The guys nodded and walked out, leaving me alone with Lance.
“That good enough for you?” He wore a wry smile.
“Yes, that’s good enough for me.” I smirked.
“I was proud of you. You managed to keep your mouth shut.”
“I can do it when I need to, thanks. I decided it was more important to hear what you were planning to do than to speak up.”
“Smart girl.” He grinned, closing the door so we could be alone. He sat beside me, and I couldn’t control the urge to lean into him. He put an arm around my shoulders while I rested my head on his chest. It felt nice, like there was somebody stronger than me who could take care of me. Not that I needed to be taken care of, of course. I could handle life on my own. Still, there was no denying how right it felt to put everything down for a little while and let somebody else support me…even if it was only my head they were supporting.
“I’m worried about you,” I admitted.
“You don’t have any reason to be,” he said, stroking my hair. “I’m flattered, though.”
I smacked him lightly, playfully. “I mean it. This Scarecrow sounds like the real deal. It bothers me to think about you trying to make a deal with him. People like that, bad people? They don’t play by the rules. Even I know that much.”
“He’s a businessman, that’s all. When he sees we can make a deal—probably with a lot of money in it—he’ll come around. Rae probably stole something from him or something stupid like that, like we said. She was never very smart when it came to the big things. He’ll be fine when I tell him he’ll get his money back.”
“No, she was never very smart.” I didn’t have the highest opinion of her to begin with, but the more I heard about her, the worse it got. So what if she used to be a nice person, the way Lance described her? Drugs changed who she was. How could she be so blind? Why would she ever get mixed up with a bad person like The Scarecrow when she had a little girl to think about? I counted my blessings, grateful that I’d never been in such a desperate place that I had to make a deal with a man like that. Grateful I’d never had to speak to him, much less know he was alive before meeting Lance.
“You all set for your adventure, then?” I grinned up at him.
“Adventure. There’s a word I never used before.” He grinned back.
“You’ll be safe, yes?”
“Of course.” He pulled me up by the shoulders until we were face-to-face. “I’m always safe. I have a little girl to think about, too.”
I hated the idea of him being her father, of raising her in his world…but it was nice hearing him talk about her as his little girl. Knowing he cared about her. He’d be the first person after me to really care about the kid. Her mother clearly didn’t.
A knock sounded at the door. It was Traci. “Dinner.”
“Dinner already?” Lance called out.
“Yeah, we figured we’d eat early since you’re going out in a little while. We can’t send you out on an empty stomach.”
Lance smiled. “They’re always thinking,” he muttered, shaking his head.
***
“Why aren’t you eating?”
I looked at Gigi. “What, sweetie?”
“Why aren’t you eating? Do you feel sick?”
I looked down at my plate of untouched food. I usually liked meatloaf, too, and everybody else seemed to be enjoying it. There was nothing I wanted less than to eat it. “No, sweetie. I feel okay. I’m just not very hungry tonight.”
“It’s good,” she assured me, going for another mouthful. I smiled, patting her on the head. She had no idea what was happening around her, and she didn’t need to know.
I couldn’t believe I was so worried about Lance. He could take care of himself, after all. He’d been dealing with nasty people his entire life, and he managed to come out relatively unscathed. This situation didn’t have to be any different from any other.
Only it was different. I didn’t know how I knew, but I did. There was something happening. Something bad. I wished I could tell him, wished he would take me seriously if I did. I knew he wouldn’t. He’d laugh me off, tell me I was acting like an idiot. If he didn’t say it out loud, his voice and the look on his face would say it all. I didn’t think I could handle that.
There was nothing I could do. My hands were tied, while my stomach clenched in knots. I felt nauseated, though I hadn’t eaten anything in hours. Even the smell of the food made me sick. I had to get up, had to get away. I pushed back from the table and went to the office, trying to get a breath of air. I wanted nothing more than to leave, to get far away and never think about the club or anybody in it again. I didn’t want to be a part of what was going on.