“I hope you get it,” I said. “You deserve it. You’re fantastic at your job.”
“Thank you. I know.” She grinned impishly.
The waiter brought dinner. I ate slowly while Dylan downed her third glass of wine. I wondered if she was getting drunk to make this less awkward, but it didn’t matter. I was finally getting my chance to talk to Dylan.
Her cheeks were growing more flushed with every glass she drank. “I think I should stop,” Dylan said with a giggle.
“Probably a good idea,” I said.
She pushed her wine glass away. “Don’t let me drink anymore.”
“Noted.”
She dug into her plate and ate with relish. Dylan was all grown up, but she definitely hadn’t become one of those women who was afraid to eat in front of a guy, which was refreshing. I’d always liked the reckless, devil may care part of her personality. It was what had made me start noticing her as something more than my best friend’s sister. Even in college I’d gotten frustrated with dating women who thought everything in life should be taken slowly and ambition was best kept small.
Dylan wanted everything and she wanted it yesterday. It was a desire I understood completely.
We ate in silence for a minute before she set down her napkin and met my gaze. “I want to know why,” she said.
“Why?” I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but I suspected. The one thing standing between us, the night that had wrecked everything. “You want to know why I left?”
“Yes.” Her gaze bore into mine.
I’d rather have avoided the subject for a little bit longer, but I knew I wasn’t going to earn forgiveness without explaining myself.
“I don’t have a good reason. I made a mistake.”
“Which part?” She fiddled with her napkin. “You made a mistake sleeping with me or-”
“No. Well, the timing was wrong, but no. I don’t consider sleeping with you a mistake. At all.” I tried to reach for her hand, but she pulled back from me. “I fucked up when I left. I just panicked. You’re my best friend’s little sister. You’re so far off limits you may as well be on another planet, and I broke every rule in the bro code when I slept with you.”
Dylan rolled her eyes. “The bro code? That’s what this is about?”
I smiled.
The waiter tried to stop by with a dessert menu and I waved him off.
“I told you I didn’t have a good excuse. I was in college. I was an idiot. I didn’t realize that I could lose you until you were gone.” My voice caught. I hadn’t known that the decision I’d made that night would ruin my relationship with Dylan for ten years. If I’d known, even as dumb as I was, I still would have made a different choice and stayed. Nothing was worth losing Dylan.
“In between groveling for forgiveness, could you get that waiter back? I really want some chocolate cake.” Dylan grinned at me, and I knew she was going to forgive me.
I relaxed. It was a start. She was giving me the second chance I needed to mend our broken relationship.
I waved the waiter back and ordered Dylan her cake, with ice cream and extra chocolate sauce on top.
Dylan sighed. “I really shouldn’t eat so much. A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips…”
“I like your hips.” I tried to check her out past the table, but the damn tablecloth was in the way. “Don’t listen to stupid shit like that. It just screws with your head. You can enjoy yourself and still be sexy.”
Dylan pressed a spoon against her lips. “Some people would say you need to be miserable to be sexy. Suffer for your beauty and all that.”
“Some people don’t have two rocks to rub together in their skull to strike a spark. I think you’re sexier when you’re happy than when you’re miserable.”
Dylan raised an eyebrow in that maddening way she had. “You think you can make me happy?”
“I’d like to try.”
Her breath hitched in her throat. I didn’t want to wait for dessert. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and haul her out of the restaurant and back to my apartment like the Neanderthal I was.
“I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am for what happened between us. I’ve hated myself for ten years because of what I did to you. I want you back in my life.”
I said too much. I was afraid she was going to run and never look back. I shouldn’t have overplayed my hand like that. Stupid, stupid, stupid. But I wanted her too badly and it showed through everything I tried to say and do.
Dylan was silent. She lowered her spoon down to her empty plate. I watched every twitch of her face as I waited for her answer.