The tub filled and finally she sat down in it, leaning back. I sat on the toilet bowl, legs stretched out, hands on the back of my head.
“Have you killed before?” she asked me suddenly.
I paused. “Yes,” I said honestly.
“I knew it. It just seemed so easy for you.”
“It’s never easy,” I said. “It shouldn’t be easy. But I do it because I have to.”
“You don’t have to be one of them, you know.”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand.”
“They’re bad people.”
“Not all of them. The mafia gave me a place in the world, they gave me a life. I can’t turn my back on them.”
“You saved me. You killed one of your own people.”
I nodded and didn’t say anything. I never liked Kuzma much, but she was right, he was one of my people.
Still, I would kill him over and over if I had to. I would do it to save her.
“I don’t understand you,” she said.
“That’s okay. You don’t need to.”
“I want to. I’ve spent my whole life trying to put people like you behind bars but now here I am, alive only because you are who you are.”
“You would have survived without me.”
“Not like this, I wouldn’t have. I would be broken.” Tears choked her words. “Dirty.”
I looked at her for a second then moved over toward her. I sat down on the edge of the tub and put my arm around her shoulders, tracing circles on her shoulder. I didn’t say a word and she leaned against me, sitting there and staring off into space.
I knew there was nothing I could say to fix this for her. There was nothing I could say that could take away the pain she was feeling, the horror of that bastard Kuzma. It was stupid, but I did want to try and fix things for her, though I knew that was impossible. She was going to have to bear this burden and survive it.
I knew she could. I knew she was strong, probably stronger than she even realized.
We sat there together in the bathroom not saying a word, lost together. We were still in a fucking ton of danger, but for the moment, we had a brief second of peace.
Chapter 13
Sadie
I woke up with a start. I took a deep breath, coming into consciousness suddenly, and looked around. Terror was lancing through me, and I needed to get up, needed to run.
The dream state wore off in a few seconds. I took some deep breaths and had to tell myself a few times that it was only a dream. It had happened, for real, but that was hours ago. That was over. The dream was just a dream and I wasn’t actually being raped.
I stretched in the unfamiliar bed, looking around.
The night before went past like a blur. After Gage had saved me from that man and killed him, everything melted past. I could barely remember what happened. I knew we left the hotel together, and Gage said something about living next to me. Then I came back and took a bath while he sat with me, softly rubbing circles in my shoulder the way he used to.
Embarrassment creeped up my cheeks. Oh god, I was completely naked in that bath and he was holding me like I was a little girl. I shook my head, shocked that I had done that, but more shocked about the way Gage had treated me.
He took care of me. He was tender, gentle, and loving. I never saw that side of Gage, and I figured he didn’t have a single tender bone in his body, but clearly I was wrong. I was a mess when he brought me to his place, but he made sure that I was safe, secure, and comfortable. He let me stay in that bath and he sat next to me the whole time, never complaining.
I was wearing a pair of his shorts and a T-shirt two sizes too big, so probably his, too. I didn’t think he actually dressed me, but I couldn’t put it past myself. It was strange, the way I had reacted. I understood that I was in shock, but at the time it was just like my systems had shut down, like my brain turned down the volume to block out everything around it. Maybe that’s what people do when they’ve experienced something bad.
I rolled over and sat up, groaning. I checked a digital clock on the nightstand and saw that it was eight in the morning. I was late for work, but I was probably going to have to miss a day or two.
I clenched the sheets. I was going to have to miss more than a couple days, I realized. The mob sent someone to fucking rape me, and it would have worked if Gage hadn’t been there. They wanted to rape me to send me a message, to make me back down, to destroy me.
Well, it worked. I wasn’t going to go forward that that case, not anymore. It was just too stupid and dangerous. Rick Shakeman, that bastard, he knew what he was getting me into. He knew that I was going to be putting my life in serious risk by prosecuting these people, and he did it anyway. That was why he wasn’t taking the job himself.