“It’s not that expensive,” I pointed out. “There’s a reason it’s so fucking popular nowadays. It’s easier to get your hands on than other drugs, and cheaper.”
“That’s not reassuring,” Jamie muttered. “Okay, well, let’s stay with the debt theory. Maybe she was working something off all week, but there’s no way she could ever pay him back, so she’s running. Or maybe she was with him, doing whatever they were doing, but she stole from him. Do you think she would do that?” She looked at me.
“How would I know? She’s a stranger now. If the heroin was thinking for her, yeah, she could have. Junkies will do anything, especially shit they wouldn’t do when they were straight.”
“Okay, so we’ll go with that. Boy, she got in with the wrong person, didn’t she?”
“Yeah, no shit. It scares the shit outta me that she might’ve had him at the house.”
Jamie’s face went dark. “Don’t even say that to me, please. I can’t stand it.”
“Okay. Either way, she’s safe.” Still, I thought about the way Rae’s mom brought men into the house.
“If I stole from a scary guy like him, I would run, too. I’d want to disappear.”
“I thought that, too. New York’s perfect for it.”
“What are you going to ask her? I mean, when you find her—what’s the purpose?”
“I need to know how pissed he is. I need to know what she did with him, if he knows about Gigi, if he knows where she is.”
“Would you stop her from going? If it meant she would be safer when she got to New York?”
That stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t know the answer. “If I hand her over to him—if it’s that kinda thing, where she’s running away from him—and he won’t stop until he gets his payback?”
“Right.” She waited patiently while I thought about it.
“Fuck.” I covered my face with my arm. It was too much. Jamie moved closer to me, putting an arm around my chest.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you upset.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t talk—there was a lump in my throat—but I needed her to understand it wasn’t her fault. It was just that I hadn’t thought about that yet. I could either turn her over to The Scarecrow so he could do whatever the hell he planned, or I could let her go and maybe put Gigi in danger. The answer was obvious.
“Does it make me a bad person if I say I’ll hand her over to him?”
“No. It makes you a father. You’ll do what you have to. I know you will.”
I lifted my arm from my eyes and looked at her. She was so intense it almost scared me. “I’m not a father. You told me so yourself. I just fertilized an egg.”
She blushed but didn’t back off. “I was angry with you when I said that. You should know I didn’t mean it. I was scared and angry and frustrated. You weren’t a father before this week. Now, you are. I know you care about her. I know you’ll do what’s best for her because you’re not a bad person.”
I laughed a little before turning my face away. She had no idea the shit I did with my life. If she knew, she wouldn’t want to be in bed with me or anywhere near me. My list of crimes ran through my head. Setting fires. Beating men until they gave up secrets the club wanted to know. Scaring the shit out of people. Getting into fights and punching the shit out of people because it felt good—not to defend myself, but to hurt them. I’d wanted to hurt them. One of them died in the hospital later on. The club defended me, lied about where I was that night. Went after the owner of the bar until he lied and said I wasn’t there.
Jamie took my chin, turning my face back to her. “Don’t look away,” she whispered. “I know you’re not as bad as you think you are if you care so much about her.”
“You think I’m a bad guy. Admit it.” I smirked.
“You’ve done bad things. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. I’m sure of it.”
I wished I could believe that.
She raised herself up until she hovered over me, then lowered her face to mine. I let her kiss me, getting harder every time her lips moved, when I felt her tongue sweep across my mouth. She sighed when my tongue touched hers. Her tits pressed against me, and I ran my hands over her smooth skin. Her ass was firm, ripe. I squeezed it, pulling her closer until she rubbed against my hard, aching cock. We both groaned.