I hit a nerve with that one. “Why do you think you know what I want?”
“You’re a good girl. High GPA, goes to Notre Dame, science geek. Lives in a lab, I bet. That sort of shit, the career you want, that’s all political as much as you don’t want to admit it. I’m not good for politics.”
“What do you know about what I want?” she repeated again, angrier.
“I guess I don’t. But I know what I am.”
“So do I.”
“What am I, Brie?” I asked, stepping closer to her.
I saw her breath catch in her throat. “Don’t,” she said.
“Don’t what?” I asked, stopping inches away from her. “Don’t make you say it?”
“Just let it drop, Lincoln.”
“What am I?”
“Drop it.”
I reached up and touched her face. She inhaled sharply. “Say it,” I whispered.
“You’re a fucking asshole. You’re not good for me,” she said.
I nodded sadly. “That’s right.”
There was a brief moment where she looked back at me and everything seemed fine. Then I dropped my hand and moved away from her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” she blurted out.
“Don’t worry about it, Brie baby. I’m still going to do my mom’s charity thing.”
“I don’t care about that.”
I leaned back against the pinball machine. “We can’t keep doing this dance, and we can’t keep fucking. There’s only one choice.”
She stared at me, her face a mask of anger. “You think you know everything, don’t you?”
“Seems obvious to me, that’s all.”
“Nothing is fucking obvious about this. But I guess I was right about one thing: you are an asshole.”
“Can’t fight the truth,” I said, shrugging.
“Fine. I’ll keep you updated on the event. Otherwise, I’ll leave you alone.”
“Whatever you want.”
Her jaw worked like she wanted to say something, and I had the irrational urge to walk across the room and kiss her again.
I wanted to take her. I wanted the things that I wanted despite all the reasons not to have them. I wanted her.
She turned and left the room without another word. I watched her go in silence.
I turned back to the pinball machine, slamming the paddles, letting myself get lost in the game. I knew I had blown that up. I had done it on purpose. I was telling myself it was for her own good, but I really wasn’t sure of anything anymore. All I knew was that I wanted her and couldn’t get her out of my head.
But with everything happening, that was the last thing either of us needed.
I slammed the paddle and watched the metal ball zoom across the machine’s face and bounce around, points skyrocketing.
It was better this way. It had to be better this way. We had one more event together, and then we could go back to living our separate lives. I’d heal, finish up the documentary, finish up my parole, and finally go back to jumping.
She could go back to living her normal life.
Better this way. Definitely better.
The metal ball zoomed, and I smashed the paddles. But I mistimed it, and the ball slipped between them.
The scoreboard read “Game Over.”
Chapter 15
Aubrie
Charity Event #2
Another few days of not talking to each other, avoiding glances in the hallways, and showering when I knew he’d be busy. I felt like a petulant teenager in a fight with her mom, except I was avoiding the stepbrother who I wanted more than anything.
I couldn’t get that night out of my head. I had never been touched like that before, with a rough but tender intensity, like I was the only person in the entire world that mattered.
Even when his legs almost collapsed out from under him, he still managed to be the strongest man I had ever met in my life. When I rode him, I felt free and loose and easy.
Nobody had ever made me feel that way before. Nobody had ever come close.
And instead of working my ass off to keep that feeling going, I messed it all up. I didn’t plan on going in there and ending things, but looking at him standing there covered in sweat, I panicked. I was afraid of how badly I wanted him to fuck me right there on the pool table.
I was reckless around him. Neither of us could afford that.
So I acted like an asshole and screwed it up. I was a coward and I wasn’t talking to him and he wasn’t talking to me and I hated every second I had to spend without his perfect arms wrapped around my naked body.
“Paintings are here,” Jules chirped into my ear.
I winced and adjusted the headset’s volume. “Got it. Where do you want them?”
“Table thirty-two, please.”