“Wow.”
“Six years ago, I came home from basic training and she tried to hide a black eye. I kicked my step-father’s ass from one side of the house to the other, but she defended him. Took her three more months of him beating on her before the money ran dry. I got her out of there, she met your dad, and the rest…” He shrugged. “At least he never hit her.”
“No. He wouldn’t have.”
Zach held my stare. “Don’t pretend like you’re some lost little lamb in the world. You want to feel guilty? Feel guilty. You want to feel sad you didn’t know him better? Fine. But don’t front a holier-than-thou attitude, Shay. I’m not in the mood.”
I bristled. Only Momma ever took that tone with me. I wasn’t sure I liked it coming from Zach. He wasn’t exactly shining his perfect halo.
“Don’t you dare lecture me about my behavior,” I said. “Not after what you did.”
Zach waved his arms wide. “God help the next man who thinks you’re attractive. Two forms of ID, a credit check, and proof of his family tree before he gets in your pants.”
“I should have known what type of guy you were when you introduced yourself.”
“And what type of guy is that?”
“I don’t know, Hard, why don’t you tell me? Find a girl in the bar, take her home?”
His eyes darkened, a deep jade that looked colder and less inviting than his usual conquesting smirk. His voice rumbled, rough and impatient. Everything about Zach morphed before my eyes. This wasn’t the carefree charmer from the pool.
I really pissed him off. I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t like that it happened.
Why did it hurt so much to have him mad at me?
None of this made sense, and that was exactly the reason getting closer to Zach would be a bad idea. We’d end it before the Disney birds started tweeting and my heart fluttering. A crazy part of me actually liked his idea of a house in the Maldives, a place where no one knew us. Just me. Him. A sunset. Solitude and peace and absolutely no responsibility to anyone but ourselves.
Did I deserve that slice of paradise? Did Zach deserve to wake up from a nap so I could call him out for being a man-whore?
I meant to set a line in the sand. Instead, we ended up bearing our souls. Then again, I bared enough of my body to him. At least now I was seeing what made Zach, Zach. And I almost liked it.
Almost.
“You know.” Zach took an unsteady breath. “I did meet a girl at the bar. I did take her home. And she was the best goddamned fuck I ever had.”
“Zach—”
“And yes, I regretted every minute I didn’t tell her who I was. I regret it more now that she’s pissed as fuck at me and I ruined my chances with her. But Shay?” He leaned close. “You might believe it of me, but I didn’t think you were any particular type of girl.”
I looked away. He didn’t care.
“I didn’t judge you, even though you sure as hell assumed I was some shady player looking to score. I thought I was the luckiest bastard in the world to spend the night with someone so goddamned beautiful.”
I stilled. His voice only hardened.
“I didn’t think you were a slut because you found a guy to fuck,” he said, watching me flinch at the word. “But you’re sure as hell acting like a bitch now.”
The insult hurt, worse than I ever imagined. Especially coming from a man whose opinion had somehow started to matter.
He realized it too. He turned, rubbing his head.
“Fuck, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, Shay.”
He apologized.
He never apologized, not in the weeks we spent together. I shut my mouth, but he groaned, sitting back on the couch.
“Sorry. I’m not feeling right. I have a headache…” He pressed his lips tight. His face had paled, but he didn’t let me speak. Was that why he stayed in the theater? It was one of the few comfortable and dark rooms in the house. “I didn’t mean it.”
“I think you did.” And I think I deserved it.
“Why did you really come to talk to me?” Zach said. “I can’t see straight. Don’t ask me to read between the lines now.”
“It’s nothing,” I lied. “I have some aspirin in my bathroom. Help yourself.”
“Thanks.”
I cleared my throat. “That’s not an invitation to the bedroom.”
He smirked. “Yet.”
“Keep dreaming, loverboy.”
“Every night, Shay. Every night.”
I didn’t have the courage to tell him I dreamed it too.
I ignored the rapid-fluttering that lumped my heart in my throat. I hoped I’d choke on it before I admitted what I was feeling.