I felt like I was watching a ghost.
“Boris, your fat ass can’t pull a girl like that even if you had some fucking roofies,” Alex said.
I laughed, but my heart wasn’t really into it.
I was watching her from the corner of my eyes. My heart started beating faster and I couldn’t fucking believe what I was seeing.
It was my past, sitting there at the bar.
Memory came and swallowed me up. I could practically feel her lips against mine again, the way she moaned as my fingers pressed inside of her. We used to steal booze from her parents and fuck out in the woods, getting drunk and laughing together. I was so fucking innocent and stupid back then, I almost thought she actually loved me.
But then she moved away and it nearly broke me. I was just a stupid teenager back then, and part of me wanted to make it work.
I stopped calling her when my uncle asked me if I wanted to do a job for him. That was how I got involved with the Petrov Family, and it turned out that I was pretty fucking good at what I did.
Sadie didn’t want to be involved with a man like me. She made that shit clear before she left, when we were still together. She wanted me to stay far away from my uncles and their work, and I couldn’t really blame her.
When she was gone, there was nothing holding me back. I released all my pent-up aggression and anger on the pathetic losers that I was hired to collect from. I realized that I actually enjoyed it when a man begged for my forgiveness.
Sadie was my life ten years ago, when I was a fucking kid, but seeing her again brought back a rush of memories and emotions. I’d been with plenty of women since her, even dated one for a couple weeks until I figured out that I hated being tied down. But I always thought about Sadie as the one that got away late at night when I was drifting off to sleep.
“Did you hear what I said, Gage?” Alex asked.
I blinked. “No. I was ignoring your shrill voice.”
He laughed. “I said, the big boss was asking about you the other day.”
That got my attention. “Vadik?”
“The one and only.”
Vadik was the leader of the Petrov Family and the most dangerous man in the entire state. I was a little surprised that I was on his radar at all.
“What did he have to say?”
“Heard that you were doing a good job from me. He heard about you from some other people too. Apparently you might be getting some more responsibility.”
I nodded, not sure how I felt about that. I liked where I was. The money was fucking good, the women were fucking good, and I wasn’t the type that enjoyed change. I wanted to keep on cracking skulls and getting cash, and I had no interest in being some fucking scumbag boss like Alex.
“Good,” I grunted.
“Good?” Boris asked, amazed. “Fucking Vadik talks about you, and all you say is fucking ‘good’?”
I shrugged. “The fuck you want me to say?”
Boris just shook his head and laughed.
“Maybe you won’t be so bored soon,” Alex said.
“Maybe. I like where I’m at, though.”
“Don’t say that shit.” Alex frowned at me. “Plus, you don’t have much choice. If the big boss wants to promote you, you’re getting promoted.”
“Sure, sure. Whatever Vadik wants. I work for the family.”
Alex nodded, his eyes still narrowed. I needed to keep in mind that he was my boss and that I couldn’t say whatever I fucking wanted in front of him. Alex was a shithead, but he was also dangerous in his own way.
I stood up, moving out of the booth. “I’m changing this fucking music,” I said. “It sounds like a fucking teenage girl’s bedroom in here.”
The guys laughed as I walked across the bar, toward the jukebox. I stood there, glancing sideways at Sadie.
She looked right back at me. Our eyes locked for a second, and I felt that familiar thrill run through me.
I hadn’t felt that in a very long time. It was a mix of need, want, and lust. She looked away, but there was no mistaking it. She saw me, and she recognized me. I saw the slight surprise in her eyes.
I chose a new song, something a little less Britney Spears. As I turned back toward the crowd, I saw Sadie standing up to leave.
I had a moment of pure insanity. I couldn’t describe it any other way. I knew that I should have walked away back toward my table and forgotten all bout her, but I started walking. We were different people, completely different people. She was dressed like a serious business person and was holding a fat file in her hand, while I was covered in tattoos. We couldn’t have ended up in more different places.
And yet we were both in Ralph’s. I couldn’t stop myself as I went toward her, purposefully striding across the room. As she got to the door, she looked back at me, and I saw it.