I was confused. "Sure. Unless you're about to tell me I'm ugly. Or that I smell funny."
He laughed, a sound that eased me for a moment.
"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in person," he said.
I was speechless. I was thankful he couldn't see the look on my face right then.
He continued, "For whatever reason, as soon as I saw you the first night you were in town, I was drawn to you. I'm only a red blooded man after all. And when that happens, I pull away. I get cold. Not because I don't like you. But because being with me is not good for anyone. I am not the kind of man who is emotionally available, so to speak. It's a long story, but it's the way it is. So me pushing you away is not to hurt you. It's to not hurt you, Belle. Because the last thing I'd ever want is for you to be hurt. And I can tell you have been in the past. People don't drive across the country to escape things that make them happy. And I'm not asking you to talk about it. But I'm asking you to understand that you're not the only one who has a past. So know that this is not me rejecting you. That kiss was the best kiss of my life. I can confidently say that, even though it only happened a few minutes ago. And I won't lie and say I haven't been thinking about what that would be like all week. But I can't let you in, Belle." He held me tighter then. "And I'm sorry about that."
We stood there in an embrace for a long while. For someone who didn't want to let me in, he sure didn't want to let me go.
"Is this about Amber?" I asked. I felt his grip on me loosen.
Shit. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned her.
"Amber?" he asked. "What do you mean?"
I pulled away from him to see his face, which looked genuinely confused.
"Amber Halliday," I said. "Your uncle told me about her. Your high school love? She broke your heart so now you won't let anyone in."
He looked at me for a long moment as if he was calculating something in his head. And then, unexpectedly, he laughed.
"Amber Halliday?" he said. "Jesus. Why on earth would he mention her to you? I haven't thought about her since she dumped me. Sure, it sucked at the time. But we were kids, and as soon as it happened I was grateful. She would have been a huge pain in the ass to be married to. And I never felt anything for her other than high school love. Which was fine at the time, but it's certainly not something I think about on a day to say basis. Or even a decade to decade basis. Wow." He was chuckling now and I was slightly humiliated.
"Well, why would he tell me that?" I asked. "I would think he knows you pretty well."
"I mean, he does," Huck said. "He probably just thinks that because it was easier than telling him anything else. I mean, my brothers and my uncle … We're close. But we definitely keep some things to ourselves. Rick likes to pull things out of us, it's the bartender in him. He's great at getting people to confess shit. He would've been a great priest. But damn. I can't believe he told you about Amber."
I was beyond confused. And tired. And just over the whole thing.
"Okay well," I said. "Thanks for making me feel stupid. I just want to know you and when he told me that, I could relate to it. It made you more human to me. But now you're just making me feel like a jackass."
I turned from him but his hand was on my shoulder.
"Belle," the way he said my name made my stomach flop around. His voice was sexy all on its own, but the sound of my name on his tongue made me shiver.
"It wasn't my intent to make you feel stupid," he said. "But I also didn't want you to think I'm carrying a torch for someone else."
"And why would you care what I thought?" I asked, crossing my arms against my chest. "I mean; why does it matter?"
"Because," he said. "I guess you just make me want to be honest. Which is a new feeling for me, I tend to keep things from everyone. And I get the feeling you're the same way."
"There's no point burdening people with things they can't do anything about," I said. "Anyway. Thank you for helping me tonight."
I walked back to my room expecting to hear the sound of the front door closing behind him as he left. But instead his voice called to me.
"Do you want to go do something?" he asked. "Tonight? I mean, we're both off. Hayes and Hunt are running things at the bar. Saturdays are ladies' night, which curiously get more rowdy than Friday nights."
I looked at him, surprised.
"So you can't kiss me," I said. "But you can take me out? On a date?"
He smiled. Damn him and his sexy smirk.
"Yeah, I guess so," he said. "I just can't let you fall in love with me. And I can't fall in love with you."
My heart broke a little hearing him say that. Even though it was probably for the best. I mean, he was right. We were both clearly damaged from our own pasts. I knew about my own, but I didn't know about his. And I could respect that. Even if it pained me to.
I had other things to focus on anyway. Like saving up money. Building a new life for myself, one where I didn't need to depend on anyone else.
"Fine," I said. "But only after I sleep for about 12 hours. And you're buying."
He opened the front door and nodded. "Not a problem. I have an idea. Just take care of yourself, Belle."
And with that, he was gone.
9
I had no idea what to wear.
I didn't know what time Huck was showing up to get me and I still didn't have a cell phone, something I hoped to correct later next week when Rick drove into Great Falls for the monthly grocery run. So Huck couldn't text or call me to tell me he was on his way.
All I could do was wait and hope that he'd show up.
So I'd put on a sundress. To me a woman always looked beautiful in a simple sundress, big hair, and sexy heels. But then I thought heels might be a little much. So I put on a pair of cowboy boots. I mean, I was in Montana after all. Might as well look the part. The whole outfit reminded of something Sandra Bullock's character would've worn in the movie Hope Floats.
I'd slept until almost four in the afternoon, a deep dreamless sleep. I was grateful for the lack of nightmares that I'd been sure would plague me after the drama from the previous night. I guessed my body and mind were just too exhausted to deal with the memory of what had happened. So the sleep had been good for me.
But now I was wide awake. And eager to see Huck again.
He'd told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen in person.
At around 7 pm I was starting to give up on the prospect of him showing up at all when I heard tires on gravel coming up the road.
I glanced out the window and sure enough, there he was. Red truck and all.
I watched him step out the driver's side. He looked sexy as always in a simple blue button down and a pair of Levis. I watched him walk down the drive and up my steps, running his hands nervously through his hair, a habit I noticed he had when he was anxious about something.
I opened the door before he had a chance to knock on it.
As soon as he saw me his eyes got wide. I guess he was done pretending he wasn't attracted to me.
"Wow," he said, leaning against the threshold of the door. "You look unbelievable."
I blushed, "Thank you. You clean up well too, Huck."
He stepped toward me so that his chest was right at my chin. I thought he was going to kiss me, something I wouldn't have minded after what had happened this afternoon.
"You make it hard for me to control myself," he said. "As terrible as that sounds. I always thought I was above the barbaric practice of taking a woman, but damn. Belle, I've never wanted anyone so much in my life."
Wow. I had not expected him to say that.
I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, fully expecting him to push me back.
But he didn't. I could feel him relenting under my mouth and soon he was just as urgent to touch me as I was to have his hands on me. I could feel his hardness against my body through his jeans. God, I couldn't imagine what he held underneath that belt buckle.
But this time I pulled back.
"I want to see what you have in store," I said, breathless. "Before I let you have any more of me. It's only fair."
He grinned. "Fair enough. Now I'm starting to wish I hadn't stopped us this morning. I could have spent the entire day doing that."
I took his hand in mine, "So what do you have in store for us?"
"Sunset," he said. "On the lake. Not far from here, on the end of my family's property. I'd love to see it with you. That's really all I have planned for now."