I groaned. “Don’t fuck with me right now, okay?”
“Okay, okay. I’m only teasing. Jeez.” She held up her hands and walked out of the office.
“Really, though,” Erica said, winking. “She’ll say yes. It’s a sure thing.” She left, too, closing the door.
I sighed, leaning back in my chair. I crossed my ankles on top of the desk and thought about what I was going to do in a few hours. I had wanted to ask her to marry me for a year, but I wanted the timing to be right. I wanted to be sure she wanted my kid and me, that she wouldn’t change her mind when she figured out it wasn’t all gonna be fun and games.
I should’ve known better, knowing her. She wasn’t the type who would cut ties and run just because something was hard. She doubled down and worked even harder to get through it. She was the best mother any kid could ask for, and the best girlfriend I could imagine. I still didn’t think I deserved her, and used to ask myself sometimes what the hell she saw in a guy like me. She could’ve had anybody she wanted, anybody in the world. The sort of guy who lived in her neighborhood, the rich guys with their nice clothes and nice cars. I would never be one of them—she never asked me to be, either.
I remembered how uncomfortable I used to feel when I first moved in. I used to feel the stares from the neighbors when I rode my bike down the street. I was used to people staring—I never cared before then whether people liked me or not. I’d never cared about fitting in. Hell, I didn’t want to fit in. I loved making people uncomfortable when I was younger. Before I met Jamie.
I didn’t want her to be ashamed of me, but I wasn’t going to change who I was. I still took Gigi to the park and walked around with her. We even got a dog when she begged us to—she had always wanted one, but Rae would never let her get one. Probably a good thing for the dog. Neighbors used to watch us walk by. Sometimes I would hear them muttering to each other. It was then I figured out I might make Gigi ashamed of me one day, too.
After a while, everybody accepted me, and I found out they weren’t so bad either. I helped the lady across the street when she had problems with her kitchen sink, and she baked us a cake. I helped the neighbor two doors down to put in his deck, and he had us over for a cookout when it was finished. It was a good feeling, knowing they liked me. I could tell it made Jamie happy, too.
The box was still in my pocket, burning a hole. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What would she look like when I took it out? What would she say? Yes, I hoped. What else, though? Would she cry? Would she tell me she never thought about us getting married? Was she happier the way things were? Did she still wanna be able to escape one day if she felt like it?
No. She wasn’t the type. Just like she wasn’t the type to leave when she figured out being a mom wasn’t just baking cookies and braiding hair.
It didn’t keep me from worrying, though.
***
A few hours later, everything was perfect. Traci and Erica set up candles all over the bar, which I lit when the time came for Jamie and Gigi to show up. There were flowers everywhere, and a bottle of champagne waited behind the bar. I made everybody clear out. The girls hugged me before they left.
“Have her call us when it’s over!” Erica said, waving from her car. I waved back, then hoped she would have something good to say when she called.
Just as Erica pulled out, Jamie pulled in. I went inside to wait for them. This was it.
The door opened. Gigi came in first, giggling. She ran to me. I shushed her, and we waited for Jamie.
“I thought you said you would help me carry this bag inside,” Jamie called out. Then she looked up and saw the room.
“What is this?”
“Another surprise for you!” Gigi laughed, clapping. “We got you again!”
I didn’t laugh. My palms were sweaty, my heart raced. I didn’t know what to say.
“Another surprise? I don’t think my heart can take much more of this today.” She smiled at Gigi, but when she looked at me, something in her eyes changed. Her smile changed, too. Softer, warmer.
“You did this?”
“I can’t take credit. Erica and Traci.”
“I have to thank them, then.” She kissed me. “What a nice anniversary surprise!”
“This isn’t everything.” I glanced down at Gigi, and she nodded. Just like we planned, she moved off to the side so I could have a little space. I took a deep breath and hoped everybody was right when they said she’d say yes.
Then I went on one knee. Jamie gasped, hands over her mouth.