Chapter Twelve
Jamie
“Am I ever gonna go back to school?”
I sighed. The poor thing looked more miserable than I had ever seen her, which was saying something, considering the fact that I’d seen her looking pretty miserable. I’d seen her half frozen, half starved, exhausted from staying up all night, listening to Rae’s parties. Despite the cheerful pink sweater and tutu she wore, she broke my heart.
I did my best to stay positive for her sake, smiling and stroking her dark hair. She had a set of bangs that were just a little too long, and I brushed them away from her eyes. “Of course you will, sweetie. But aren’t you having a nice vacation?”
“Is this what a vacation is?” She looked skeptical, then looked around the lounge.
I opened my eyes wide, smiling. “Heck yes! That’s what a vacation is. You take time off, you relax, and you have fun. Aren’t we having fun?”
“I guess so.” It was painful trying to draw her out that way. She wasn’t buying it. I felt sorry for her—my heart broke a little more, in fact. I knew how much she loved school, how much she cared about her friends. School was probably the only happy thing she had in her life, the only place she felt like she belonged—ironic, seeing as how she was so different from the other kids. It couldn’t be easy for her to be the only little person in a world full of grownups.
I craned my neck, lowering my head until our eyes met. “Hey. Everything’s going to be okay. You believe me, right?”
She nodded, frowning. She looked completely dejected, but she would do her best as long as she thought it would make me happy. I gave her a little half hug, but I was burning up with anger. I would have to have a little talk with her father whenever he decided to come back from running around.
Erica and Traci came out, and the three of us sat down to play poker with Gigi. It was the only thing that seemed to cheer her up. I worried that she might end up being a hopeless gambler one day, but it amused her in the moment. I couldn’t deny her.
I found myself watching the girls more closely than usual, mainly because they were so different from me. Both of them had long hair, which they curled down their backs. Both of them wore heavy makeup. Traci wore a tight tank top and skinny jeans. Erica wore a t-shirt she’d cut the neckband out of until it hung over one shoulder, and a pair of leather pants. They were buxom and sexy—if a little cheap. But nice girls.
Was that what Lance liked? Was that his type of girl? I would never be that girl. I would be a novelty to him for as long as we knew each other. He would never take me seriously. I was the bitch with the stick up her ass. He kissed me, but it didn’t mean anything. It was a heat of the moment type thing. I didn’t mean a thing. He wanted the type of girl Erica and Traci were. Nice, fun, sexy. And a little trashy.
It reminded me of the end of Grease, which always annoyed me. Sandy changes herself to make Danny happy, so they can be together. What sort of message was that for a girl? I would never do something like that. If I wasn’t good enough for Lance as I was, I would never be good enough.
Wait a minute. I completely messed up my hand of poker when it occurred to me that I was thinking about Lance as something more than Gigi’s father. When had that changed? When we first met, he was only a filthy criminal. I couldn’t stand being in the same room with him, much less the thought of killing him. Now I was wondering if he’d ever like me. How pathetic.
I paid more attention to the way Gigi interacted with the girls, and that took my mind off my mixed feelings. I could enjoy myself when I wasn’t thinking too much.
“So, Jamie,” Traci asked, glancing at me over her cards, “do you have a boyfriend?”
I blushed and cut my eyes at Gigi. It wasn’t the sort of conversation to be had in front of a little girl. She was way too interested in the answer, too.
“I don’t know if certain little people need to hear about this,” I joked, looking right at her.
“I won’t tell. Promise. I won’t even listen.” She put her hands over her ears—after laying her cards face-down, of course. She was a sharp kid.
“It’s okay.” I gently pried her hands from her ears. “The answer is no, anyway.”
“No? A pretty girl like you?” Erica shook her head in disappointment.
“You are pretty, Jamie. Everybody in class thinks so.” Gigi beamed.
“Thank you, sweetie.” I bit my lip to hide a smile. “And I love how the two of you sound like old ladies giving me advice, when I’m older than you.” I looked at Traci and Erica. They both giggled.