I couldn't help a glance over to Bruce, who was glowering in a corner and wiping sweat off his forehead.
Sensei laughed. "He's just a little bit enthusiastic at times, our Mr. Pritchard. Don't worry about it. You'll get used to him." He coughed. "You might want to pick a different partner for a while, though."
As I bowed and walked out of the dojo, Bruce glared at me. I half expected his foot to shoot out and trip me as I squeezed past his pumped-up physique, but nothing happened.
I hoped that didn't mean he was biding his time for a more satisfying revenge later.
***
When I got home, Wolverine was in the kitchen glaring pointedly at the empty food bowl. "Who's a cute little pussy-wussy, then?" I crooned, hoping it might wind him up. He didn't even dignify me with a disdainful look. "All right, all right. It's coming." Feeling smug because I'd remembered to get some cat food at Asda, I grabbed a fork and opened up a can.
Ye gods, that stuff hummed. It was worse than the tuna first thing in the morning. "You actually eat this stuff?" I asked Wolverine in disbelief, trying to hold my breath while forking the glutinous mass out into the bowl. He miaowed at me. Maybe he was annoyed at me for dissing his dinner.
Then again, maybe not. It turned out Wolverine didn't believe the stuff was edible either. He took one sniff and then backed away hurriedly, turning to me and miaowing again, this time with a definite note of reproach. "It's all you're getting," I warned him. He hissed, and it was my turn to back off. Then I felt a bit ridiculous. "If you think you're going to bully me into giving you tuna, you can think again. I'm going to have a shower," I said firmly.
I escaped upstairs and sluiced off the grime of the day with a certain amount of relief-after all that sparring, I was humming a bit myself. My thoughts wandered, as they do at times like this. There's only so much concentration you can give to lathering up. I wondered how Kate and Alex were doing, and whether they'd had their first row about him leaving the toilet seat up yet. Of course, that wouldn't be a problem for Matt and Steve, would it? Their life was probably one long, happy round of leaving the seat up, drinking beer on the sofa in their underwear, and sharing fart jokes.
I frowned. Did gay guys think fart jokes were funny? Maybe they weren't like that at all. I'd never really known any gay guys all that well-except Graham at Uni, and at the time I hadn't even known he was gay. We'd sort of drifted apart after he got his first boyfriend and came out. But maybe gay guys were different. Maybe they kept their house as neat as Kate did and liked to drink wine and talk about the theatre in the evening?
Common sense reasserted itself forcefully in the form of a vivid, and frankly ridiculous, mental image of Matt sipping Chablis with his little finger cocked. If he had a total personality transplant, maybe. No, Matt was just a regular guy. Which meant that, in all likelihood, Steve was just a regular guy. Right now, they were probably relaxing together on the sofa watching Sky Sports, maybe having a bit of a cuddle …
I turned the tap off sharply. I was clean enough now.
Of course, when I went downstairs again, the kitchen was still full of uneaten cat food and unhappy cat. And the smell … It was like walking into a wall of silage. If I stayed in the room much longer, I'd need another shower. If I left the food here all night, it'd probably follow me upstairs and suffocate me in my sleep.
I sighed. "Look, I'm not giving in, all right?" I said. Wolverine's ear twitched. "I'm merely conceding you may, possibly, have a point here." Twenty pounds of feline bruiser wound their way around my ankles, nearly toppling me as I looked around the kitchen, bowl in hand, wondering what to do with the wretched stuff. In the end, I just dumped it out the cat flap. Something was bound to eat it in the night. This was the countryside. They had foxes, hedgehogs, badgers and … things.
I opened up a tin of tuna and forked it into the newly empty bowl. Wolverine leapt on it like a paparazzo on a celebrity sex scandal. Feeling I'd done my good deed for the day, I went to bed.
Only to be woken half an hour later by what felt like a fur cushion full of rocks and nails sitting on my chest breathing fishy fumes and purring like a buzz saw. I sighed, shoved him off to one side and rolled over. God, I hoped I snored.
Chapter Five
The next morning, my bedmate was nowhere to be seen. "Typical male," I grumbled sleepily, rolling out of bed. Except that wasn't really fair, was it? Over in the New Forest, Matt would be waking up with Steve, all cosy and lovey-dovey, no doubt. I wondered if they'd kiss. God, of course they'd kiss. They were in love. Apparently. They'd probably make time for a quickie before work …