my gaze darting in all directions as if I thought there might be customers hiding in every nook and cranny, ready to stand up and denounce me as a closet queer.

Russell looked a bit like my eyes were making him dizzy. "Well, I wouldn't go that far, and you're asking the wrong bloke, anyway, but there are a few places-"

"Are we done, then?" Luke interrupted, striding up to clap a proprietary hand on Russell's shoulder.




 

 

I spoke up quickly in case Russell hadn't twigged I really didn't want to carry on our conversation in front of the other two. "Yes, I think that's everything."

Russell got the message. He made a little "let your fingers do the walking" gesture where Luke couldn't see it before they grabbed his stuff and said good-bye. I decided I liked Russell a lot-in a totally platonic way. "They seem like a nice couple," I said casually to Matt after the door had finally shut behind them. I thought it might be a good moment to establish my not-a-homophobe credentials.

"Oh-yeah, they are." Matt seemed a bit distracted, staring out the window as the couple in question disappeared from view.

"What was Luke giving you a hard time about?"

He jumped-just a little, but he definitely jumped. "Nothing! No, it was just … it was nothing. I'd better get back out back. Repairs." He was definitely avoiding looking me in the eye as he sidled past the bikes and into the back room.

What the hell?

***

I went straight to the hospital to see Jay after work. He was supposed to have had his surgery today, so I wanted to make sure it had gone okay. "Where's Mum?" I asked when I got in the door to find Jay, against all probability, on his own.

Then I caught sight of Jay's leg, resting on the blanket, and forgot I'd even asked. "Bloody hell, Jay! What have they done to you?"

The cast was gone, and his leg had … bits of metal sticking out of it. Shiny silver rods and screws, as if some medical student had been given a Meccano set for his birthday and decided to combine his two loves. The rods disappeared into Jay's flesh just above his knee. My stomach gave an uneasy lurch. "Is that supposed to be an improvement? When you said they were going to put a framework in, I thought you meant, well, in."

Jay gave Frankenstein's limb a cursory glance. "Yeah, it's actually feeling a lot better now. I've got to be careful not to knock it, though."

It didn't look better to me. It looked swollen, painful and frankly nauseating. "Can you walk on it now?"

"Nah. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to start with all that. Be good to get back on my feet."

I swallowed. "So … will you be coming back to the shop soon?"

"Had enough of slumming it down here, have you?"

"Don't be a prat!" It came out a bit more forcefully than I meant it to, and Jay shot me an astonished look. "No-I'm, well, I'm kind of enjoying it, actually. So you don't need to worry about hurrying back. Why not leave it until your leg's healed properly? Take a break. Pun not intended."